#29june2016

I really fucking suck at this getting back into shape thing. I keep making these great plans and then fail to follow them even from the beginning. I just want to be back in Ames already. I do so much better there. I don't know what it is about being here that makes me not do it. Oh wait, I know, it's because working out becomes such a big deal 'oh my gosh, you went running. That's awesome' or stupid shit like that. Or the fact that my mom never has food in the house and she'll ask me what I want but then complain and say no because what I want is a bit more expensive because it's healthy. But she can not only start up smoking again but start smoking so much more than she used to. She used to only do it when she drank, now she does it all the fucking time. She drinks so much more, too. She used to not drink during the week but now does. At least I get some money for top surgery with that. I'm just done being home. I'm ready to leave the house and get an apartment in Ames.