#23022014

Publicación en la cuenta oficial de Etude House en Facebook.

Very relevant title. I found out today that, the girl who's always been fucking around with me (and my head) doesn't like me at all after all. She was just worried of being alone. I'll be honest, as I always am. I think she rather date my friend who has no interest in her. She keeps saying something along the lines of "I didn't really like my past boyfriends etc etc". And I feel exhausted. Tired from the months and somewhat years of trying for this day of closure. I've done so much but I haven't done shit. As soon as she admitted she didn't like me, the first thought I had was. 

I don't think any girl will like me.

All that being said, maybe when she's a bit less moody and stuff she might like me again, maybe. I don't know.

All I do know is I'll leave her alone for now. No need to try and travel to see her, no need to send her her birthday present. No need to ask if she wants to play some PS3 games. No need to say hello or try to get her attention. She likes me as a friend, and thats awesome really. So do all my other dead-ass friends. 

All I got to stick to is my energy, motivation, determination and goals. I still want to become a mangaka after all. And I've got many years to try to become one. But I got my family trying mend the relationship with my brother as if it'll help. As if I'm not depressed myself. And still I go on everyday just shouldering it off. 

They say you're bound to find someone if you lower your standards and be content. It was a personal law of mine to go for a virgin girl who'd be a wifey. Yet I'm chasing girls who've banged a couple guys around the block and trying to make them wifey, and yet STILL losing. Just how low do I have to sink myself.

I told my classmate beggars cant be choosers.

So my friend has left Korea now.. and wow it has been a long week.

Last night marked my all time record for consecutive nights of drinking. Not proud to say it but I drank 7 days straight :/ but it did happen.. haha

Today was literally just sleeping in until 5pm, and rolling around in bed.

But the week was not as exciting as ‘7 days of straight drinking’ might sound like.

First, it was actually REEALLLLYYYY difficult having a friend stay over for a week in a studio room. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m a pretty messy person too, but I’d like to think that I don’t keep things dirty… I might sound a bit arrogant, but yea.. I don’t mind things not being cleaned up, but when I find the kitchen all greasy with curry everywhere, seeing lots of hair that’s not mine all over the bathroom, and no offense to him but he has really bad BO…. lol. So every time I come home I always had a not so pleasant overwhelming whiff of BO…. And he slept on a sofa bed I have, and now it stinks… lol. I sound like a wee lil bitch now.

Another uncomfortable thing was that, I’m not a very talkative person. Esp at home. For me, home is a place I just become a big fat slob of laziness. But he was very talkative, and he loves his trivial facts. And I for one, am a very unintellectual person haha. He kept talking about IT stuff, politics in America and about this game he plays online. It’s very difficult to even pretend that I care… He also broke my bike too.. I didn’t ask specifically if he was gonna fix it, he hasn’t. He kept saying he is low on money, so couldn’t really ask..

AND PLEASE DO NOT ENTER MY HOME IF YOU HAVE A CATCH PHRASE! lol. Who even has catch phrases in real life?? But he kept on saying ‘BOOM’ after everything. After he comes out of the shower ‘BOOM’. Turns off the light ‘BOOM’ Sits down on the couch ‘BOOM’ When he finishes eating ‘BOOM’ Puts on his shoes ‘BOOM’ UUGHHHHHH!!!!

Enough of ranting.

It wasn’t all that bad though. It was really good to have a friend always available to hang with. I finally got to try some of the restaurants I wanted to try out but was never able to cos I hate going to places by myself. I found a good okonomoyaki place in the building I live in, and finally tried 곱창 which is SUPER delicious.

And he is a super nice dude who did not deserve to be treated like shit when he was in Korea. He genuinely likes to help others. Back in America, his job was to help troubled kids through camps and stuff and he told me he came to Korea thinking he could really help make a difference while teaching, instead his work never gave him the chance to..

So he left on Saturday morning but we went out for his leaving party on Friday night.. haha. So he basically had to come back to my place just to get his stuff and leave straight for the airport while still very VERY drunk hahahaha. I haven’t heard from him since but I think he made it ok? lol.

Then I went out last night in Hongdae with another good friend of mine. He brought along a Korean girl, but got annoyed because he was treating her like shit. Sick of foreigners treating Korean girls like their toys. He told me he was interested in her but he barely ever gave her attention, so I ended up being with her the whole night, since all the others were foreigners…. My friends who know about mystery girl and the other girl are calling me a man slut now… lol. But I can barely ask ppl to hold hands! I’m pretty sure I’m not a man slut.. lol

Anyway, apart from that, my dad came back from NZ yesterday after helping my sister move to Australia, mystery girl just finished her interview with Korean Air, but said it didn’t go well :(