#47m

(⚠️TW SA⚠️)

For a bit of context, I (18F) go to a youth group at a local church. I'd consider myself agnostic, but I go to church because of familial and social pressure. I do like some of the people there though, and in all honestly they're pretty much the only thing making it bearable. I was recently SAed by a boyfriend (now ex). It's been alot to deal with honestly, and it's caused my depression to get worse. I'm going to begin going to counseling for it soon, though. I've talked to my youth pastor, Dan (47M), a bit about it. Even if I don't fully agree with his views, I generally consider him a positive adult figure/mentor in certain situations. A couple days ago I decided to talk to him about it, mainly just looking for advice and/or support. I'm not sure why I decided to, since I knew that his advice would probably be religion based, but I still did. He basically said that because it has been bothering me so much and it's making my depression worse that means I'm "letting the devil win". Dan said I shouldn't "let it consume me", and that I don't need to develop a "victim mentality". According to him I am already letting it "take over me". He said it seemed like I was "regressing in my faith" since it happened. Like dude, that's just anxiety and depression. He also implyed that God let it happen for a reason, and that I should try to find some joy in it. I was upset and angry in the moment, but I didn't say anything to him about it since I didnt want to be rude. It also feels like he has a tendency to downplay things like mental health and the SA other times I've talked to him about it. AIO for being upset about this?

(Edit for typos)

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (95% confidence)

Top comment: “NOR - he is blinkered and out of his depth. I would leave him in his lane and look for professional counselors who share your belief system but will take trauma and recovery seriously. Google Christian Trauma Counseling for your area to find more balanced and knowledgeable help.”

Notable explanation: “NOR. As an atheist and therefore fellow secular person, I think what he said is sort of a reasonable attempt at understanding and encouraging you \*\*in his dialect\*\*, but you don't speak that dialect and therefore it comes off as terrible and rude –– and that is a valid way for you to receive it! You are under no obligation to automatically understand his dialect, it's on him to make himself clear to you. As a teenager I absolutely hated the way my youth pastor spoke to me, it felt like it was constantly invalidating pretty much no matter what concern I had to discuss.

I'm 30yo now and I have some Christian friends in my life and I think I've gotten better at understanding what they're trying to say and seeing the attempts at real honest encouragement underneath. Here is my translation of the Christianspeak into what it's actually supposed to meant to them, in case it helps (but this doesn't mean your reaction isn't valid):

"letting the devil win" – to them this means letting the forces of All Things Not Good in This World win. So he's trying to agree with you that it sounds like your depression is getting worse. I personally if I were Christian would've said something like "the challenge here is to not let the devil win" rather than phrasing it that you're already losing. But what he probably wants you to hear, in his dialect, is that he perceives that the situation you're in is genuinely difficult, and that getting out of it is genuinely difficult.

"\[shouldn't\] let it consume me" and "take over me" – this means the same in christian as it does in secular; can't really help here

"victim mentality" – he's not trying to diminish or victim-blame you here, but rather point to how painful it is to feel like you are not in control of your life. Basically, it is possible to, with time, adopt a judo stance where you acknowledge that you were wronged by your ex, that what he did was unacceptable, and that you are a powerful person in control of your life from here on out – that he cannot hurt you anymore. I have been hurt before and this has helped me move onward and not feel like I had been damaged by someone who had hurt me. By getting trapped in the rut of focusing on the feeling of hurt, it can sometimes make it harder to move on to getting out of the rut and taking back our power. It does take time, however, and can't be rushed. Feeling the victim part is part of the process and it's okay for you to stay there as long as you need. It's part of how we remember that what happened to us was not ok, and part of how we vow to ourselves not to let it happen again.

"regressing in my faith" – to the best Christians I know, the feeling of "faith" is a pointer at some deep feeling that Things Are Going To Be Okay In The End, and I've found myself that I need that pointer in order to make it through when times are tough. Faith isn't supposed to be something that's a competition which you're winning or losing at, but unfortunately a ton of Christians do try to make it that way and it's one of the 1,000 things that turned me off of the religion when I was younger.

Anyways yeah you're not overreacting, it's kind of obnoxious to be stuck in a conversation with someone who isn't reading your body language about how it's landing with you, and translations or no translation, that's on THEM to be a better counselor (if that's what they want to be to you), it's not on you.

Happy to answer any questions if any of this sounded dumb or off base. I'm a domestic violence survivor now living happily with my new husband and baby. Life is long, and the future you will look back on this and be proud of you for ALL of the challenges you made it through to get her to where she is, annoying youth group experiences included :)”

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Mango Market place exploiter documents to keep $47M bounty payment

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Mango Markets’ exploiter Avraham Eisenberg has motioned the court to make it possible for him to retain the disputed $47 million as portion of his bounty payment settlement with the protocol.

Pursuing the $114 million Mango Markets’ hack on Oct. 11, 2022, Avraham Eisenberg reached an settlement with the protocol to return up to $67 million and keep the remaining as a bounty.

Having said that, Mango Labs moved to file a motion against Eisenberg, alleging that the settlement settlement was reached “under duress,” as a result invalid and unenforceable.

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Eisenberg did his portion and qualified Mango marketplaces members been given reimbursement from the Mango Markets treasury, the attorneys said.

Also, the attorneys argued that Eisenberg’s action experienced no “irreparable harm” as it took Mango Labs around a few months just before looking for a refund.

The attorneys claimed that Mango Labs was having gain of ongoing investigations by U.S. authorities to change back again on the settlement settlement.

Eisenberg is at the moment experiencing fees from the U.S. Securities and Trade Fee (SEC) and the Commodity Futures Investing Commission (CFTC).

Journalist at CryptoSlate

Christian is a crypto-curious nerd who enjoys to look into how protocols perform less than the hood. Christian is intrigued in DeFi protocol investigation, token economics, and on-chain analytics.

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