Aug 7
How I didn't realise Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms is actually just late 3rd Life 3lrau!Scar until now is beyond me
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How I didn't realise Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms is actually just late 3rd Life 3lrau!Scar until now is beyond me
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So I did a bit of word vomiting and now 3LRAU!Grian is essentially my specific font of "gifted kid burnout syndrome" where he's working so hard to be independent and responsible because he's convinced himself that he's not worth caring about because he's not good enough so he just has to work harder so that he can earn care (it's not true, it's never been true, the Watchers simply don't show affection in a way he recognizes, more work & increased responsibility are a reward go them when to Grian it feels like he's never doing enough for them)
Pink in the Night by Mitski is so Double Life Grian coded to me (especially in 3lrau ofc as it's my au lol)
Ok so Third Life is Grian's first project with the Watchers. He's just come out of Evo and he's running these games. I'm unsure if the players know they're games -> if they do maybe the Evo players don't recognize them as the work of the Watchers? (I need to finish multiple POV's of Evo before deciding what their relationship to the Watchers is and if they'd willingly enter a world created by them lol, we'll see)
Grian is not taking things seriously because Evo was fun and nothing he did had serious consequences and this is his game after all so why take it seriously? It's just fun at the end of the day. Maybe the tragedy of Third Life is that it robs Grian of his innocence. He made this game, but inexperienced as he is it doesn't turn out right and there's unintended suffering because of it. It's poorly thought out and drags on, there's a lack of resources, maybe his code isn't quite right so there's no actual difference in mental state between lives, maybe the players didn't know what they signed up for (did they sign up? were they told the premise?). This is all so much more real than anything Grian could have imagined.
He accidentally blows up Scar, and knowing how precious lives are, he pledges his first to him in return. He connects with Scar more than he thought he would. They become friends, Grian *cares* about him. He's worried and guilty because it's his fault the game is so painful and he's trying his best to protect Scar, but it's hard and why isn't Scar acting any different? Why is the change in lives not affecting him? He's red, he shouldn't be parading around with a bee on a lead and trying to steal BigB's cookie, he should be consumed by bloodlust and trying to kill people. Why isn't Grian's code working? This is his first project, he can't be failing already. He has to get this back on track so he tries as best he can to steer Scar in the direction he should be recklessly barreling towards. Then Scar dies on his last life, and it's wrong, wrong, wrong. Not yet. Not like this. Grian can't lose him now and be alone in this world full of people he's hurt. So he breaks the rules, breaks through his flimsy code and brings Scar back, changing the timeline just enough so that he avoids Martyn and lives another day.
Now Grian's code is flimsy at best, maybe altering Martyn's actions is too much for him to fully patch and now Martyn knows something is wrong, or begins to realize it slowly (bleeding into Last Life and his Listener lore), but that's a story for another time.
Grian's changing of the code catches the attention of the Watchers. Their new recruit breaking his own rules in his first game? No this can't be, how will he ever learn to do better? They take a more active interest in the Third Life server from now on and make it known to Grian that they are displeased, his actions will have consequences.