The year my life changed
So real life stuff here. I fostered my cousin’s two sons for nearly 9 months last year alongside my fiance, starting in Dec. of 2017. They were removed from home d/t drug related issues. They were 7 weeks and 2 years old at the time. It was challenging and really tested our relationship, but we made it work. Josh stayed home full time with them and I worked (I am an RN and usually make significantly more). Of course we fell in love with them and they were a joy to have around. In August of last year, Josh faced some health issues, so they were placed with my grandmother while he got hip surgery done and set up with an insulin pump for his type one diabetes. In November, my cousin had her third son whom they let stay with her in the inpatient facility. In December of 2018, the older two boys were placed with her as well. After a year, they were all back with their mother and all seemed well. That is, until last week. I got word that she tested positive in the inpatient facility. She is adamant she did not use and is stating that it must have been false or someone planted something to make it look that way. Now my thought, is why would someone intentionally screw up your process, knowing you are caring for your 3 children at the same time. I do not know what to think or believe, but I know that CPS took them from her again. The oldest is 3 and has always been extremely attached to mom and constantly wants to be near her. It was extremely traumatic this time and they are currently in a group foster home where he is most likely not getting the attention he needs at this time. At this point, I can no longer concern myself with the feelings of their parents and can only think about how these 3 boys have been through the most. The second child was so young, that he does not even have a relationship with mom. He is actually obsessed with Josh and will follow him around like a shadow when visiting. Now here is the kicker. In order for them to be placed with us for fostering again, we will have to agree to a plan of permanency. The SW was stating that court would most likely terminate parental rights within the next 6 months. Oh and did I mention I am pregnant and having my baby in May? And it is a BOY! We will go from a family of 2, to a family of 5 then 6. We talked and believe it is something we are being called to do. Neither of us can shake the feeling that we are meant to take these boys in and help ensure they live a great life. I know it will be very hard. I know it will be stressful. I know it will challenge me in ways I did not think possible. BUT, I also know it will be extremely rewarding, beautiful, and absolutely life changing. We both love children and wanted a few of our own, but the fact that this keeps coming back to us, I do not think we can turn away. There are other options, other grandparents that may struggle doing it alone. The state wants all 3 boys to stay together, so no matter what, it will be a challenge. The only thing we have going is the fact that we have already had a relationship with the older two boys and the youngest is <3 months old. So what I am saying is, I am not just gonna be a new mama to my baby boy Ezra is May, but I may also be a mother to three more boys under 4. That makes the total 4 under 4. I know there are other people who have done it, so if you are out there, please give me all the advice. I am used to caring for little girls too, so I am still a bit clueless about little boys. I am so excited for this journey and I would appreciate any support you have to offer. Oh AND we are getting married in April. This year is going to be insane. Lets hope its the good kind <3
