#26.09

SAMSTAG GEDANKEN

Es ist schon 01:00 Uhr in der Früh. Meine Gedanken hier und jetzt sind mit Träumen von einem neuen Lebensabschnitt vermischt und die lassen mich nicht schlafen.

Zweifel und Angst?

Seit einigen Tagen frage ich mich, ob es logisch ist, mit 65 Jahren wieder aktiver und intensiver zu arbeiten und zu versuchen, ein Unternehmen zu führen aber so zu führen, dass dieses Mal keine Verluste, sondern Gewinne bringen würde.

“Du bist schon seit mehreren Jahren in diesem Geschäft”, sagt mir mein Kopf.

"Ja, das stimmt, das ist aber kein Geschäft, das ist eine Existenz".

Ein paar gute Jahre, die keinen Erfolg gebracht haben.

Ich passte von Anfang an nicht in die Situation, in der ich mich befand.

Viele Fehler, die ich bewusst oder unbewusst gemacht habe, die alten Methoden, bestimmte Handlungen zu erzwingen, die mir überhaupt nicht gefallen haben ,ständig unter Druck arbeiten.

Lob und herzliche Botschaften dann, wenn du jemanden in die Gruppe eingeführt hast!!!

Harte Arbeit, einsam, oft kritisiert, aber dennoch geduldig und tüchtig.

Hatte ich damals Angst, diesen Schritt zu machen?

Nein, ich hatte keine Angst, sondern ein riesiges TRAUMA und ein großer Wunsch eine Hilfe zu finden. Die ganze Hilfe, die ich mir geholt habe, hat mir persönlich nicht viel gebracht. Verschiedene Versuche zur Normalität zurückzukehren haben nicht geholfen.

Mir war klar, dass ich mich mit meiner Lebenssituation abfinden muss um das Leben noch zu leben.

Die letzte, persönliche Entscheidung war sehr gut. Bin heute sehr froh und dankbar dafür.

Und, so begann mein Abenteuer mit MLM.

Heute, nach ein paar guten Jahren habe ich eine andere Perspektive, ich habe wieder “meine Flügel bekommen”.

Heute sind meine Gefühle und Emotionen ganz anders, heute weiß ich, dass dahinter Hoffnung auf ein besseres Leben und Hoffnung auf ruhigere Nächte steckt.

Heute sagt mir meine Intuition:

“Diesmal bist du im richtigen Geschäft”.

"Jetzt bist du in guten Händen".

und .....ich vertraue voll

und.... ich weiß, dass ich es schaffe!

The Academy the Magic Tree House series and that one song by Bastille for my enthusiasm this weekend. I definitely had a Pompeii phase when I was like, eight, because of that series, and I had Pompeii playing on loop. 

Where to start? Well, first I’ll start by lamenting the fact that I forgot my camera. I remember my camera lens, mind, but that’s not very useful on its own. Ah, well. Così è la vita. (That’s life)

Our first adventure into the city of Naples involved finding a place to sleep for the night. The hostel we had booked (though fortunately, had not put any money down for) didn’t work out because while we understood we were getting one room they told us it was a charge per person, so the actual price for the weekend would’ve been 3x more than we anticipated. We retreated to a nearby McDonald’s to regroup and find last minute accommodations. What we ended up with was a bed and breakfast only a block away (still close to the train station, a blessing) that was far cheaper than the original hostel would’ve been. The young woman who ran the B&B was very sweet and even though our room was up seven (7) flights of stairs, I am very pleased with how that whole situation worked out. She even let us have a late check out, which allowed us to explore on Sunday without the hinderance of dragging our luggage around.

Saturday was Pompeii day, so we got up bright and early to catch a local train over to the city of ruins. Childhood dreams fulfilled. The city itself was amazing - I am astounded with the organization of the city and how similar it was to any modern city. There were main roads, crosswalks, a sewage system, courts and shops and places of worship. The crosswalks were especially neat in my opinion. Pompeii would clean its streets by occasionally flooding them. The crosswalks were actually raised stones so that citizens could continue walking uninterrupted without getting their sandals wet.

The grooves you see are from chariots. All Roman chariots were regulated, so these stones were perfectly spaced to allow them to pass. This is a 3 lane road.

We wandered around the city for awhile, taking in the spectacular views and the (still active) volcano of Mt. Vesuvius. According to our guide, the two peaks once connected to form one large top that blew off when the volcano erupted in 79AD.

An image of Mt. Vesuvius from the shores of Naples.

After Pompeii, we explored the city of Naples. First, we stopped at the National Archeological Museum, where there were exhibits of artifacts and the stone imprints of the victims from Pompeii. The statues, in particular, were my favorite part of the exhibit. They were so detailed! I must say, the blank eyes are a bit creepy. But apparently the statues were painted with vibrant colors that have long since worn off. Kind of clashes with the white marble image of Ancient Roman culture that I’ve always had, but at least I know they probably had painted eyeballs instead of blank ones scattered around their cities. It’s slightly less creepy. And more colorful.

This is a statue of Octavia, Caesar Agusutus’ sister. And some people think taking selfies is vanity...these people got statues of themselves.

After the museum, we walked along the waterfront. During this walk, we encountered a lovely church, the San Francesco di Paola, and also Castel Nuovo, which looked like it came straight out of a medieval fairytale.

After watching the sunset (and the rise of an astoundingly bright moon), we made our way to Toledo for dinner. The restaurant we went to, recommended by a friend, was called Nennella’s and it was my FAVORITE experience so far of this entire abroad experience. The food was great, the waiters were great, there was music and the members of the family who own the place were dancing with each other amongst the tables. In addition, the food only cost us ten euros for a three course meal. The whole experience, from the restaurant to its location in Toledo (with mopeds and pedestrian alleyways galore) was possibly the most authentic Italian experience I could have ever hoped for. It was wonderful.

Around midnight, after settling back into our hostel, we caught sight of some fireworks outside our window. It was quite a show! Apparently, it’s a weekly event. When asked, “why do you set off fireworks every Saturday?” locals will shrug and say “It’s Saturday” as if that’s the only reason necessary. I guess they really like their weekends. I sure loved it, anyway!

Yesterday I saw the boys at the O2 in London and I can honestly say it was better than WWA. It was one of the best nights of my life. They seemed so happy and confident, so in their element and honestly not bothered by Zayn not being there. They did an amazing job at interacting with the crowd and keeping us on our feet. Yes, I cried the entire time but it was pure happiness and ecstasy.

Niall looked so thrilled as he kept looking around, as if he was thinking to himself “I can’t believe we’ve come this far. This is really happening.” He kept a grin on his cute little face the whole time. Harry’s basically a god, let’s be honest. His hair was just so mmm. He repeatedly shouted/moaned “oh yeah” sending every single girl into fits. Louis kept up the banter and attempted to nipple cripple the other boys. He sang perfectly throughout the night even if he did keep changing, along with Liam. Liam had perfect hair. Seriously, he gave it his all last night and it was so clear.