#65mph

And now I bet you can't, either.

This *may* become a one shot...I don't know yet.

Anyway so the car we’re taking still has snow tires on it with little nail things in it so we’re on the freeway going a max speed of 65 for the 240 miles. We grind and drive and all for 4 hours, get very lost trying to pick him up and then finally snatch him and go get something to eat.

So we’ve eaten our food (Arby’s ‘twas okay) and he pops into the restroom. And me and the driver just sort of look at each other and it’s just like, how fucking funny would it be if we just left him here. Just poof. Drive 4 hours to pick him up and then just turn around and drive back after seeing him for 15 minutes. He had another way to get back so he wouldn’t be stranded, so he’d just miss the event. Drive the 4 hours back and return empty handed with nothing but wasted time to show for it.

So we end up not committing cause I’m not that deranged yet but the 3 of us decide that the cannon is that we did commit. Everyone was going to expect him to pull up to the crib with us after the drive was done, but he actually needed to go to his place, which meant if we could convince everyone that we just straight up left him there he would be able to crash the party tomorrow completely unexpected.

Umm yeah so kinda committed to that for a bit, did a good job gaslighting and all, but for *some reason* everyone got super upset at me and I super wanted to bail. The issue is that college man COMITS to the bit an excessive amount, and like I can’t walk out on the bit if he still wants to press the issue. So I’m just sorta looking back at him in the back seat begging him with my eyes to end the gimmick while I’m getting yelled at on the phone for just fucking leaving him and driving 8 hours for nothing etc.

And it’s clear from his reaction that he is not willing to back down. He’s practically married to this bit already, but I keep begging him with my eyes and eventually he reluctantly puts out his fist and it’s clear: we’re going to play rock paper scissors to decide if I get fucking assaulted once the journey home is over.

Yeah so that’s good, got a chance or whatever, the ISSUE is that I’m actually terrible at rock paper scissors, like ungodly bad; not really anytime to think about that though so I just aggressively played rock after a whirlwind of thoughts raced through my head talking myself out of paper and scissors; he (thank fucking god) played scissors and it was over. I tossed him the phone and the crisis was averted.

green day, blink 182, bowling for soup, sum 41, bad religion, reel big fish, pearl jam, nirvana, soundgarden, metallica, ac/dc, etc you get to pick the snacks “no wearing shoes in car” rule