#5's

Saphir St. Louis in Supreme 5′s and a Supreme Tiger Varsity jacket

A friend of mine is going through a rough patch, the end of a relationship where she forgot about herself. This is something I’m all-too familiar with, and even though I’ve done a lot of self work I still find myself in a self-love rut from time to time. If you’re in a state where you’re finding it really hard to focus on yourself due to change and totally feeling overwhelmed and you need a place to start, here are some thoughts that might help get things moving in a positive and hopeful direction. It’s really hard sometimes, it’s a process, and it’s easy to get hung up on the idea that there is something wrong with you if it doesn’t get better overnight, in one week or even a month. First, be patient with yourself, understand you’re not alone, and most of all, you’re worth the energy it takes to find that spark again. There are honestly like a million things when it comes to learning to love yourself. Forgiving yourself is one of them, not putting so much pressure on yourself is another, but sometimes just getting back to the now and this specific moment can show you the good you do have and helps put things back in perspective. Learning to be mindful can really help push things in a more positive direction. A simple exercise I’ve adopted is to write in 5′s. Write out 5 things (or more!) that you’re proud of yourself for or that you love about yourself. This can be small, like you’re proud you managed to get out of bed and take a walk (for some, that’s a huge step and I’m proud of you too!) or it can be something bigger like passing that last exam. It could be you love your hair cut, or you love your freckles. Write out 5 goals you want to accomplish, whether they’re long term that may take a couple years or mini-milestones that could be done this afternoon. If you just got out a relationship where you were dependent on the other person, make sure at least 3 of those goals are ones you can do on your own, like taking a trip somewhere, finishing school or learning to make the perfect mac n’ cheese. Finally, bring yourself into this exact moment. If your mind starts to race forward again to the things you want to do, that’s okay, but for a moment we want to look at what you have this second. Write at least 5 things you’re grateful for or that make you happy in this moment. This one can be really hard if you’re feeling really down or hopeless, but I promise, if you look you will see so many beautiful things the Universe wants to share with you. They could be simple like the warm sun or sparkling snow, or big like you have the best mum in the world who just wants to love you.

These things are generally small actions of mindfulness, but if you try to do this practice every day (if you can!) they will start to shift your focus into a more positive place. Be patient with yourself, see how much love the universe has for you and allow that to help motivate you, even if it’s just a little bit.