#30daysdiary

typical saturday today, i went babysitting, we played with water, had a "picnic" and ate ice cream. it was so hot today i couldn't even process it. my cousin finally hugged me today, yes he's 4 years old but he hates me and him giving me a hug is a huge deal cause he hates hugs. anyways other than that, my sister told me something huge today...i feel so bad for her though, i was in that place once and the fact that she went through it now...it's sad..i'm really tired right now. watching the last song again while typing this. then gonna go to bed. oh and i got hate today so i relapsed yet again...i'm such a weak person...anyways, that’s all for today.

Countdown till summer; 7 days.

countdown till perfect day; 4 days.

much love,

how am i supposed to keep up with this for 30 straight days? i'm so bored and i just wanna get this over with cause honestly it's just boring. as you can see by my entries my days go pretty much the same, boring same old shit. with a bit of fangirling here and there and few sparkles here and there. i got hyper today and i was jumping and dancing everywhere. oh and i finally had a decent conversation with Luke. I have babysitting tomorrow though...not fun. exams next week so i'm gonna be taking a tumblr break. i'm gonna miss everyone so much, but it'll be worth it cause summer is coming finally! anyways, that's all for today.

Countdown till summer; 8 days.

countdown till perfect day; 5 days.

much love,

Day 8-

Not much to say here anyways, had a pretty bad breakdown but couldn't do anything thanks to Luke, gosh he keeps me strong.

Day 9-

Eh not much happened today, fucked up yet again, posted something i shouldn't have but it wasn't about who everyone thought it was, bleh. I watched Mulan just a while ago and not i'm gonna go to bed. excuse for not writing much but this is just getting really boring and useless to me. but yeah.

Countdown till summer; 9 days.

countdown till perfect day; 6 days.

much love,

everyday i do these i ask myself why i'm still going with this, like this is so useless but omg off to start this thing, the couple that i look up to broke up, i am like seriously scared now, what if that happens to luke and me? oh gosh no no no i tear up thinking about that, i hope that doesn't happen, i'd be broken in a billion pieces. i mean they lasted so long, but i have hope in Lina, i hope we go further, i never want to lose luke no matter what happens, i can't imagine my life without him, he keeps me strong, if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be here today. moving on from that, I have accomplished that i have the best bestfriends anyone could ever ask for. without Sylvia and Nessy i Don't know what i'd do, gosh i love them, they are seriously the best, they are like my sisters now, i never wanna lose them. i wish summer would come faster though, ahh 11 days left and 8 days left to meet my heroes. 

that's it for today, goodnight :)

much love,

Day 4- 

Saturday, didn't do nothing much, went down to town and speedway, and also went to a bunch of places, it was fun, i love going downtown. it's great. some bands play down there and people busk there all the time, i wish i could live there. also i read some more of fanfic and that was it for saturday.

Day 5-

Nothing much to say about today really, it's been pretty boring. but at least it's Friday, i spent most of it cuddled up in my blankets with Jason, reading fanfics, oh and i stole Luke's nutella, haha gosh i'm so worried about him, i hope he gets better soon, my poor baby, but i just asdfghjk ahhhh i don't know what to do, i feel bad cause i can't be there for him making him soup and stuff but yeah the distance comes in the way. sucky. tomorrow is finally saturday with no work!!! I'M FREEEEEEEE~ i'm so happy, oh and my friend came over today, she has an audition, i hope she makes it, i'm glad she's going after her dreams, i really. am.

well i'm gonna go read more fanfic and go to bed now :)

Much Love,

I have no idea why i'm still doing this thing, it's like spilling all your secrets to the people online, which is why i don't say everything on here since i've got a creeper that creeps on everything i do. sigh oh god i miss my creeper, i didn't get to talk to him today. I had so much school work on me today. and then there's my parents pressuring me into everything. i sometimes wonder why they even still talk to me. it's like they both hate me and they said it themselves. I don't know why i'm still here. Ness says it's cause my "future fans" are waiting for me. i mean come on everyone knows i'm never going to make it in the music business, i'm not that good. people make a big deal about me singing but there are more people who deserve a chance, not me. i'm not gonna make it, i won't have future fans and i will not get signed, even though it's my biggest dream and i know i shouldn't give up, but let's be real here. a girl like me, just doesn't get that far in life. i'm more like a failure....a shame to the family as my dad would say. anyways, that is all for today. not that much has happened. i'm just glad it's Friday!

Much Love,