#21things

I have learned quite a lot since I’ve been 21 and thought I’d share with you the various things I’ve learned. 

1) There are some people who listen to answer and not listen to understand.

2) Love yourself although it’s been said and heard countless times, you have to do this for yourself before you can do so for another person. Embrace the flaws that you have and grow to love yourself. The most relationship in life is with yourself.

3) Sometimes what you wanted to achieve in the future doesn’t go as planned and that’s ok.

4) Time heals all. 

5) It is okay to not know what you want. We change our minds constantly that we’re not satisfied with what we’re doing or what path we’re supposed to take and its okay to not know what it is that you want. 

6) You deserve better. We go through heart break and think that we don’t deserve to be loved but we all deserve the best and waiting for what you deserve will truly be worth it.

7) Don’t take it to heart. What someone says about you, does not reflect who you are as a person but rather it reflects who they are as a person. 

8) Take the time necessary to grieve over the loss of a loved one. It still hurts very much to have lost my grandpa since December 27 and life doesn’t just stop there, I will continue to live my life and remember him by living his legacy which is to be kind to others and love one another. 

9) Be mindful. Some people are more sensitive to what others say than you are and words do impact what you say to someone else and once they’re said, they can’t be taken back.

10) Complain less. There are some things that I find myself over and over again about too much homework or how the weather is but in the end, I’ll end up doing my homework and being grateful to have a roof over my head and food to eat. 

11) Read a book. I have neglected reading lately and some of the books I want to read is soon to be released this year and has let me get lost in the world of a good read. Send me some recommendations if you know a good book to read! 

12) Be your own best friend. Be independent and do what makes you happy and enjoy hanging out with friends. You can’t have someone do everything for you so go and do things that you have to do solo and gradually there will be a balance of you being independent and also dependent.

13) What happens in the past, stays in the past. No need to bring up past mistakes and instead, look forward and live in the present and use what you learned in the past to have a better future. 

14) Treat yourself. Buy something after you’ve accomplished getting an A on an exam or better yet get concert tickets that you really want to see with your best friend.

15) Try something new. It can be try something new with eyeshadow or how you dress, play an instrument you’ve never played with, listen to music that you haven’t given a chance, or pick up a new hobby, even try food that you have yet to try. 

16) Take photos whenever you’re out on a new adventure or when it’s the occasion. I have taken some many photos with my Polaroid camera and yet to take more with it, I can’t tell you how many times I look back on the adventures I’ve gone on with friends and family. 

17) It’s okay to be sad. That’s not life if you don’t let yourself cry from what’s been hurting you lately so go ahead and have a good cry. 

18) Heartbreak hurts and it’s not easy, let yourself be sad but also hang out and surround yourself around friends and what you deserve will come when its time. Also, give yourself this time to self reflect from the breakup and what is that you don’t want and would want in the next relationship and also what you have learned from this relationship. 

19) Speak up for yourself. Not many people voice out how they truly feel and then get stuck in a situation where something bad wouldn’t have happened if they had spoken up. If you don’t want or like what’s going on, say it and if they don’t respect that, they’re not worth it and walk away. 

20) Don’t be too hard on yourself. The most harsh critic in life is yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself when something doesn’t go as planned and when things end badly, things happen for a reason and as a result, you learn from it and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again.

21 random things about me

I was born in Birmingham UK.

I failed miserably in learning the guitar.

I have worked and lived in 4 different countries.

I don’t like potholing.

I once drove my secondhand Citroen from Plymouth UK to Sevastopol in the Crimea.

I played rugby for Weston-Super-Mare in my youth.

I have climbed all three of Britain’s mountains.

I was a 30-year plus vegetarian until China.

I once, quite by mistake, bought £200’s worth of speed from Bristol Hell’s Angels.

I drove a 3-ton blue ex-army truck from Johannesburg to the Kazungula Ferry in Botswana.

I fired an AK47 on full auto in Ukraine.

I have never been arrested.

I still wear a Crombie overcoat, Ben Sherman shirts and Doc Marten shoes.

I surf, but I was unimpressed with Bondi Beach.

I downsized. All I own is in a cupboard under the stairs in the UK. (The stuff here in China is transitory)

I worked as a tour guide down a slate mine in Cornwall

I once signed the Official Secrets Act (Don’t ask)

My first motorbike was a Triumph Trophy 250

I participated in the anti-poll-tax riot in London.

I don’t own a TV.

Liburan pertama kali itu ke Trans Studio Bandung. Kira2 3 bulan setelah kami berkenalan. Itupun tidak mudah dan hampir batal. 

Entah saat itu aku menawarkan diri mengajak dia bermain kesana, selain karena aku sendiri belum pernah kesana dan juga sekaligus ingin mengenal dia lebih jauh lagi. Mendekati hari H, dia tidak memberi kabar apakah rencana ke Trans Studio jadi atau tidak.

Aku ingat, saat itu H-2 menuju keberangkatan disaat aku yakin rencana itu batal, aku memberanikan diri untuk menanyakan, dan ternyata dia masih tertarik untuk kesana. Bingung, karena aku tidak menyangka jawabannya adalah ‘Ya’. Saat itu aku memutar otak bagaimana supaya rencana ini berjalan mulus, bahkan bolos dari kerjaan pun aku ambil.

Saat itu sangaattt menyenangkan. Hanya ada canda tawa dan kebahagiaan, layaknya anak kecil yang menemukan mainan baru. Saat itu sesaat aku lupa bahwa dia sudah mempunyai ‘seseorang’nya. Saat itu aku tidak ingat bahwa dia adalah orang yang baru aku kenal, yang apabila pada orang lain belum tentu aku lakukan. 

Moment ke Trans Studio akan menjadi salah satu kenangan terindahku bersama dengan dia. Salah satu kenangan yang akan selalu kuingat, bahwa pernah satu hari aku merasa bahagia.

Dia itu entah cuek entah engga peduli. Tapi sikapnya terkadang menjengkelkan ketika cuek nya ini muncul. Tapi itulah dia.

Setelah beberapa saat mengenal, ternyata dia tidak secuek yang aku pikir. Sesungguhnya dia perhatian. Dia ingat akan hal-hal kecil yang pernah diceritakan. Dia teryata memperhatikan.

Mungkin dia hanya tidak bisa dan mampu untuk mengekspresikan perhatiannya itu.