#20240107

Fontana dei Cavalli Marini

she got me some notebooks, a novel i've been meaning to read (ходячий замок), some clothes and other small things. i'm grateful for all of them. my godmother and godfather bought me a book from an author i like! i didn't even know that she released a new book series a few years ago. i haven't even started the other series yet. next year then! this year i would like to read two series (svsss and the x-wing books of star wars).

my exs friend accidentally called me. that scared me so much because i didn't recognize her right away. and it took me a moment to remember why her name seemed familiar. everytime i think back to that time i feel so much sadness and regret. i always try to forgive myself but i don't think i'll ever be able to. i think i will repent my entire life for it.

on a brighter note, i am looking forward to spring. our sofa has a wide back which i can lay on top. i like to do so on sunny days. i pull away the curtains and i lay down on the sofas back and then i take a nap there in the sun. i also open the balcony to feel the light breeze and hear the birds sing. i wish i could share my peace with other people.

oh, and speaking of peace! i made my friend a small gift! a spade amigurumi 🥺💕💞 because i know he likes spades. it took me quite some time to figure it out because there are no proper tutorials. so in a way this was kind of the first project i made myself with my own formula. i also wrote him a letter and id like to include an extra gift for him. he hasn't been doing well lately, i wish i could be there in person for him. i feel really helpless. because in my heart i want to help him so bad. but he's so far and since he rarely expresses his needs i'm often unsure what to do.