Oct 17, 2025
cotton candy skies + this rainbow that popped up out of nowhere and made my whole night 🥹🌈💓🌧️
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cotton candy skies + this rainbow that popped up out of nowhere and made my whole night 🥹🌈💓🌧️
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SA interviews tomorrow.
I want to be on exect. 😭😭😭
LXXXIII: stuck in a rut
What has become of my life. The more and more I proceed with these tumblr posts, the more and more I seem to appear helpless. Of all people I honestly though I’d have more drive but I seem to have absolutely zero determination or motivation to continue on to success. Of course I would love to bathe in satisfaction of accomplishing anything and everything to the best of my ability however instead I’m basking in the shame I have for not even putting any effort whatsoever to anything lately. I just have this empty hole of a heart and it’s completely sucking the life out of me. I just feel like I’m sinking deeper and deeper into this abyss and at the same time keeping this stupid smile on my face that has no meaning whatsoever. Everything easily fries my brain out and I know I can be better than this but because I’ve been in this state for so long I can’t get out of it. No matter how much I want to, I just can’t. I know I sound like a brat because there are tons of people who have it worse. But this is my life, and it’s my time to complain. Which I’ve been doing excessively. I need to stop. I need to have that same driving force I had in the beginning of the semester. What I really need to do is stop thinking about what other people have to say or do, or their life in general. In time I know I’ll be able to enjoy the things I want to enjoy in life and just because I have a happier image of them than me, doesn’t mean that I’ll always be that girl in the corner sulking by herself. I can do this. I know I can. I know I will. And I know I am going to accomplish all my goals.
XXXIII: stuck in a rut
What has become of my life. The more and more I proceed with these tumblr posts, the more and more I seem to appear helpless. Of all people I honestly though I'd have more drive but I seem to have absolutely zero determination or motivation to continue on to success. Of course I would love to bathe in satisfaction of accomplishing anything and everything to the best of my ability however instead I'm basking in the shame I have for not even putting any effort whatsoever to anything lately. I just have this empty hole of a heart and it's completely sucking the life out of me. I just feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into this abyss and at the same time keeping this stupid smile on my face that has no meaning whatsoever. Everything easily fries my brain out and I know I can be better than this but because I've been in this state for so long I can't get out of it. No matter how much I want to, I just can't. I know I sound like a brat because there are tons of people who have it worse. But this is my life, and it's my time to complain. Which I've been doing excessively. I need to stop. I need to have that same driving force I had in the beginning of the semester.
What I really need to do is stop thinking about what other people have to say or do, or their life in general. In time I know I'll be able to enjoy the things I want to enjoy in life and just because I have a happier image of them than me, doesn't mean that I'll always be that girl in the corner sulking by herself. I can do this. I know I can. I know I will. And I know I am going to accomplish all my goals.