#20210101

“Did you drink too much?” he gently asks. “Do you feel nauseous?”

“No. It’s not that. I can’t find my friend,” you blurt out. “She won’t answer my texts, and I thought she would be here, but she’s not.”

“Do you want help? I’ve got pretty good eyes.”

“That would be nice,” you say as you place your champagne flute on the nearest flat surface. “And thank you.”

“No problem. I’m Chan, by the way.”

He smiles and holds his hand out, and you shake it, stifling a giggle at the overly formal gesture at a chaotic party. Oh, he’s really cute. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“What’s your friend look like?”

“She’s got long brown hair and is wearing a gold dress. It’s a really bright one, so you can’t miss it.”

He nods and turns his attention to the growing crowd, and so do you. The two of you are standing shoulder to shoulder now as more people congregate around the countdown clock. The bright numbers flash across the screen, and the chanting increases.

“Five!”

“Do you see her?” you ask Chan.

“Four!”

“Not yet.”

“Three!”

A movement catches your eye, and you see a familiar flashy dress. Nayeon’s weaving in and out of the crowd with New Year’s glasses perched on her nose and her phone in her hand. You sigh in relief and tap Chan’s arm.

“Two!”

You shout over the noise, “I found her!”

“One!”

He looks back at you with genuine happiness. “Nice!”

“Happy New Year!”

Fireworks begin to go off outside, and couples kiss as confetti begins to rain down inside the building. You and Chan notice this at the same time and with nowhere else to look, end up nervously glancing at each other. His smile has not quite faded, and his dimples are still visible. He’s only a few inches away from you, and you could easily close the gap if you want…

“There you are! I’m so sorry, I was just— Oh.” Nayeon, who decided to make her grand appearance then, takes note of the man in front of you and slyly steps back. “I was just gonna get another drink. See you in a bit.”

“Wait, what— Nayeon!”

Your raging blush from before is back. You try to grab her wrist, but she has already disappeared back into the crowd.

“Thanks for helping,” you say, looking to the right of him. “I’m gonna, you know.”

“Yeah. Happy New Year.”

You look back over your shoulder and smile. “Happy New Year.”

After you catch up with Nayeon, she scolds you for not shooting your shot — “You’re cute, he’s cute, and you didn’t even get his number?” — and you pretend to be unbothered by your own decision.

“It’s fine!” you repeat. “I talked to him for a minute.”

“And you could have talked to him for more.” At your sullen face, she sighs and grabs your hand. “Let’s go, yeah? Nothing fun happens after the countdown anyway.”

You follow her to the entrance and wait as Nayeon fiddles with the straps of her heels longer than necessary. You’re about to ask her what’s wrong when someone taps on your shoulder.

It’s Chan.

“Hi,” you say, now knowing what your friend was up to. “Are you leaving too?”

“Yeah. Hey, uh, I know we just met, but do you wanna trade numbers or something?” he hurriedly asks. “You seem pretty cool, and I wished I could have talked to more, but we might not see each other again since we’re apparently both leaving and—”

You cut him off by holding out your phone, and he gladly gives you his. When you look through your contacts later, you notice that he’s saved himself as Chan (New Year’s).

One month of late night texts and a few coffee dates later, you change it to Chan ❤️.

Four.

The New Year’s party is at the same location as last year, so you have less trouble navigating the room. Chan holds your hand as you lead him out onto the terrace where it’s significantly less crowded due to the weather. You have been secretly planning your first New Year’s kiss with Chan since the two of you started dating, and the view of the city at night is the perfect backdrop.

“You can see everything from here,” you sigh as you lean over the glass railing. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“Beautiful,” he answers, looking pointedly at you, making you roll your eyes. He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head in the crook of your neck. “Are you cold?”

You chose to wear a thick sweater and boots for the moment, so you shake your head. “I’m fine. Are you?”

“I’m alright. I’m wearing the coat you got me, so I’m nice and cozy.”

You lean your head against his. You bought him the grid print coat for Christmas since it reminded you of what he wore when you first saw him. Much to your delight, he remembered the detail as well.

“You’re not gonna steal it from me, right?” he teases.

“I’ve only borrowed two of your hoodies!”

Chan says nothing after, just hums and continues holding you. You absentmindedly play with his fingers as you concentrate on the enormous countdown clock projected on the side of a nearby building. Just a few more minutes before midnight. You wonder if Chan can feel your rapidly increasing pulse. His cheek is pressed up against your jugular after all. Perhaps he can and isn’t saying anything now.

More people, mostly couples, come out onto the terrace, no doubt for the same reasons as you. Chan makes an offhand comment about it, and you mumbles something inaudible in acknowledgement. With only fifteen seconds left, you swivel around to face Chan.

He doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“It’s almost time.”

“It is.”

“Did you want to kiss at midnight?” he whispers, placing his forehead on yours.

“Yes.”

“Good. Because I’ve been waiting all year.”

While cries of “Happy New Year!” ring throughout the city and the night sky bursts with color, Chan cups your face and leans in. This isn’t your first kiss with him, but something about it feels different from the others. Maybe it’s the holiday euphoria, but something about it makes you feel like a newly popped bottle of champagne.

You expect something short and sweet, so you’re not prepared when you suddenly feel yourself being dipped. It’s a shallow one, and Chan places one hand at the small of your back to steady you. Nevertheless, you sharply inhale and reach for his arm to grab onto. He pulls away first, smiling at your flusteredness, but still keeps you where you are.

“Happy New Year,” he grins.

“And what a way to start it,” you say, laughing as he helps you stand upright. The feeling of his lips still lingers on yours, and you tilt your chin as if to ask for another. “Happy New Year to you too.”

Chan kisses you again — this one is less passionate and more soft — and strokes your cheek with his thumb. “I think this is my favorite day of the year.”

“Me too.”

Three.

“Is this still your favorite day of the year?” you ask as you place two cups of hot cocoa on the coffee table.

Chan, who is lying down on the couch with an ice pack on his head, sits up a little and reaches for his cup. He precariously balances it on his chest and grins widely at you. “Of course. It’s the day I met you.”

“Less flirting, more recovering.”

He merely sips on his drink, knowing that you like it when he teases you. He moves his legs aside and allows you to sit back to where you originally were before throwing them back over your lap. You don’t mind. His flannel pajama pants are soft and fuzzy, and double as a blanket for you.

The TV is playing the New Year’s Eve special, but neither of you are watching it. Chan is supposed to be resting, but since he insisted on counting down with you, you’re monitoring his temperature and getting snacks from the kitchen. In addition to that, you are far more interested in the pictures of Nayeon's new dog. Chan puts his hot cocoa back on the table and turns his attention back to you.

“What are you looking at?” he asks. He sits up all the way and coos when he sees the pictures. “Aww. We should get a dog.”

“Together?”

“Yeah, why not? You can move in too!”

You place your hand on his forehead to make sure his temperature hasn’t spiked. It’s still cold from the ice pack, but you’re not sure if he’s alright after a proposition like that.

He shies away from your hand. “I’m serious. You’re here so often, you might as well. Isn’t your workplace closer to here than your apartment?”

“Yeah, but moving in is a huge deal. And a dog too?”

“It’s up to you. If you want to move in, just know that I’m down for it.”

He makes good points, and not to mention the money you’ll save on rent. However, you’re still unsure, so you tell him, “I’ll think about it. Can we even get a dog though? There’s not a ‘no pets’ rule here?”

“They don’t have one, which is one of the reasons why I chose this complex.” The TV abruptly jumps in volume as midnight nears, and Chan says, “Oh! Twenty seconds!”

With nothing else better to do, you and Chan count down with the announcer. When it reaches zero, the two of you turn towards each other and exclaim, “Happy New Year!” Instead of a midnight kiss, you receive a midnight hug instead and a suggestion for celebratory pancakes.

You and Chan have celebratory pancakes again two months later when you move in with him. Then you have them again when the two of you adopt Berry from the shelter.

Despite your earlier apprehension about both ideas, you couldn’t be happier.

Two.

You watch from your seat as Berry chases Nayeon’s white Pomeranian around the living room. They run around the coffee table, startling the guests sitting on the couch and nearly knocking the bowl of chips over. Soon, Kkami joins the chaos, and the house is even louder than before as the dogs bark at each other.

“This is way more fun than going out,” Nayeon remarks to you. She reaches for a pizza slice, and you bat her hand away since she said she was going to stop two slices ago. “Last one, I swear.”

“Yeah, sure. Do you think it’s a good party?” It’s your first time ever hosting anything like this, and you spent all weekend agonizing over your decisions. Maybe you went a little overboard with the amount of food you bought, but at least everyone’s not hungry.

“Yeah. Look out how many dogs there are here!”

You smile at the scene in front of you. Chan and Hyunjin are attempting to teach Berry a new trick, and Dahyun is lying on the floor with her own dog on her stomach. She’s giving tips to Chan, who is following them to the letter. Berry, however, is more interested in playing with Kookeu and Kkami.

“What a year for you,” she continues. “You moved in with Chan, got a dog, got a promotion. What else am I missing?”

“I think that’s it. That’s all the big stuff.” You hold up your mug. “To the new year. Hopefully it's as good as this one."

“Cheers.”

The two of you continue to eat and drink as the rest of the house devolves into an even grander cacophony. Someone accidentally increases the volume on the TV, but for some reason, no one turns it back down. When there are only two minutes left until midnight, Jeongyeon pops open another bottle of sparkling cider and refills everyone’s cups.

At thirty seconds, Chan makes his way towards you, Berry following at his heels. “It’s almost time.”

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” Nayeon interrupts as she takes the pizza box with her. She starts chanting along with the TV announcer. “Twenty-five! Twenty-four!”

You lean against Chan’s shoulder. “Can you believe all this started because she ditched me at that party?”

“I thought she said she didn’t ditch you? Or that’s what she told me at least.”

“She left and didn’t come back, which is the same thing. I’m so glad that she did though.”

Chan puts his arms around your waist and touches your forehead with his. His nose bumps against yours. “I’m the cheesy one, not you.”

“Well, it’s my turn,” you giggle. All your friends are counting down now, and you quietly join them. “Five.”

“Four,” says Chan.

“Three.”

“Two.”

You never get to say “one” because Chan’s lips are on yours before you can even open your mouth. You’re momentarily caught off guard, but you return his kiss with equal fervor. Berry, who is confused but still excited by the party, loudly barks and paws at your leg.

“Did you want a kiss too, Berry?” you laugh, picking her up. You give her a smooch on her muzzle, and she licks your face back.

You hold her out towards Chan, and she tries to lick him too. He dodges her attempt once, making her whine, before letting her kiss him the second time.

“Any crazy propositions you’d like to make this year?” you ask Chan as Berry nuzzles your neck. “Both of last year’s came true.”

He pretends to think for a few seconds and shakes his head. “Nothing crazy, but… celebratory pancakes after the party’s over?”

“Yes. Anything else?”

“Nothing I can think of now, but I’ll let you know if I’ve got another one.”

You put Berry back down and watch as she runs back to play with Kkami. “Happy New Year, by the way. I hope next year is just as good.”

“Maybe it’ll be even better.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will.”

One.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.

“Hey! I missed you.”

You sigh in relief, and your grip on your suitcase handle loosens slightly. Just the sound of his voice eases you. “Hey, Chan. I missed you too.”

“How was the flight? How was your trip? Actually, how are you?”

“I’m alright,” you say as you nearly get run over by a man rushing to his gate. “Um, some bad news though. I’m not home yet. My flight got delayed because of the snowstorm here, so I’m not coming home until tomorrow. So, no New Year’s celebration for us this year.” It all comes out in one hurried breath.

“Oh.”

“I’m so sorry. I know we were supposed to go to that party, and I really wish that this stupid snow—”

“No! Don’t worry about it. Are you okay though? You sound a little stressed.”

You sigh and find a spot at the food court with a charging outlet. “I’m just frustrated. Like, who hosts a work thing in the middle of the holidays? And who makes their employees go? It's insane! I get holiday pay at least, but I’d rather be home with you and Berry. How is she, by the way?”

“Here, let me get her.” A minute passes, and you hear Chan cooing to your dog on the other end. “Berry, Y/N wants to talk to you.”

You dejectedly smile. “Hi, Berry. Have you been a good girl? I miss you.”

You hear her whining and barking, and you lightly laugh when Chan yelps at Berry pawing at his phone screen. You rest your head in the palm of your hand. What you would give to be there and not here. The airport sucks in general, but it seems even more depressing on the holidays.

“Berry, what are you— Oh, she just left. How's everything? Is it late over there?” he asks. “It’s ten at night here.”

“8 AM. Not terrible, but it still sucks.”

“Want me to keep you company?”

“Yes, please.”

For the next three hours, you recount the past couple days of your business trip and how nobody really wanted to be there. Chan listens, and you grow more grateful for his unyielding patience with each minute. When you hear him stifle a yawn, you know it’s time to hang up.

“You should sleep,” you tell him. “It’s getting late for you.”

“What are you gonna do then?”

“Eat an overpriced lunch,” you shrug. You bought a cup of coffee and a sandwich some time ago, so you’re feeling a little hungry now. “Maybe take a nap.”

There's a pause, and his reluctance is palpable. “Okay, but call me when you’re about to get on your flight.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

The call ends, and you do as you say and buy a sandwich from one of the cafés. It is indeed overpriced, but you have no other choice. While you wait for your flight time, you scroll through your social media. Chan’s latest post is a picture of Berry in a green sweater, and your heart aches even more. You wrap your — well, it’s technically Chan’s — coat tighter as if you can protect yourself from the loneliness.

After many agonizing hours, the snowstorm subsides. On your way to the gate, you phone Chan, who is just as happy as you are that you’re leaving. During the entire flight, all you can think about is home. The cheesy holiday movie playing only exacerbates those feelings. You should be cuddling with your boyfriend and eating popcorn, not shifting around in your uncomfortable airplane seat and staring out the window.

At long last though, you arrive home. You’re about to text Chan that you’ve landed safely, but you receive messages from him saying that he’s waiting for you in the pick-up area. Your body reacts before your mind. You practically run outside to look for his car and nearly trip over the stairs in the process.

“Y/N! Over here!”

You see his frantically waving hand and rush to it. “Chan!”

He steps out of the car and hugs you as if it’s been four months since he’s last seen you and not four days. His familiar scent is warm and comforting, and you inhale it all. “I missed you,” he says.

“I missed you too. I can’t believe you drove here. It’s 3 AM!”

Chan shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might as well get you from the airport. Let’s go home?”

“Yeah.”

The drive back is comfortably quiet, your hand resting on top of Chan’s on the gearshift as he drives with one hand. There’s smatterings of fireworks overhead, and you’re reminded that it’s the first day of the year.

“Happy New Year,” you say, breaking the silence.

“Happy New Year. It’s been… four years now since we met?”

“Has it really been that long? Wow.” You can still remember the confetti that rained down and the way you wanted to kiss him. You can also vividly remember Nayeon interrupting the moment. “Next year, we should do something big to make up for it. Like… throw a masquerade party or something.”

Chan laughs and nods his head. “Maybe not that, but something big for sure.”

Zero.

The ‘something big’ turns out to be something quite small. So small you can wear it on your finger.

You’re not sure who starts crying first, but you are definitely crying the hardest. You can barely see Chan through your tears, and it takes a lot of effort for you to stifle your sobs in order to hear him.

“It’s been exactly five years since we met here, four years since we had the New Year’s kiss I had been dreaming about after we started dating, three years since I asked you to move in with me and get a dog, two years since I knew I wanted to marry you, and one year since I originally planned to propose to you. We can count our relationship on the number of New Year’s we’ve spent together, so I felt that it was only right that I ask you tonight: will you marry me?”

“Is this real?” you manage to get out. It feels too much like a scene from a movie — the triumphant music playing in celebration, the entire city cheering, your boyfriend kneeling in front of you with a velvet box. “Chan, is this a dream?”

“It’s real, I promise.”

You hold out your left hand to him and say,  “Yes, I will marry you.”

He shakily slips the ring onto your finger, and the newly formed crowd of onlookers applaud. You blush at their congratulatory shouts, embarrassed, but luckily they soon disperse. Chan stands back up and wraps you in a tight embrace.

“What a way to ring the new year,” you whisper, making him laugh. “Speaking of, Happy New Year, fiancé.”

He cups your face and leans in, his eyelashes brushing against your cheek. “Happy New Year to you too, fiancée.”

Then he closes the gap, and your entire world explodes with fireworks.

~ ad.gray