#180stuck

You finally settled on something semi-biographical, about seadwellers ruling the world. Fun stuff.

Then things started getting a little hot and heavy...

It started like any typical young hate date, with you two arguing over what movie to watch. You had offered several very reasonable choices from among your favorites and she had been a glubbing shitsponge and refused to pick one. On top of that, she had insulted your movies and your taste in them.

Just like you told Serket: swimmingly.

Oh cod, it's the crazy bitch. What does SHE want?

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aaruanGatekeeper [AG] began trolling cerberusGenocide [CG] AG: Soooooooo~~? :::;D Did you take my 8rilli8nt advice?~~^ CG: OH JOY, MY WORLD IS COMPLETE NOW THAT VRISKA SERKET HAS SHOVED HER POINTY SNIFF-NUB INTO MY GLUBBING BUSINESS. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'VE SURVIVED SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU TROLLED ME, EARLIER TONIGHT. TRULY MY LIFE WAS A DARKENED, CRUSHING ABYSS OF HOPELESS MISERY DEVOID OF ALL MEANING WITHOUT YOUR HIDEOUS OCTONARY TYPING QUIRK STABBING AT MY OGLE-STALKS AND SLATHERING MUSTARD INTO THE GAPING WOUNDS. AG: ::::/ You've 8een t8lking to Terezi, hav8n't you~~? CG: NO, ACTUALLY. WHAT DOES PYROPE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? AG: Neeeeeeeevermind!~~^ CG: SURE, I'LL JUST COMPLETELY DISREGARD AND THEN FORGET ABOUT THAT TOTALLY NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS COMMENT. AG: Th8t is defin8ly wh8t you should do now, y8s.~~^ AG: Aaaaaaaanyway! Did you t8ke my advice? Did you?~~^ CG: WHILE I WILL ADMIT THAT YOU ARE CERTAINLY A GLUBBING DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL AND MORE ADEPT AT BEING HATED THAN THE AVERAGE TROLL, I REALLY DON'T THINK I NEED ADVICE ON ROMANCE FROM SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER EVEN HAD ONE QUADRANT FILLED. AG: :::;) Aw, don't te8se.~~^ AG: You're pretty awful yourself, Vantas.~~^ CG: WELL...THANKS, I GUESS. CG: LOOK I DON'T NEED OR WANT YOUR ADVICE, AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NO, I DIDN'T TAKE IT. FEFERI AND I ARE FIN AND SO IS OUR KISMESISITUDE. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, yeah right.~~^ AG: You've 8een clinging desper8ly to your l8me spade for perigrees. AG: If you just took my 8dvice she'd 8e aaaaaaaall over your 8ulge and you wouldn't 8e h8ving trou8les!~~^ CG: WOW, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY I EXPECTED ANYTHING BUT THE CRUDEST OF CONVERSATION FROM YOU. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE THINK LOWBLOODS ARE UNCULTURED MORONS, SERKET. WAY TO REPRESENT YOUR BLOOD CASTE. AG: 8luh 8luh, high8lood hoof8eastshit.~~^ AG: You d8n't know a cull-worthy p8il-le8ving a8out my "8LOOD C8STE", V8ntaaaaaaaas.~~^ AG: Your fucking Hiiiiiiiighness.~~^ CG: OKAY I WAS KIND OF TALKING OUT MY WASTE CHUTE THERE, YOU'RE RIGHT. CG: SORRY. AG: Ooooooooh wh8t's th8t? A hiiiiiiiigh8lood 8pologizing to me? Where 8re my skirts? I need them to curtsyyyyyyyy.~~^ CG: FUCK YOU, SERKET, KNOCK IT OFF. AG: Y8s, sir. S8rry, sir. Should I pow8r your fuck8ng sh8p, sir?~~^ AG: You kn8w, s8 I c8n reeeeeeee8lly repres8nt my 8LOOD C8STE.~~^ CG: VRISKA SERKET, YOU ARE AN INSUFFERABLE BITCH. I'M SORRY, ALREADY, CODDAMN. CG: AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO USE THIS TO GUILT ME INTO TAKING YOUR ADVICE. BECAUSE IT WON'T WORK. CG: YOUR ADVICE IS STUPID AND YOU'RE STUPID. CG: AND PAST ME IS A NOOKSUCKING PAN-FRIED MORON FOR EVEN LISTENING TO IT. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, hoof8eastshit! :::;) You just wouldn't know good rel8ionship advice if it gave you a l8pdance and sucked your 8ulge.~~^ CG: YOU CONTINUOUSLY MEET MY LOW CONVERSATIONAL EXPECTATIONS, SERKET. AG: 8luh. So if you didn't t8ke my 8rilliant advice, how'd it go?~~^ CG: IT CG: IT WENT...SWIMMINGLY. AG: XXXXD Liiiiiiiiar!~~^

Oh what NOW? What's this asshole doing interrupting you in the middle of a perfectly good miserable funk?

No no no no! You don’t want to think about it! You don’t want to have to think about not thinking about it! You just wish it had never happened! So what if you found your ONE TRUE PALE PAL. So what if you will NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT THEM? Your life would be a whole lot better if it had NEVER HAPPENED because then you would have NEVER FUCKED IT UP.

You're one of the lucky few whose OTP is HONEST TO GL'BGOLYB CANON. They are SO PALE FOR EACH OTHER it brings tears to your eyes when no one is looking. Honestly, you can't watch Troll Firefly when other people are around.

You truly believe that TROLL MAL and TROLL ZOE are IRREVOCABLY PALE FOR EACH OTHER. They are SOUL MATES IN EVERY WAY. And in spite of poor planning, bad decisions, and DRAMA IN THEIR OTHER QUADRANTS, they ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER and are together no matter HOW MUCH THE OTHER FUCKS UP.

You hope that one day you too will have a MOIRALLEGIANCE that doesn't end up a TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER. 

Gifts? GIFTS? Only AS MANY CODDAMN LUSII AS HER ROYAL GLUBBING HORRORTERROR CAN EAT! NEVERMIND THE LIVES IT RUINS AND TROLLS IT LEAVES ORPHANED! NEVERMIND THE CRUSHING GUILT IT HEAPS UPON YOUR NUBBY HORNS! NO, GLUB-MOMMY MUST BE FED, BECAUSE OTHERWISE EVERYONE DIES IN AGONY. THE NEEDS OF THE MANY OUTWEIGH THE NEEDS OF THE FEW, TO QUOTE TROLL ARISTOTLE.