#3tp

Chapter 7: Talk

Luca knew he had to talk to the both of you. He just wasn't entirely sure how, even with how close all of you were. Not usually one for self-doubt, he was unsure how to navigate the unfamiliar feelings, the foreign concepts that he might lose face in front of either of you, that you would think lesser of him, or—the very worst thought in his opinion—that you would be hurt by his actions and thoughts, however involuntary they had been. 

  His idea, which he hoped later wouldn't seem too conniving or premeditated, was to perhaps lower the temperature of the room where you met. Cozied up with blankets, biscuits, and fresh tea, if he had another… episode…he could hide its evidence with blankets. The idea offered perhaps one small win amongst his myriad of worries. 

  And, if the worst happened, if either or both of you were appalled and repelled, then… 

  Luca sighed to himself, rearranging the biscuits on the tray as though bringing order to the little treats would bring order to his mind. If I lose them, then maybe… maybe our love wasn't as strong as I thought. 

  This thought was strangely uplifting in a way; he did love you both. And you both loved him. So maybe…it would be okay. 

  Yes, he was stupendously nervous. But he just had to try to have faith in what he felt was true. 

  The knock at the door and your voice floating through the room—”Luca! We're here!”—brought him out of his reverie. He tightened at the waist the heavy robe he wore as he moved to greet you. 

  You stood a little ways ahead of Kaito at the door, smiling but rubbing your hands together for warmth. “Geez, Luca, trying something new in here?” you remarked with a shiver. “Some sort of cold training?” 

  “Mm. Something like that,” he answered in soft tones. His amethyst eyes traveled to Kaito, who stood with his hands in his coat pockets, a rather subdued and slightly distracted look on his freckled face. Despite his own apprehensions, Luca couldn't help extending his concern. “Kaito? You okay?” 

  Kaito blinked a few times, as though he had just realized where he was. “Hm? Yeah, yeah, I'm okay,” he chimed noncommittedly before puffing out his cheeks in an exhale. “Seriously, though, you can see your breath in here! Did your furnace break?” 

  Luca smiled in return, unable to help his thought of how cute both of you looked with your cheeks just a little flush from the cold. “No. I chose to make it cool. I'll explain over tea.” He gestured towards where he had settled the low table and the blankets, where the homey scene of tea and sweets beckoned. 

  Luca let you politely cross in front of him first. You gave him a curious look but also a short peck on the cheek before taking your seat. Kaito started the way you had come, and similarly leaned in, yet hesitated at the last moment before he would've also left a quick kiss. Luca tilted his head, slightly puzzled by this action, but then decided to kiss Kaito gently on the lips instead. 

  The kiss was brief, but Kaito blushed, staring for a moment in uncharacteristic quiet before taking a seat alongside you. 

  You helped the shorter of the two ghouls wrap up in some of the proffered blankets and snuggle up to you, while Luca passed out teacups and began to pour the tea with a serene smile. “I'm sorry that I haven't been up to coming out of my room for a little bit,” Luca confessed, adding sugar and cream to your cups as everyone liked it (Kaito's had too much sugar in Luca's opinion, but he knew of the blond's sweet tooth all too well). 

  “You don't have to apologize for resting,” you argued softly. You lifted the teacup and cradled it, letting its warmth seep into your fingertips. “And I do feel a little bad, that maybe you got sick on my account.” You raised one hand calmly to block Luca's objection before it could escape his mouth. “I know you don't blame me! But it's hard to help feeling a little bad about it.” 

  Luca sighed in acceptance of your reply, sitting down on his knees, posture ever-perfect even though his heart was racing. “I have a confession to make,” he said slowly. His violet eyes drifted downward, catching the faintest image of his reflection in the tea, shimmering in waves of steam. “I wasn't exactly… sick.” Gloved hands tightened and released on either side of the teacup and saucer on the tabletop as he searched for the right words. “I needed… to think.” 

  A whimper from Kaito made both of you look up towards him. The freckled man held a position similar to Luca's, though his face was much more flushed. When he realized the noise had escaped his throat, that you had both turned to look at him, the blush only deepened. “Uh…” he murmured. “This isn't… I mean, you…” As his teal eyes finally managed to peel up from the table, you and Luca both realized Kaito had tears threatening to fall. “...Are you mad?” 

  Instinctively, you and Luca each moved a hand to rest over one of Kaito's comfortingly. 

  “No, not at all—” 

“Kaito—”

  “I mean maybe you were wondering if it was really worth all the trouble to have me along, since I'm always having to take remedials and—” Kaito's tempo quickly accelerated, his eyes clenching shut as his anxieties spilled out. 

  “That's not—” 

  “—since all I could offer last time was a lame study date cuz I can't seem to get my grades up but I mean I could, I could apply myself more, you're always saying and maybe I fucked up somewhere—” 

  “Kaito!” You grabbed your babbling partner by the collar and stopped his words with a steady, strong kiss, while Luca squeezed his hand comfortingly. Kaito panted as you parted from the kiss, looking back and forth from you to Luca with startled awe. “No one's mad at you,” you soothed, then looked askance at Luca. “....Right?” 

  Luca nodded reassuringly, giving Kaito's hand another squeeze. “Right. I'm not mad at either of you. I… I love you.” 

  The tension seemed to slough off Kaito in one fell swoop, and you laughed—not cruelly—as you wrapped one arm and more blanket around his shoulders. “See? Love is still there,” you promised. 

  Kaito swallowed, seeming to gain some meager semblance of composure. “Right. Ok. So… you're not breaking up with me? Or… with us?” 

  Luca shook his head and sighed as he sat back on his heels again. “Absolutely not.” 

  Keeping one arm around your nervous partner, you mussed up his hair and kissed his temple. “You're ridiculous sometimes, Kaito. Just so you know,” you teased. 

  Kaito blushed but appeared soothed. “Yeah. I know.” He looked back at Luca, expression softening. “So… Luca, what…. what is it then?” 

  Luca froze with both pairs of eyes trained on him. How had he planned to explain this? Did he… still have to? He realized now, in this quiet moment, that since he had decided to have this conversation, a fantasy hadn't invincibly plagued him. Had the situation somehow resolved itself? 

  “Eh? Luca? Luca, you in there?” Kaito snapped fingers in front of Luca's face, and the ombre-haired ghoul blinked back into the present, unsure of how much time had passed, though it certainly wasn't more than a couple seconds. 

  When the less-vacant look returned to Luca's face, you reached for one of his hands. “Luca? What did you want to talk about?” 

  No. If he didn't have this conversation, he might always be nervous that the fantasies would interrupt his everyday again, and even if they didn't, he'd inevitably end up pushing away from the two people he cared about most while living in the fear. 

  He thought of when he had somehow taken relief from your absence, how that feeling also filled him with a profound sadness. He dreaded feeling that way ever again. 

  Better just… bite the bullet. 

  Luca cleared his throat again, mentally chided himself for using said gesture to further stall, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. 

  “I would like to have sex.”

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