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November 2, 2019 - Day 136
The afternoon light was a beautiful accompaniment to working.
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here’s a surprise from liam from 2018 because i never knew about itÂ
I took an awesome nap today, but now I’m not ready for bed. I haven’t slept that deeply in a long time, it feels. But being alone and awake puts me in a weird headspace sometimes. So I’m thinking about taking a shower because my brain feels kinda gross.
I met up with a guy from FetLife today. He’s pretty new to kink, about two inches shorter than me, three years older, and gives off the impression that he has not experienced a lot of the world, but is really trying to separate himself from what he grew up in. He’s sweet. I look forward to hanging out with him again and hopefully will be able to form a decent friendship. I know he wants to bang, but I dunno if I’m about that with him right now. Just not super feeling it. Cuddles would be awesome though.
I have a dinner/movie date tomorrow with another guy. He’s a cop, 28, works constantly, and is building his own house, mostly by himself. My evaluation of him so far is that he either isn’t a big fan of texting or is just really bland. But he’s nice, respectful, kinky-ish, and hasn’t been at all clingy. He’ll probably end up being fwb material just because I get the feeling we don’t have a ton in common, but our kinks sync up nicely. And because he works all the time, I’m not worried about him randomly calling me up for 2am booty calls or getting annoyed when I’m busy. Nervous about meeting him tomorrow though. I shouldn’t be.
I miss Trevor. *sigh* He wants to meet up in late April before he has to be back in Red Lodge for fire season. There have been promises of weed and lots of cuddles and great sex in the mountains and forests. Hopefully, it won’t be snowy and we can actually maybe do some hiking and stuff.
He was super sweet when I was driving back through Wyoming. I ended up calling him a couple of times because he offered and I was getting anxious with all the snow and stuff. He helped distract me and told me stories and the things he misses about me. I’m afraid I’m catching feels. But, *shrugs* As long as I’m not about to ask him to be in a relationship with me, it’s fine. I think he has some feelings too. And really, I just miss him. When he’s around, I don’t care about putting labels on anything. I don’t even really care about labels now. I still don’t want to be that involved with anyone. I just miss the snuggles and the weird conversations and the company on random adventures. I miss my friend.
