#1jul2020

How are you there in heaven? I know you are good there. Alam ko po na gulat na gulat kayo sa ginagawa kong ito. We never really did this before. Pero sana po pakinggan niyo ako.

Lolo, Daddy is cheating again with some other woman. This is the 3rd time. Pangatlo na po. And still, I’m deeply hurt. I will never be used to the pain. Sobrang sakit pa rin. Sobrang sakit. Lolo, why does daddy keep on repeating this thing? Before, I asked him to stop it and he promised that he will but here I am now, telling you his another love affair. Binali niya iyong pangako niya sa akin. Are we not enough? Hindi ba niya kami love? Kasi kung love niya kami, bakit niya kami sinasaktan?

I don’t know if dahil po sa stress niya ito sa work kaya niya nagagawa ang bagay na ‘to. Kung dahil po doon, I really want to understand. Pero the more na nagsisink in sa akin, the more na nasasaktan ako. Siguro mas grabe yung stress na nararamdaman ni daddy sa work kaysa po sa akin pero kailangan ba talagang umabot sa ganito? Tapos Lolo sabi ni daddy kaya daw po nasa daan kasi makasalanang tao. Nirerecognize nila iyong kasalanang ginagawa nila at hihingi sila ng patawad kay God. Sana marecognize niya po ang kasalanan niya. Sana humingi siya ng patawad kay God. Sana gawin niya ito at itigil niya na po ito.

Lolo, you are the person that I want to talk regarding this matter. You know why? Kasi daddy really looked up to you. He speaks so highly of you. Daddy also mentioned how nice a person you are. So maybe, can you visit him in his dreams? And please tell him to stop. Please wake my father. Baka magising na siya sa katotohanan. Please tell him to stop hurting his children especially mommy. I witnessed the 2nd time and I really don’t want to see my mommy crying again. I don’t want to see her hurting again. To be honest, that is the part of my life that I want to bury. Bakit kailangan pa ulit hukayin? Kaya Lolo, please help me. Please guide Daddy in the right path. Please Lolo, I am begging you. Baka makinig po sa inyo si daddy. Kasi sinabihan ko na siya pero ito na naman. Lolo, I am not asking for a perfect father. All I’m asking is a loyal father who only loves his family. Iyon lang, mahirap po ba iyon?

Lolo, alam niyo na before that everything happened, I dreamed of marrying a man just like daddy in the future. But seeing what is happening in the present, I am starting to put this dream in the past. Sa totoo lang po, napapaisip na ako kung dapat bang tumandang dalaga na lang ako or look for a man who is a total opposite of my daddy.

Love ko po si daddy, Lolo. Pero itong ginagawa niya, nagiging rason ‘to para may mabuong galit. I’m sorry Lolo. I know he is your son and he is my father but still, I am a human being. I feel pain.

I think ito po ang una kong pagkausap sa inyo. I’m sorry for being a bad apo. I hope you know that you are always in my heart. And I really don’t know who I can’t talk to. I should wish to God pero kayo po talaga naisip ko na perfect na pagsabihan nito besides God po.

Thank you Lolo sa pakikinig.

Love,