So, I got rejected the other day. It was by a guy Iāve liked for a while now. But Ā I donāt know what that rejection did to me, because I honestly havenāt been feeling right these past few days...
If you actually read past that garbage I wrote up there. Kudos. I didnāt think youād give a shit. But Iām here to write again because writing lengthy blog posts usually makes be feel better when Iām down. Usually my stories are dumb and really repetitive. But bro itās youāre own damn fault for clicking that read more.
Anyway.
Yeah, I got rejected by a guy. It wasnāt so much a rejection since I already knew what was gonna happen. Honestly, when you KNOW someone has some down low girlfriend, what do YOU think is gonna happen? That romance movie bullshit where they realize their true feelings for you, drop that other person and live happily ever after? HA! Big load of bullshit if Iāve ever seen one. No he had someone. My drunk ass decided to tell him anyway.Ā
But what really pissed me off wasnāt that he KNEW I liked him and didnāt do jack shit to stop me. No what pisses me off was that my cousin told him I liked him THREE FUCKING MONTHS AGO. This shit head who only met him that day decided it would be a cool idea to just tell him I liked him. Nah man, Iām still seething about that. I NEVER confess to guys. So the one time I finally do, this jackass apparently took that fucking moment away from me. SO THANKS JACKASS.
But thatās one story. Itās actually my most recent story too since it only happened last friday. Hereās another story.
About few months ago, I decided I wanted to be a comic book writer. I canāt draw for shit. But I love comics and I LOVE writing stories. Later on, I noticed how much money I actually spend on art and decided fuck it man, I can do this with enough practice. So I took up art.Ā
Iāve also been having shit luck with the job market lately. Maybe itās their fault, maybe itās my fault. People keep telling me I shouldnāt be picky with jobs. But Iām allowed to have a say in the places I apply to, because Iāll be the one stuck going there to work (for god knows how long) not them. Seriously, just because you know what a chef does, doesnāt mean you can easily judge my choices. When you hear labor horror stories about a certain property, would YOU want to work there? No right? So maybe I am being picky about refusing to apply there. But I do that because applying there isnāt a done deal anyway, and once youāve heard of a property treating their employees like shit, what would you do???
So while I wait for a good job offer to either call me back or appear in the want ads, Iām just at home. Obviously because of that, Iām given a lot of shit for not doing anything. But what am I gonna do??? Go out and meet people? With that money????????????
And the only time I decide, okay Iāll take art classes or something. Thereās a big N O there because it wonāt make me money. Apparently if I want to do something it has to be something I could make money off of eventually.
Man...god Iām tired of life.
I know all these problems would pass in time. I always get support from my family about it. But theyāre the ones judging me about it as well.
I get both theĀ āyour time will comeā speech from the same person who gives me theĀ āyouāre not trying hard enough to find a jobā speech and now I donāt know who I can talk to about my problems.
Iāve been crying for days now and itās only about 80% because I was rejected by a guy, and 20% about the fact that I give so much for my friends and my family. But I get nothing back when I need them the most.
I donāt know, tumblr. Maybe Iām just PMSing again...but Iām just so tired.
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Another year, another post where I basically call myself fucked up and blame everyone.
Calling 2016 a roller coaster would probably be the understatement of the year. At first I enjoyed that wholeĀ ā2016 is a shit yearā trend. But honestly, the more I looked back at it. The more I realized, yeah, this year plenty of horrid to me.
So letās start with something basic. Hello Kitty. Ah yes, that will forever be a thorn in my side. But I do honestly believe that, even though I had my wrongs with that company, so did they. Understand that when I was told to plan the menu and run the kitchen, I will do everything I was trained to do. But the company had their own faults. They cut costs and thought that as long as you hire someone who worked abroad, youād be golden. I do believe in the wholeĀ āyou will have to deal with many people and you have no control over themā. But these people, they wanted puppets. They wanted slaves and people they could lord their rank (that didnāt even exist mind you) over. They didnāt introduce us to the company at all, didnāt listen to any of our ideas, brushed us off and locked us in a room for 9 hours a day with nothing. Not even a proper kitchen, and they expected perfection as a result. Those were horrible working conditions. I stayed because I already started it and I refused to give up, and being let go because they thought outsourcing their food was a better idea, felt like heaven.
But, of course, it came with a price. They let me go over a lie. They said my probation would end in 2 months. I was there for 4, and still usedĀ āend of probationā as an excuse to let me go. I have proof. Just because they didnāt give me a copy of my contract (which is illegal apparently) doesnāt mean I wonāt make a copy for myself. I HAVE a copy. But I was happy to get out of there.
BUT because I was let go, I was owed severance which, UNTIL TODAY, I have not revived. They cited missing money as a reason, but we gave them all out receipts and everything left over. But they didnāt bother to follow up and when the person who was in charge of us left, they didnāt bother to settle it. Iām stilled owed 11k pesos in severance. But those cheapskates will abuse that excuse till they day they die. I am a firm believer in karma, and I just hope that one day, 11k wouldnāt even be an issue,because karma would make that 11k look like nothing compared to what it gives back.Ā
Ā They didnāt know a damn thing about what they were planning and talking about, and only did it for the money.
Understand, in hospitality, if youāre only in it for the money, you will fail.
They based it off the Hello Kitty in Hong Kong. Iāve been there, and people arenāt exactly lining up to go there either. Iām just... Iām happy that place isnāt doing so peachy either. Theyāre losing money by half assing everything. So yes, Iām putting karma in charge of that. Maybe someday Iāll wake up to news of a roach or something. God if only I was that lucky...
Next was my second job at my good friendās cafe. He was a REALLY GOOD FRIEND of mine. I enjoyed working there even though it was a small cafe and I honestly didnāt feel welcomed by anyone. But hereās where it all started to hurt. I was let go because they were cutting costs. They didnāt lessen my hours or try other budget cuts, my friend just flat out let me go because itād be cheaper, because Iām just a thing that could easily be let go. It wasnāt even because of performance, it was JUST because of money. He asked if we were cool, and I lied. But I havenāt talked to him since. How could I? Does he really think I could forgive him for something like that? I was there 3 WEEKS. They couldnāt even let me finish the month. But Iāll have to deal with that stain in my resume, and unemployment AGAIN, only because it would be easier on his wallet. How on earth would everything BE OKAY after something like that??? Itās soul crushing! I would have been happier knowing my performance was terrible. That mean I could improve or something. But just...knowing it was only because of money made me feel like an object. Not a friend, an object.Ā
Yeah, havenāt talked to him since. But Iām sure me completely ignoring his messages is enough for him to get it. Itāll take time. But that shit still hurts.
So now I ended 2016 unemployed. Iām not unhappy about it. Frustrated, sure. But I know thereās something out there for me. I just need to find it.
Next on the list. Well, Yoshi died this year. It happened a little after I got let go from job no.2, so it was a really sharp blow to my already broken state. Yoshi was a present from my dad and it hurt that for the first time ever, I just sat there and watched her die. There was nothing I could have done to save her. But the most fucked up part was my dad actually came to a dream and told me he was going to take her soon. It was an odd dream about cars and weddings and lengua and tmnt. Everything in that dream happened during that weak, so once I saw the signs, I knew my dog was dying.
It was tough because I watched her, and I had already come to grips with the fact that I was going to put her down the next day. But she didnāt make last the night. She probably knew I couldnāt let her die like that, on some metal table away from home. Her death devastated me in ways I couldnāt even begin to describe. But a few months later, my mom got me Toki. She is an extremely major handful, but sheās still my new baby. Mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told her I wanted a dog. I didnāt asked for one right away because Iāve seen how my aunt handles a rebound dog and I didnāt want that. It didnāt feel right to get a dog solely to replace the one that died. I waited and then asked for a puppy.Ā
Now before we bitch about me not getting a rescue, I have a very territorial senior dog. I would have loved a rescue but Iāve been to PAWS and they donāt have a lot of puppies. My senior dog HATED Yoshi because I got her when she was already an adult, and we were sure getting a younger one would be an easier transition, and it is.
Also, I dreamed of having a great dane so people can just fuck off about it.
Anyway, Toki is the biggest handful ever. Sheās hyper and makes me go crazy more times than Iād care to admit. But she makes my days just a little less gloomy, and Iād take teething bites and house training over gloomy days any day. She just...she needs time. Time people are too impatient to understand because apparently everyoneās a dog trainer now. But whatever. Sheās my dog.Ā
And I guess last part of the bad news is my pretty much dead relationship with my dadās side. Oh yeah, thatās a story.
My cousin ran away this year and that freaked out pretty much everyone. Dude, no one wants a suicidal relative. He wasnāt, but after going missing for 24 hours, you can never really tell. So aunt told everyone to take him out and make him feel better.
My cousin from my dadās side came to visit so I planned a trip to this historical island. I invited my two good friends because I knew they could add color to the group and make it feel more interesting than just another family outing. But then I remembered that cousin from dadās side really liked broing out with my cousins so I invited him.
So momās side cousin is cousin 1. Dadās side cousin is cousin 2.
It was all going well and dandy. I got the tickets, everyone was going to pay me on the day. It was all set. But then cousin 2 realized he canāt come because he had a family xmas party. He asked if I could find a replacement, but it was on a weekday, I couldnāt just invite people, they had work. But I did try.
Suddenly, I was told they had invited cousin 3 without even asking me. It was my trip, and I had my reasons for inviting people. So having a random invite to MY trip wasnāt exactly an easy fix. I asked cousin 3 if she was cool with the situation. I invited cousin 2 because I know his history with cousin 1, and I know she isnāt as close with cousin 1 so it might get awkward FOR. HER.
She even told me she actually didnāt want to go, and was only forced because our aunt had that spare ticket. Remember, SHE SAID SHE WANāT INTERESTED TO BEGIN WITH. Suddenly I get my sister on my ass about how I was telling cousin 3 that her being there would make it awkward. WHEN, AGAIN, I JUST TOLD HER THE SITUATION, AND IF SHE WAS COOL WITH IT, THEN THERE WE GO. But goooooooooood forbid, it was probably lost in translation somewhere and everyone went stupid. I asked cousin 3 if she told my sister, she said no. So clearly it was my aunt talking shit. I know she doesnāt want to pay for that ticket because her son wasnāt going, so she was moving heaven and hell to not do it. So anyway, I joked that I could lie that she was sick if she really didnāt want to come, because we leave the house as 530am and she sounded like she didnāt want to wake up, because she mentioned again that she didnāt want to come, because I BELIEVED that she honestly didnāt want to come and I didnāt want to put her in some awkward situation.
theeeeeeen comes my sister, on my ass again, about telling cousin 3 sheāll make this awkward. She then told me cousin 3 was actually sending her screenshots and man I went ballistic. In my 23 years of life, I donāt scream. I donāt talk back and I take shit because I didnāt want drama. But after 23 years of taking shit from people who donāt even have business giving me shit, I decided Iām not taking shit anymore, and I snapped. I donāt care how many more times I snap, when it doesnāt concern you, you donāt ever give me shit. I may be the youngest but god damn, Iām doing being a fucking punching bag.
My sister wanted to side with my cousin? Fine. Then she could be her sister. I donāt care. I will still love her as my sister, but that doesnāt mean I have to care. Iām just done.
As for my cousin. Out of all my cousins on this side of the family, I had trusted her the most. I thought I could open up to her and I did. But no. I donāt care her excuse.I took her off facebook, I blocked her, I took her out of my life. Whatās the point when the trust is gone? She may have problems in life, well so do I. That doesnāt mean I should forgive her like that. Fuck it, she can go to her best friend and have her deal with her shit. Iām done.
Iām done with my dadās side. That amount of bullshit and drama was why I didnāt want to bother in the first place. But man, fuck it. Fuck all of them. Iām just done. Thereās no use stressing out on all that bullshit anymore.
Oh, cherry on top, all that bullshit and in the end cousin 3 wasnāt even allowed to go. Really, I call bullshit on her only finding out at 2am that she couldnāt come. BULL. SHIT. She said she didnāt want drama then goes and starts all that shit? Yeah, I hope sheās happy about that. I hope it brought her the joy she wanted because why not? Thatās all sheās getting from me. Also aunty no pay? Guess what? She didnāt pay for the ticket. It wasnāt my fault her son said yes and couldnāt go. If anything, she said go ahead and buy the ticket. My mom was right, I should have just taken the money the moment she offered to pay. Itās just so bullshit that they refused to pay when itās their fault, not mine. My mother said charge it to expereince, but what kind of bullshit relative refuses to pay when whatever way you look at it, ITāS THEIR FAULT. God, life lesson: never deal with rich people. Especially the cheap spoiled ones. Itās just not worth it, man.
But enough about that, Iām tired of that. It was still a fantastic trip.
At some point in the year, I did question if I was, in fact, mentally handicap. But self diagnosing is stupid, and I donāt need that kind of issues. Iām find the way I am and if, in fact, I do have issues, well I have people who have my back so Iām cool.
This year was amazing when it came to friend making. Nikki will always be my chika and Dang and he sister my bebe gurls. But now I have geekgikan, so R2 and Nick. I have Paolo my saber bro. Anj my partner in suffering from hello kitty. Raisaās very strange friends and new APCC pals.
But I do have some...honorable mentions. Mostly because people donāt read this anyway, I know I can actually talk mega shit here.
So...okay.
I had a huge HUGE crush on Paolo. Why not? Heās sweet, charming, an amazing guy...and he has a girlfriend. I know right? Thatās gone. I actually stopped talking to him for a bit because it just bugged me too much. But...idk, Iāll deal with it eventually.
I also had/have(?) a crush on Gelo, my friend. See, that oneās just a super big issue because as sweet as he is, you can take one look at that guy and know nothingās gonna happen there. Itās true man, nothing is gonna happen there. Itās a fun crush, but thatās all itās ever gonna be and Iām okay with that. If anything, Iām kinda happier to have him as a friend and than get my hopes up like I did with...yeah yāall know him from that crush I had once upon a time.
Honestly, Iām kinda over crushes at this point. I dunno, I want a boyfriend but Iād rather just have areally stable, dependable dude friends who are just as there for me as my many MANY girl _ friends are. I honestly donāt have that.
Effects of going to an all girls school, donāt put your daughters through it
Anyway, I know my future guy is out there. People tell me I need to do more and put out more. But honestly? I just wanna be me. Why bother changing when this is enough? Ā Iām in no rush to fall in love. Iām 23, the fuck am I worried about? Iām just happier being me and, you know, making my life a bit more stable before I start worrying about love.
Okay so back to honorable mentions.
There is a guy...his name is Kyle. Man, I donāt know the situation there, heās just a super mega god damn sweet heart. But in reality, Iāve only ever seen him in person twice. Iāve only ever talked to him once, and that conversation lasted....abooooout three words, and that was because I was being introduced to him.Ā
R2: This is Anna, she Ā got me drunk
Me: HAHAHA yeah....
Thatās it. THATāS ALL I REMEMBER SAYING TO HIM EVER. Tho, I do remember calling out his name because I saw him at a convention. I was excited for him because he was cosplaying Reyes from OW and I wanted to see it. But that was all I could say because by the time I got to see him, someone had called him for an OW cosplayers group shot and I had to go. So...
But man, on my birthday he sends me 2 drawings. For new year he sent me two more, and he GOT ME A STEAM GAME. OKAY. NOT EVEN MY CLOSEST AS BALLS FRIENDS BUY ME STEAM GAMES. so...like, man, heās so sweet. Weāve never hung out ever but MAN HEāS JUST SO SWEET;;;;;;;; HOW DO YOU EVEN??? GOD;;;;;;;;;;;
So yeah, thatās Kyle.
If course, I donāt think I would have survived this year without Nikki. You know youāre doing friendship right when people just assume you guys are a gay couple. SERIOUSLY, MY RELATIVES THINK IāM GAY AND IāM JUST DYING. I try to tell them no Iām straight but they donāt want to believe me. So whatever, Iām really not. But itās still good to know I have a really good dependable best friend who make people think Iām gay LMAO.
Other mentions this year, I took up archery. I didnāt want to celebrate my birthday because I felt no one gave enough of a shit about me to come, so I went alone to archery and celebrated on my own. Now Iām saving up to buy my own bow and arrows and making it my sport. I love it.
Also, I started drawing and painting. Itās just, I spend so much on fan art when, in reality, I could just make myself for free with enough practice. I mean, itās never too late right? Itās actually pretty calming too.
Near the end of 2016, I learned this new sayingĀ āTalked your fears one at a timeā and I intend on taking that to 2017. I donāt need to fully understand myself and have everything together at 23. Iām fine taking my time, and really. I just hope 2017 is kinder.
Itās never too late, guys. Just slow down and enjoy what you got now.
Words cannot even begin to describe how infuriated I am with my family at the moment. But writing tends to calm me down, so Iām going to try.
I donāt know how to drive. This has been one of the most irritating topics that I have to deal with, next to my health and me being unemployed. I donāt know, and Iām not ready to know.
I donāt know how to drive because it has been my one most sore spot since my dad died. Yes, I have maaajor daddy issues. He was the car guy in the family, and I always went with him on drives, car shows, TR6 huntings. That was our thing. Learning to drive was supposed to be our fucking thing. But that never happened. Iām sure people would say Iām using it as an excuse, then fine, itās an excuse. But I would give anything, ANYTHING, to have my dad again. ANYTHING.
Fast forward to about 20 minutes ago.
We were driving home from a restaurant and a cat ran in front of the car. Now what would be anyoneās initial reaction to that? Because mine was to screamĀ ācat!ā. We avoided it, thank god. But of course what followed was being told off that what I did was wrong. Fine, I was wrong for startling the driver. Of course thatās a generally bad idea and I get that. But what was I supposed to do? Keep quiet and let the cat die? Who would be okay with that????
Iām not mad because I was told off. No, Iām mad because they told meĀ āOh well, if the cat dies then it diesā. Followed byĀ ālearn how to drive and youāll knowā, then the wholeĀ āOh you should learn how to driveā spiel.
Now, what part of that phrase would make me want to learn how to fucking drive? The part where killing animals is okay? Or the part where learning how to drive makes it okay to just run over animals?
Seriously, fucking tell me because, right now, the only thing stopping me is not being able to get over losing my dad. But now? Fuck man, accidental animal slaughter being okay isnāt exactly pulling me to the other direction now is it?
God...I understand what I did was wrong. But just...who the fuck says killing an animal is okay???
Let me tell you. I know bus line stories of how the companies tell them that if they hit someone, go back and finish the job because itās easier to pay for a funeral than hospital bills. I know trying to avoid something may lead to an accident. God, I fucking know all of this. But just...killing is bad. No matter what reason it is, human or animal, itās just not okay.
And of all people, when you hear it from your own mother that letting something die is okay. I just canāt bring myself to understand that she could say something like that just to prove a point and tell me learning how to drive has itās merits...
My dad would never say anything like that. Ever.
Iām so hurt right now guys...itās stupid but god it hurts.
Donāt you just hate when people get all high and mighty?
I got a puppy recently. Sheās currently two months old and doesnāt quite have control of her bladder. Of course she doesnāt. Sheās TWO MONTHS OLD FOR FUCK SAKE.
Potty training isnāt like it could be done in a week. People keep talking to me like I donāt try. Well these people keep forgetting that our other dog did the exact same thing when she was younger, and how long did that taken to break?? Not to mention, when our other dog was younger NO ONE tried to do anything.
Same people who donāt help out either. Fine, my dog my responsibility. But instead of stopping the puppy when sheās about to do something bad. They just sit there and watch her do it. Then just leave it there for either the maid or me to clean when I wake up.
Thanks for the help then. I pick up her shit, and I have to take shit for it too. Thanks.
Iām 22, turning 23 next month. I have been told many times that Iām not supposed to have life completely figured out at this age, and I truly believe that. I live my life the only way I know how, one step at a time, and I have told myself time and time again that it will all get better, because I am only 22 and everything doesnāt happen immediately.
I lost my second official job the other day. Official because I have had previous jobs in the past but I honestly donāt think a student employee and internship at a cafe in the US counts as actual jobs. They count as work experience but on a resume, it probably wonāt count for shit because I did it for school.
I worked for my school for four years to pay tuition. I did events, I worked for the concierge, the library, the kitchens and even IT and admissions. For my last semester, I got paid more than Iāll ever make in my first two actual jobs. But it definitely wonāt count.Ā
I worked for a rising star chef in San Francisco. I made great friend and learned new things. But it was an unpaid internship so, again, not worth shit.
I kept repeating over and over that it was probably me. But it canāt be me. My previous job was at a cafe that was just starting up. My good friend from college owned it and I wanted to work there because of experience AND convenience. It was a 20 min walk from my place. But three weeks in, business wasnāt doing good and I was let go due to over staffing. I understood though, business was business, and after my first and only paycheck, they probably looked at the money they were about to give me and realized they didnāt need to lose that amount of money in the first place, because they staff that they had before me was enough.
My friend would never lie to me, or sugar coat anything. He told me I wasnāt doing good the first week and I was thankful for it. I improved myself and did what I was told. But I assume it just wasnāt enough. Three weeks of trying just wasnāt enough.Ā
But what really stung was what happened after. Iām not allowed to fail or even just sit back and try to figure out what I wanted to do next. Am I really fit for a kitchen career? Would I try my own business? Or would I try finding a partner and actually writing comics like I originally wanted to do in the first place? I donāt know.Ā
But what I do know is that my mother doesnāt care. She never cared. She never cared what I did with my life as long as I was stable and I was happy. Which I will always love about her. But then she had to point out that this was the second job I lost this year, and that maybe it was me. There was something wrong with me. Then she starts her usual bit of just finding jobs for me. Whatever fits her extremely minimal criteria, because even if she would support me in whatever I choose to do with my life. She would rather be caught dead than see me doing nothing. Even if all she sees is me in front of a computer and nothing else. She doesnāt see me scouring jobs sites left and right for another decent job. She doesnāt see me slamming my head against my desk trying to figure out how to write a decent enough story. No, she sees the computer.
Early today she told me to print out my CV to send to a place that already rejected me. Why? Because my sister has been working there for a while now and so sheās close to HR. A possibly easy job to get for her unemployed daughter right? Except she doesnāt know big hotel chains would mean long hours and no rest. One day off during a week and more hard work than anyone in this family. Itās soul crushing and I honestly donāt think Iām ready for it. So itās not just taking anything, it committing to something I never wanted to begin with. My mother is a vice president at a fairly known company, and my sister is a doctor at selected hotels in the country. They work hard. But they will never understand what kind of life it is for someone who commits to a kitchen.
I want a job and Iām willing to apply anywhere. But why canāt they be on my terms? Why canāt I be allowed to look for a job because Iāve been so tired of jobs that only give me one day off a week, working weekends and ridiculous work hours? But that was kitchen life. That was a life I chose because I wanted to be a chef just as much as I wanted to be a writer.Ā
And now here I am. More lost than Iāve ever been.Ā
Iāve taken a 400 piece candy order just to keep me busy. Iāve agreed to meet with my cousinās friend who needs a pastry supplier for a cafe. Iāve written down countless ideas for both my dream pastry shop and my millions of stories stuck in my head, and now my mother is asking me to send my CV over to a company that has already rejected me in the past.
But right now, right at this very moment, Iām sitting here and typing this up, in tears, because I donāt know what to do with my life anymore, and Iāve realized that no one else can help me through this but me.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
The desiderata is and will always be the only piece of literature that I will ever live by. That passage up there has been my personal belief since 2005, hell probably younger (when did Isgaard rise to fame?). I try hard. I will always believe that the universe has plans for me. One day, someday.
So understand me when I ask, as someone who knows sheās not supposed to have her life completely together at her age. What does one even do when they start feeling this lost?Ā
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Ok, I know this is going to sound like complete bullshut. But most dreams do, and I JUST remembered the one I had last night...or some night ago.
If you know me, you know I have this fairly INSANE obsession with Cynthia from Pokemon. INSANE being the understatement of the century. But, okay, so I had this dream that I was in a room looking outside a window, and suddenly this man passed, stopped and looked right at me, dead in the eye.
Note that this isnāt one of those dreams where Iām cartoonified. This is a dream where the cartoons are turned into straight up, well detailed, real life...people.
I THINK the window was a one way mirror, because I remember feeling scared because he wasnāt supposed to see me. I distinctly remember pointy hair and hollow cheeks and really soulless eyes. It went dark for a bit, I could still feel the eyes on me. And for a split second, I remembered calling him Cyrus.
CYRUS FUCKING HAUNTED ME IN MY DREAMS. WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE WHENEVER I RP CYNTHIA, I HCāD THAT SHEāD HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT HIM.
It starts off in my old highschool. I was walking around with two friends and we were laughing aboutā¦something. For some reason we were all dressed up and there was just some special occasion with the seniors. As usual, everyone was lined up outside the corridor and waiting for the morning ceremony. But I was a senior, and there was a special thing with the seniors. My friends and I kind of stood in one of the empty corridors, and the moment we realized the seniors were getting a special āI am a graduating seniorā sash, we ran back to our classrooms.
Once we got back, I could barely remember my classmatesā faces. But I managed to find my class and thenā¦Piolo Pascual I DONāT KLNOW WHY, came it to take a picture of my class. While the girls were fawning over him, my one classmate Julia. Fairly stupid, attention seeking mother fucker, stole Pioloās camera and took a shit ton of selfies on it, then gave it back to him. We all laughed when we found out the pictures didnāt get saved in the memory card.
Moving on, we suddenly found ourselves in some forest with a lake in the middle. At this point I was just watching, but there was Piolo again, with plastic glue on abs attached to his real ones for some reason??? The girls were fawning over him, including this one weird girl.
But she was hell weird. Quiet ass, weird vibe. Kinda sketchy. We thought she was some mermaid. I donāt remember who told us to check under the water. But Me, a friend, and this guy that I like (letās call him Beaver), decided we wanted to find out as everyone decided to move to the other side of the lake.
But, okay, things are awkward between me and Beaver because he knows I liked him in the past. But Things kind of toned down. A little awkward, but not SUPER bad.
Anyway, I went with them to the other side of the lake. There we saw that chick sitting by the rocks while the other girls talked to her. They were treating her like some highschool popular girl. But while I was under water. I did notice her legs were sticking together into a tail. So I tried getting a picture. But I remembered that the water resistance of my phone was broken.
So I ended up going into the forest with Beaver and my other friend to try and figure out what to do about the mermaid, because apparently, sheās bad news. But that was when we noticed her trying to sweet talk my cousin. Which made us draw a fucking line. We got the help of my cousin, his sister, to try and get rid of her.
Beaver and I swam to where they were. By cousinās sister was there, talking to the two whileā¦sniffing my cousin?
BUT OKAY, THIS IS SCARY BECAUSE THE SNIFFING THING WAS FROM ANOTHER DREAM I HAD.A DREAM WHERE MY COUSIN TOLD ME HER BROTHER HAD A CERTAIN SCENT WHEN HE WAS IN LOVE, AND I DIDNāT REMEMBER THAT DREAM TILL I HAD THIS ONE???????????
Anyhow, that mermaid noticed something in the water, me and Beaver, so my cousin had to improvise and say that we were THOSE TWO BAD GUYS FROM METALOCALYPSE and asking use if we got enough information about the mermaid and if she properly executed the plan to make her fall in love with my cousin. I DONāT KNOW.
Me and Beaver just stuck our hands out of the water and both gave a thumbs up. THEN GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.
Before the scene changed again. It was me and Beaver, sitting near a rocky area, watching the stars and laughing about what happened earlier. He looked at me like he was going to ask something. THEN THE SCENE CHANGED AGAIN.
I woke up and messaged my friend Nikki about me having ANOTHER FUCKING DREAM about Beaver.
Then another scene change. It was Lindsey Stirling, Robbie Amell and someone who looked like silent Bob. But Iām positive it wasnāt him.
They were having Wendyās and laughing. Robbie getting a little too close to Lindsey. Apparently this was a daily thing for them. But later on, Robbie had invited them to his home where they joked around, cooked, and Robbie SERIOUSLY WAS ACTING A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO LINDSEY. For that part, I was Lindseyā¦for some reason. But while they were joking around, there came a voice from the other room. That was when Lindsey came into the realization that OH YEAH ROBBIE IS MARRIED. So she just excuses herself and leaves.
Scene change again to him and Silent Bob at a Wendyās food truck. Wondering where Lindsey is. They buy their food then head over to Lindseyās play to look for her. There she was sulking in bed and stuff. Robbie laid down and tried to spoon her. But she got mad because OH YEAH YOUāRE MARRIED. WHYA RE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS.
She also threatened to jump into the waterā¦because her house was beach side all of a sudden. Robbie tried to talk her out of itā¦but she jumped and I woke up???
I love my family and all. But I just wish theyād understand that I HATE bed sharing with any of them. My mother snores like sheās about to set off an earthquake right into my ear, and my sister has all but nailed into my brain that I should never be within 3 feet from her person. Things have changed now, but after YEARS AND YEARS of that kind of treatment, you donāt really know what to do anymore.
Worst part is, as the youngest, I donāt get a fucking say. I will never get my own bed when we go to hotels. Sister thinks Iām the spoiled one. Yes, I am spoiled But the mother coddles her way more than she would ever do to me. She just doesnāt fucking know. Whenever I get the lucky chance of not having to share the bed, sheād feel bad for my sister. But when I have to be theĀ āextraā they donāt give a shit. Not even a little. For fucking once, I wish my mom would share a fucking bed with my sister. Stick to your other daughter for once. Ā
