#365daysofjiarn

Have you ever felt alone? Not just with no people around, but honestly alone? Like you had nowhere to go, nowhere to run and nobody to run to? Throughout this blog I will be referencing different times in my life, hoping you find something in there that you could either sympathise or even empathise with.

I first want to say to you that finding a good group of people to hang around with is so important. You need to find a group of friends that you can rely on. You need people in your life who will catch you when you fall and help you to get back on your feet. You don’t ever want to be alone because when you are alone is when you are most vulnerable.

I currently attend a church in Sydney. I am a Christian and during my time at church I have been graced to meet some of the most amazing people in my life. People that will stand by me, help and support me and I pray they know I am there for them the same. I am happy to say that since being at church (I attended my first service on the 6th of November, 2011 and gave my heart to Christ on that very day-although that is for another blog), my life has completely changed. Opportunity has presented itself constantly in different ways. I have no way to completely explain it, though I can say confidently that I will never return to my old ways.

Since attending church, I understand the importance of surrounding yourself with people you can lean on. It is once you place yourself alone that causes vulnerability. As humans we are all vulnerable to our own insecurities, feelings of doubt, lack of self worth. We are all so valuable and important, we are so loved by the people around us and it isn’t until you are within a community of people who love on you that you learn this. You are so important. Nobody has the right to strip that of you, you are worth so much and I can tell you first hand that once you distance yourself, and only when, is when you will doubt, feel this way and disregard your worth.

I can testify first hand. There were dark days growing up, feelings of loneliness filled with insecurity and worthlessness. I had friends, absolutely, but have you ever been so embarrassed of what you hear that you can’t even express emotion to a friend? A parent? I have. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t worth it. It isn’t worth feeling down, devalued or worthless. Sometimes it is hard to express feelings to someone but I’ll tell you right now that the feeling of relief far outweighs the guilt and worthlessness that weighs you down when you keep it in. Let it go, let it out. Speak to someone who loves you, speak to someone who will pray with you, just speak to someone! I challenge you with that. You are never alone.

I remember this one time in high school, it was early in my high school life, maybe 7th or 8th grade and I remember I was being bullied. I’d told my mother and in true mother form she called the school and expressed that I was coming home each and every day saddened, feeling worthless and devalued. I don’t remember anything significant happening to any significant people. Nor do I remember the bullying stopping.

I brought my problems to a specific teacher who had a certain title. Someone who was meant to be a mentor, someone who would help and to listen to our problems, walk through it with us and help with it. Now don’t quote me on this, because I can’t remember the exact words that came from his mouth, but they were along the lines of ‘you just need to stop, get over it’. I’ll be honest, as much as I wanted to show this guy respect, his attitude was wrong. To be a mentor and to tell a student to 'get over it’, something that is grieving at this boy, tearing him apart, 'get over it’ is not the thing to say. It remains in the back of my mind to this day, this 'fond’ memory and I don’t think I will ever forget it.

To continue on in the story, I can’t remember exactly what ended up happening. I remember the bullying never stopped, although I surrounded myself with better people. People that would stand up for me, pick me back up when I was down and told me things I needed to hear. Filled my mind with positive thoughts as opposed to negative lies.

To be honest, I’m surprised that all that I went through in school did not lead to anything further. Far worse things could have happened and I am grateful they didn’t. Scripture says in Genesis 50:20 ’ Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people.’ The people who caused these feelings in meant it to harm me, but God only ever intended it for good. I believe His intention was for me to learn my lesson. I was not a Christian in high school, yet He still had His eye on me. He was looking out for me, surrounding me although I didn’t yet know it. I learnt from this a valuable lesson.

Proverbs 13:20 states that 'whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.’ What I am getting at is that it is so important to surround yourself with good. There will be people in the world that give themselves the title of 'Mr. Good’ or 'Ms. Helper’, but make sure they are who they say they are before you put your trust in them. Don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to distrust everybody however I learnt the hard way that although somebody may be there to 'help’, they may also be there purely for their own gain or for the title.

I am happy to say that I no longer deal with issues of bullying. I learnt to brush it off, take it on the chin and throw it out the door. Whether it is a joke or not, if it is not positive, disregard it. You are so much better than that. You are valued. Take it from me, who has been down that path. You are important, you are significant, you have worth and so much value. Surround yourself with people that love you, that will stand by you, respect you and stick with you through the highs and the lows.

This blog didn’t really cover much of my weight loss journey, however I found it fitting to review some of my early inspiration to lose weight, reasons why I started and still continue to push on towards my goals. We all start somewhere. You too can be changed forever.

Once again, thank you for reading. I challenge you to share this with someone, inspire someone, motivate someone. Make it your goal to lift someone up today. I also challenge you to motivate someone, we all need a positive kick up the bum every now and then. It’ll do wonders!

I love you all, cheers.