#432017

A beautiful soul.

Perhaps tormented. Not to a serious degree, but there was much I never gave myself to chance to unlock within him. How beautiful it would have been to fully know him. As it saddens me that I made a hasty decision to flee, how delighted I am to have known such a wonderful creature.

I still have a longing to reach out to him, to hold him, and to know him, to indulge in various affections with him. I regret how I miscommunicated my urge to be physical. IIt was less of a physical urge or a need and more of a need to feel wanted and reassured. I realize now that it was silly.

Talented. He was incredibly talented. Refined. I reveled in his talents when I was fortunate enough to hear him play, and even to hear his goofy singing.

For all that I have experienced, I do not believe I regret a single thing.

To derive pain from a self-perceived failure is asinine. It doesn’t make a lick of sense to wallow in self-pity and fan the flames that burn in light of my agony simply for the fact that I have lost. I must not mourn the loss, but revel in the love.

One day my purpose will flourish, and although I cannot see or experience it in its flesh, I know that it is simply in the budding process. One day, I will bloom.

How beautiful it is that I have had the fortune of loving so many, or so few. How beautiful it is to love and also to lose. Loss is a process of cleansing. Revitalized is a relevant term. Fresh.