#2ddoof

The Normbots dragged her in, lifting her up in the air by the arms with their iron grip. Literally, as they were made of iron … or maybe steel, she wasn’t sure. They dragged her all the way to the Chambers, down in the very last floor of the D.E.I. building in the second dimension. As soon as she got there, Doofenshmirtz, the dictator, turned around to face her with a calm smile; calm, but with an obvious darkness to it. He pulled the gag out of Melinda’s mouth, and spoke in a cordial manner that was very unnerving.

“Mel, what a pleasure to have you here. See, you know something that I want to know. So please, tell me. Where is Melinda?”

He was asking about the Melinda from the second dimension, his ex girlfriend, who had recently gone into hiding after stabbing him. Both of them were Mel’s friends, and she wasn’t about to let that psycho lose on her (equally psychotic) Twin. She looked right at him, smiling sadly.

“I can’t tell you. Doof, you know I can’t tell you!”

He wasn’t phased. “Ah, right. Loyal to the end. Mel, let me make something very clear: you are my friend, and as much as I enjoy torture I don’t want to torture you. But I will. Make no mistake, you will tell me where she is; the choice of how we’ll do it is yours.” He smiled widely, but the smile didn’t reach his eye.

Mel wasn’t intimidated, and said firmly. “I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”

“Very well. ” With a frustrated sigh, he gave the order. “Normbots, strap her in.”

His robots pushed her down on a table, pulling her arms to the side and strapping down her wrists with a metal band. She grunted and tried to fend them off, but there were too many and they were all too strong. They moved to her legs, strapping down her ankles and thighs.  She scoffed, upset, and when she looked up she found Doofenshmirtz looming over her, his smile having become very sinister.

Now she was intimidated. No, she was downright afraid. Friends or not, she knew of Doof’s reputation: he was an expert interrogator and delighted himself with the torture of others; whatever was coming to her, it was not going to be pleasant. But her eyes didn’t betray her fear, and she smirked at him.

“Aw, come on. I thought we were close friends, and you bring me to the infamous chambers? And let me tell you, from all I’ve heard about this place, everything looks quite tame.”

He smirked back at her. “We are close friends, that’s why I won’t do anything permanent to you. Consider yourself luuucky … you’ll be one of the few who walk out of here without any broken bones or major blood loss … most likely.”  It was an openly stated threat, and his smirk was quite foreboding.

“Now, let’s see … “, he continued, grinning madly with anticipation. He didn’t want to hurt her, but it didn’t matter; he was hurting someone, so he was still going to enjoy himself. He pulled out a dagger with a red handle and a  silver ‘D’ carved on it, and eyed it fondly, as if it was a beloved childhood toy. “I think we’ll start with something nice and simple, hm?”

He slid the blade across her stomach, but only so it’d break the skin.  She let out a sharp pained breath and felt the blood soaking her dress.

“Where is Melinda, Mel?”

She laughed bitterly. “What, is that all you got?!”

He sneered, making another cut. “I wouldn’t advise you to push me. Where is she?” Mel winced and shook her head, not saying a word. He relished the chance to hurt her again, and quickly sliced her twice more, both times a little deeper than before; she whined and squeezed her eyes shut, but quickly reopened them  to flash him a cheeky smile and say  ”Darn it, Doof. Now my dress is ruined. You owe me a dress.”

They kept at it for a while, and he made each cut deeper and deeper. She’d grit her teeth and groan, but she refused to scream, and that was maddening to him. Where was the fun in torturing someone if they don’t even scream? Frustrated, he raised the bloody dagger  to her chin, roughly pushing it up. She felt the still-wet blood from it get on her and hissed at him, with a defiant pout.

“Do you think this is a game, Melinda? I have all day, but you are trying my patience. Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?!” He shook her by the shoulders, baring his teeth.

Mel’s green eyes grew wide with fear, and as soon as he picked up on it he grinned widely again, malice dripping from his every word. “It looks like we’re getting on the same page now. Which of my toys will I use next? I’ve always been fond of the whip … it’s a classic for a reason … but hm, that may leave a nasty scar … “

She shuddered but forced herself to glare at him. “I … can’t … say! You and your … silly ‘toys’ won’t get it out of me!”

It took all of his strength not to slap her across the face right there, but he knew that would be crossing a line. Instead, he pressed the blade hard against her cheek and snarled into her ear. “You will break, sooner or later!! Everyone does!!”

Mel flinched and shrank away from him as best as she could, not daring to look him in the eye now. That gave him a moment to recompose, and he started walking away. “I think it’s time to introduce you to one of my many torture-inators.”

She couldn’t see where he’d gone, and that made her very anxious. She tried to take advantage of the alone time to break out of the restraints, but before she had time to get anywhere with it she heard his footsteps approaching again. When he came into her view, he pushing a huge, imposing machine with four tiny wheels. Mel gasped at the sight, and he took that as a sign to start his speech.

“This is probably my favorite of the torture inaaators. I built it myself, naturally. What it does is, it messes with your nerve receptors and makes you feel like you’re being stabbed by a thousand knives, all over your body.” He paused to let the horrifying news sink in, with that same perverse smile etched on his face. “It’s perfectly safe, of course, and no harm will come to you, but … it will be the most excruciating pain you’ve ever experienced. I’ll give you one last chance! Where. is. Melinda?”

Mel shook her head again. His expression darkened, and as he muttered an “as you wish” he plugged in the inator, pointing it right at her. She grit her teeth and closed her eyes, preparing for the torment that was about to come. Without any mercy, he pressed the big purple button.

He was right. It was the most excruciating pain she’d ever experience. All her previous defiance was futile now, for as soon as that beam hit her she cried out in pain, clenching her fists and tugging against the restraints. Her muscles were contracting so wildly that it was a miracle she didn’t break any bones when she thrashed against the metal bands keeping her in that table. Tears were streaming down now and she thought she was going to die. Suddenly the pain stopped all at once, and she gasped and trembled; she could see Doofenshmirtz near her again, his smile more sadistic than ever. He had clearly enjoyed the display.

“Again. Where is Melinda?”

Mel whimpered but still kept quiet, making him press the button again. She yelled and pleaded for him to stop, but he didn’t.

“TELL ME WHERE MELINDA IS!!”

She couldn’t, she couldn’t! She had to be strong! But it was too much … the pain of a thousand knives was more than she could bear. In between sobs she told him the one word she’d always be ashamed of: “Okay.”

He turned off the inator and stepped to her, leaning against the table with a smug smirk and a hand on his hip.

“Well? Where is she?”

“P-please … just stop … l-let me go … “, she whimpered.

“Where.  Is.  She.”, he insisted, the smirk twisting into a scowl.

Mel shut her eyes again, taking a deep breath; she was too embarrassed to face him. Her confession was a mere whisper. “That house in the first dimension that she bought about a year ago.”

Doofenshmirtz grinned, pleased with himself. “Thank you. I told you you’d break. Don’t feel bad, everyone does … I’m just that evil. ” He snapped his fingers and motioned to the Normbots to release her. As soon as they did, she struggled to get up and started to walk away. She wasn’t thinking about where she was going, she just had to get out of the Chambers. Doofenshmirtz tried to help her steady herself, but she just spat out an insult. “Do NOT touch me! You’re unbelievable, Doof. Just unbelievable.”

Not very insulted, he shrugged and opened a dimensional portal so she could get home. She left without saying another word, glaring daggers at him and wincing with every step. The last thing he saw before closing the portal was the obscene gesture she’d made at him.

It was six in the morning and Melinda was sound asleep, all tucked in under three blankets, until the ringing of a phone pierced through the quiet night. She felt Heinz stirring next to her, and mumbled “Just let it go to voicemail … “

He was more than happy to comply. The noise stopped soon, and Mel sighed happily and adjusted her body so she was more comfortable. And then it started again. She frowned, hoping it would stop again. It did, but not for long. Whoever was calling was very insistent. She groaned and lazily opened her eyes. Heinz rolled over on his side to face her, eyelids drooping and hair all disheveled. “Rock paper scissor?”, he asked with a yawn. Mel nodded, and watched as his fingers formed the shape of a peace sign, while she held her open palm out. He smirked, satisfied, and fell flat on his pillow again, while she moaned and dragged herself off her warm, comfortable bed. So, so comfortable. She made her way to the living room, mentally thinking of all the possible ways to torture the person on the other side of the line.

“Hello?” Her voice was still croaked from being awakened in the middle of the night.

“Mel? Finally! Do you knooow how long I’ve been calling for?!”, the Doofenshmirtz of the second dimension sounded mildly irritated.

“Doof?” She was instantly alert. He must’ve been in some sort of trouble to call so late. Or early, depending on how you look at things. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, but I need you to come to my dimension. I’m in my room.”, he said rather flatly.

“….Now? Do you even know what time it is? If you’re fine, can’t it wait?”, she whined.

His reply came as an angry hiss. “Melinda, I’m the Emperor and I demaaand that come right now!”

Royalty. She forgot they had a huge sense of entitlement all the time. “What, I don’t even get a ‘please’, huh?” She would have been amused if it wasn’t six in the morning. Nothing amused her at six in the morning.

“No”,  Mel could practically hear the smirk in his tone. “But I do need you to come, it’s a … biiit of an emergency.”

She sighed. “Fine … if it’s an emergency.” She hung up and opened a portal to his building, deciding it was better to keep her pajamas on than waste time changing. He sounded okay, but maybe it was a real emergency.

Mel made her way through the corridors until she found the tall, thick wooden doors that she knew would lead into his room, carved with the letter D. They were really fit for an emperor. She pushed them open, announcing herself. “Alright, I’m here. What’s the big emerg- “

She stopped short, not prepared for the scene displayed in front of her.

Doofenshmirtz was laying on his bed, shirtless. His arms were stretched out, with each wrist handcuffed to a different side of the headboard. His eyepatch was slightly crooked and he was smiling calmly, not looking very bothered at all. Thankfully he’d been able to use his legs to pull some covers over the lower half of his body, so Mel didn’t have to see anything she shouldn’t.

Truth be told, he was embarrassed by it. It was a very undignified situation for an Emperor to be caught in! He expected Mel to blush, or maybe play it cool, but he didn’t expect her to burst out laughing the way she did. He narrowed his one eye. “Oh, har har har, very funny, Mel.”

She was trying her best to be serious, but she couldn’t stop herself! She was laughing so hard she was tearing up, but  somehow managed to blurt out: “What … happened … to you?”

” … I was with Melinda … “

“Hooo, I figured as much!”, she interrupted, finally getting a hold on her laughter. He was referring, of course, to the other Melinda, from the second dimension.

“She got angry when I called her ‘doll’. You know how she can be. And she, well, she left me here.”

Mel had to give him some credit. He was being very collected and nonchalant about the whole thing. “Seriously, you have to stop calling her that! And I’m assuming you want me to uncuff you. Where are the keys?”

This time, he seemed slightly embarrassed when he answered, and grimaced. “She took them.”

“Bahahahah, of course she did! Alright, don’t worry, I’m a professional thief. I can open any kind of handcuffs, just give me a second.” She walked to his nightstand, looking for anything pointy. Once she found something satisfying, she approached the bed and started working on the first handcuff. “Why didn’t  you ask your Normbots to do this? Seriously, it’s six in the morning.”

He sneered. “It’s a delicate job, the hand of a NormBot wouldn’t be well suited for it.”

Mel nodded, freeing his left hand. She could see how that was true. He let his arm drop to his side while she moved to work on the other handcuff. “How about Karl, or anyone that works for you? Wait, let me guess … you didn’t want them to see this!”, she smirked.

He shot her a deadly glare, but agreed. “Yeees, this is undignified! No one that resides in my Empire can know about it!”

Melinda  laughed and finished forcing the second handcuff open. He sat upright, rubbing his wrists. “Thank you, Mel.”

“Anytime!”, she said, snickering a bit, while opening a new portal back to her dimension.

“Mel?” he stopped her, scowling. “If you tell a soul about this, I will shoot you. Understood?”

She gave a confirming nod and a grin, and stepped back to her dimension. As soon as she closed the portal, she muttered to herself.

“I hope he knows ‘a soul’ doesn’t include Gabbi, Annie or Heinz … “