#17starbright2

no time was wasted before the girl was already sitting by her computer, searching for inspiration. the first song was picked because it had been stuck in her mind, and the others quickly came along as she thought of what would match the feeling she was trying to give off. she had been doing it for years. momo didn’t only make her own music but also found enjoyment in remixing popular songs together during her free time. they weren’t normally posted because of their short length, but it didn’t mean the talent wasn’t there. one minute. that would be perfect.

december meant it should be cold, but momo didn’t really care. the excitement in her heart sent adrenaline all over her body, filling her veins with warmth. people looked at her weirdly as she walked down the streets holding tightly to the sides of her body with all of her teeth showing in a smile. the nice lady who welcomed her said she could sit if she wanted to, but the girl didn’t have it in her to do it. her audition was only a few steps away, and she wasn’t going to be ready to rest until it was done.

they called her name not after too long. she hopped her way to the room but calmed her legs before going in. it was good to show excitement, but maybe not too much. her feet stopped where the marking told her the center was. like an owl, her head turned to scan the entire room before lowering her head in a bow. katie lee. her face twisted itself while her hair didn’t let them see it before her back was straight again. a dream come true. if katie lee was there then it was something important. she was important.

“hello! my name is hirai momo, i’m twenty years old and originally from kyoto, japan.” her words came out faster than she wanted them to. it was something that happened when she was excited, but once she noticed it the girl tried slowing them down. “i prepared something i edited myself, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it!” please do. her heart and soul had been laid in that 1-minute audio clip and she could only hope they wouldn’t crush them.

with a single head movement, the person in charge of pressing play let the audio start and momo quickly let out a deep breath. she tried making the transitions as smooth as possible, but there were parts she’d need to struggle with her breathing. the rapping, for example, was meant for two people to perform it, but there she was about to do it by herself.

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

빙글빙글 시계의 바늘이 Toc toc Round and round, the hands of the clock, toc toc

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

내 맘은 Up up up My heart goes up up up

it was a recent song, and the part chosen was something that could easily get stuck in your head for days. her main goal wasn’t exactly to make her audition haunt each one of the panel members to their dreams, but if it happened then it’d certainly be a plus! the start set the mood, and she was most certainly going for something on the cute side. maybe what was about to come didn’t exactly fit the bill, but removing the original instrumental from behind the rap and using something softer instead made it fit better.

Pops 내 입안에 녹아 내리는 중 Pops, it’s melting in my mouth, Putting so much in

잔뜩 넣어 내 입안이 녹아 내리는 줄 That it’ll feel like my mouth is melting down

Baby Boy 다른 남자들은 아무것도 몰라 Baby boy, other guys don’t know anything,

You’re so fine해서 안 튀는 옷만 골라 You’re so fine so only wear clothes that don’t make you stand out

Never get me wrong my boo

I have no 관심 in that bag I have no interest in that bag

지루한 월화부터 수목까지 Man I wanna pass From boring Mon-Wed, Thurs Man I wanna pass

날 보는 네 시선에 See some good vibe Your look toward me, I see some good vibes

기분 좋은 느낌이야 It’s a good feeling when

너와 눈이 마주치는 순간 My eyes meet yours

she didn’t have the time to stop in between parts, take a breath, and then continue to the next rap, but momo managed to make it happen. the song was much older than the first one so she had already partially learned the lyrics when it first came out. she had definitely practiced before coming even if there wasn’t much time given, but i wasn’t that big of a challenge to achieve. even if she was in kt she decided to audition with a song from sphere. it probably wasn’t that great of an idea, but once it was settled in her mind the girl couldn't imagine the song any other way. she’z was a very popular girl group so hopefully, they wouldn’t mind it too much.

새로운 세상에 눈을 뜬 거야 I’ve opened my eyes to a new world

널 알게 된 순간 The moment I met you

even if it was only two lines, it was sung softly as if it was the bridge of her short song. she used it to calm it down after the strong rap so the ending could have the impact that she wanted. it would be ideal to showcase all of her singing skills, but if it meant sacrificing a high note for the song to flow better then momo had no shame in doing it. they probably had the tapes of her screaming in the hongdae talent show, anyway - and if they didn’t then a quick search of her name online wouldn’t make it too hard to find.

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

빙글빙글 시계의 바늘이 Toc toc Round and round, the hands of the clock, toc toc

빙글빙글 빙그르 빙그르 Toc toc Round and round, spin, spin, toc toc

내 맘은 Up up up My heart goes up up up

if there’s any word she’d be asked to describe about her piece is that it will be gut-wrenching. she may not look every bit like fantine during her despondent and heartbreaking moment but she would try to embody all the emotions that is needed out of it. it’s her voice, her tears, and her sadness that will fill that practice room the moment she hears the first note of the song she will be singing. 

“hello everyone, i’m kim jisoo.” she bows in greeting the moment she’s settled inside the room. after having watched every episode of the royal survival show, so ji sub’s familiar face greets her and she feels even more compelled to show them exactly what she’s capable of. “i’m thrilled to be here so thank you for giving me the opportunity to show to you exactly what i can do.” she smiles. “for my audition piece, i will be performing i dreamed a dream. it’s a song number from the highly acclaimed musical, les misérables. i hope to show you my acting and singing skills.” leaving it at that, she steps back a little in preparation. 

with a blink and a breath, she’s no longer kim jisoo. as she hears her music play, she’s officially placed herself in fantine’s shoes. 

she looks lost, exhausted, and unsure. tears prick the back of her eyes as she sings a haunting song of suffering and of dreams being lost to the wind. although here she is, her dreams of restarting her korean acting career just on the cusp of beginning. 

she’s performing as if she’s actually on stage in full costume, with props, lighting, and live music. and as if she’s on stage, she’s completely oblivious to her audience. focusing only on the delivery of her emotions and the certainty that she’s singing on pitch. 

she’s performing the part where it gets most heartbreaking and as she does so, she feels so strongly in tune with it. she doesn’t have the most depressing of pasts and reaching for that hallow part within her that can bring about the emotions that her character was feeling is difficult. it is probably the toughest thing she had to do for this audition piece but drama is like second nature to her. portraying tears and broken heartedness are the things that she loves to do the most.

he slept a summer by my side he filled my days with endless wonder he took my childhood in his stride but he was gone when autumn came and still i dream he'll come to me that we will live the years together but there are dreams that cannot be and there are storms we cannot weather

it’s difficult to think much beyond her performance when there is so much desperation and anger with it. so as her tears fall and as her performance reaches heartbreaking realization, she blocks off the sight of her judging panel that she sees through blurry eyes. allowing herself to be taken away in a place that’s different and far from where she really is.

after she finishes, she lets her performance rest for a few seconds. straightening up, she wipes her tears with a handkerchief. she flashes her judges a smile before bowing one last time.

She knew her singing was definitely something she wanted to showcase, but what her second best skill was, well, it was debatable.  She knew it wasn’t her dancing, she was self-aware enough for that, and her rapping, while not as bad as her dancing, was still pretty pedestrian.  She wasn’t about to impress a panel of judges assigned by a legend in hip-hop like Tiger JK with her current skill level. So, that lead her towards something she had enjoyed while in high school, acting.  She knew TRC was highly considered to be one of, if not the most, creatively centered companies out there, so she figured she had to do something creative to show off her stage presence. Obviously, the marriage between singing and acting was a musical, but which one should she prepare a song from?  She only had a week to prepare herself, so she had to come up with something entertaining and quick. 

Going through a few musicals she knew, she considered a few options, but most boiled down to her mostly just belting out her favorite songs and getting distracted from being able to come up with something that would also let her show off a more showy side of her self. Then it hit her.  She had been to a production a few years before that she knew had recently come back to Korea, with SG Wannabe’s Lee Seokhun taking up one of the roles.  It was a comedy, but also a horror, and she knew that theatrically, it would fit what criteria she was setting for herself, but would the judges be into it?  It was really the first thing that had jumped out at her to be “her”, so she decided to go for it, and hope for the best.

She didn’t have a ton of time to get the costume exactly right, she doubted they were one hundred percent going to be focused on that anyway, so she improvised a bit of it.  Trips to a toy store, a used clothes store, and a grocery store nearby and she had piecemealed an outfit and the necessary props she would need.  Some further preparation and she was all set to slip into her role. 

Soon, the day came and she was quite nervous.  There was a handful of other people there for the same audition and she had to wonder if maybe this was a bad idea.  She knew the musical she had chosen wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and she just hoped it didn’t come off as her not being serious about her opportunity, because she certainly was, it was just the source material was supposed to be fun and kind of goofy and overdramatic on purpose. 

Her long coat was covering the outfit she had prepared, and her bag contained the other materials needed, she just hoped that they would allow her to take one moment just to set up.  Hearing her name called, she grabbed her things and headed into the room.  She was told to prepare herself and she thanked them for that, taking off her coat finally showing off her outfit as she dug into her bag, reaching into a small container she had brought, smearing something down her face, being very careful not to drop any on the floor.

Kim Sejeong - Starbright ‘17 Audition callback for TRC: Performing “It’s Time” from Evil Dead: The Musical

Korean Production Video (TW: Blood) |  English Version | Sejeong’s outfit (TW: Blood)

Sejeong’s outfit was a standard girls uniform that she had bought at a local store.  It was smattered with fake blood, which was what she had just applied to her face as well, the excess wiped onto the shirt for added effect.  A toy chainsaw, that looked somewhat “realistic” had been cut in the back for her to be able to slip her hand into for the character Ash’s chainsaw-hand.  Sure, she wasn’t dressed exactly like the character, but it was enough to get the imagery close.

She began on one knee and started the music, the soft piano intro pulling her into the character more as she started singing, putting into it the emotions of someone who had been through a lot, had lost people that were close and was finally recognizing what they had to do to try and make things right.

She slowly made her way up to her feet, giving the words the clarity her normal voice would bring, so they could get a good idea of her capability, though they had seen her in her original audition as well, so they likely knew her normal singing ability, so she made sure to play up the slight bravado that Ash’s character starts getting as he wearily makes his way to his feet, as she did to hers.  Using her acting, she staggered forward slightly to stage right and continued singing until striking her ending pose, the chainsaw hand and her other one up in the air, knowing she couldn’t go into the next verse without going over her one-minute time limit.  She thanked them for their time with her brightest smile and grabbed her things, only then remembering that they were told they were to wait out int the waiting room for results. 

they’ve reached hallway that seems to have been converted to a makeshift waiting area, with several chairs lined up along the wall. the staff member hands nayoung a sheet of paper to pin to her shirt – her own name printed in big letters, so the judges will know who they’re watching when they look back on her video. after gesturing her to what’s apparently an assigned seat, the staff leaves her to sit with the strangers in the hall, all of whom are also wearing their names on their fronts and most of whom look at least as nervous as nayoung feels.

closing her eyes, she begins mouthing the lyrics to her song, focusing hard on that to avoid thinking about anything else, about the others kt is auditioning. after running through the rap several times, she thinks of the song she’ll be dancing to and starts doing the gestures of the dance, though she keeps it small, just reminding herself that she still remembers the choreography.

she doesn’t know how long they wait. she loses count of how many times she silently rehearses, but soon enough the girl in front of her is called in to the room they’re sitting outside, and nayoung’s chest clenches in panic. she’s going second.

when her name is called, nayoung stands up and does her best to ignore the nervous nausea that sweeps over her. she can’t help her trembling as she walks to the door and follows the staff member into the room, where there’s a camera set up next to a long table of judges. nayoung’s eyes scan the table quickly, and her mouth drops open when she instantly recognizes katie lee sitting in the middle. i’m going to dance to a katie lee song in front of katie lee, is her first ridiculous thought.

she bows as she walks to the middle of the room, handing her flash drive with the music to the staff member who showed her in. she feels like her throat’s closed up, and she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to even speak, let alone rap.

“i-i’m–” her voice cracks, and she winces a little before clearing her throat and trying again. “i’m im nayoung. i-i’ll be dancing t-to…” she meets katie lee’s eyes and stops speaking, nerves closing her throat again before she forces the words out. “katie lee’s black,” she says, giving the woman a jerky nod. “then i’ll be rapping to lc9′s dream girl.”

the music starts, and its familiarity settles her slightly. she’s glad that she decided to start with dancing. it’s more familiar, more comfortable, and will hopefully help her nerves settle.

after just a few short notes, nayoung throws herself into the first move, swinging her arms over her head and bending down at her hips. from there, the dance comes easy to her, though she keeps careful counts in her head so that she doesn’t accidentally rush – that’s been her consistent problem in practice.

the dance is more sensual than she usually does, but she likes it. she’s been working on it for a few weeks now, and she’s long since gotten over the embarrassment of the sexier parts of the dance, which were added at sooyoung’s suggestion. the dance technically isn’t anything like contemporary or ballet, but it’s nayoung’s personal style, which combines the smooth gracefulness of those with the modern popping of hip hop. the song is perfect for it, too – with a solid percussion bass under the smooth vocals and consistent acoustics, it’s like the song was meant for her dance.

as if to communicate this, nayoung finds herself meeting eyes with katie lee during the parts of the dance where she’s facing the judges, her eyes ignoring the camera and skipping over the other faces to land on the artist of this song, the ceo of the company nayoung’s trying to get into. in her eyes is a daring kind of charisma that doesn’t show up when she’s speaking, that isn’t there except for when she’s dancing.

she doesn’t have the regular charisma of most idols, doesn’t find it easy to even introduce herself or get through a simple interview. but she’s a performer – it’s this determined, challenging charisma that kept her on the rink for so long, that got her to the junior grand prix twice. this is why she ultimately chose to dance for this audition, because this is what she wants to show kt. this is her true talent.

when she gets to the end of the chorus, she steps up and pops her limbs and head a few times, her ponytail jerking with every dramatic movement of her head. she ends the dance with a hand on the front of her leg, the other extended slightly near her hip. her eyes are still locked with katie lee’s until she breaks the contact, brushing a few loose strands of red hair out of her face and stepping back to the center of the room, trying to catch her breath.

“next i’ll be rapping to lc9′s dream girl,” she says, not giving herself any more time than absolutely necessary to catch her breath. she’ll rap a cappella, not needing the music for this. it would just detract from the focus of her rapping, especially with the high note that covers up the final lines. after licking her lips and taking a deep breath, nayoung begins to rap.

the feeling of seeing your eyes, your lips, you’re so beautiful

she didn’t choose this song because she identified with the lyrics, but because she’s known the rap since shortly after the song was released. she’s loved lc9 for years, and has supported every comeback of theirs since their debut. she was lucky enough to see them in concert in seoul twice since she got into them, and she thinks it’s only appropriate that her first company audition – and for kt, no less – include one of their songs.

the rap lines come easily to her after years of doing them along with the song and under her breath when the song has been stuck in her head, and after the constant practicing of it she’s done in the last few days.

from one to a hundred, i treat you gently the day you chose me is when the world stops you’re my world

when the end of the song comes, nayoung opens her eyes and lowers her hands – she hadn’t even realized she’d closed her eyes, or that she’d been gesturing along with the imaginary beat while she rapped. the room is strangely silent now, lacking the sound of nayoung’s rap filling the room. she doesn’t find it difficult to speak anymore, and her eyes find katie lee’s again as she bows. “thank you for your time,” she says, her voice lacking all the shakiness and nerves from before.

when she straightens, she meets katie lee’s eyes one last time before bowing shallowly again and turning to leave.

it’s amazing what one minute of performing could do – it turned her nervous panic to adrenaline, and nayoung can’t help but smiling to herself as she leaves the room, following the staff’s directions to sit back down on her seat. a kind of giddiness fills her now, after what felt like a successful display of her talents.

jihoon actually thought for a second to maybe try singing again, but the thought was enough to bring flies to his stomach as if something was rotten inside. then he thought he could add a rap to the middle of the song but it’d probably ruin the flow of the performance. he’d dance. that was what he did. he could most certainly find a different song to go with, but his mind didn’t want to do it. the boy didn’t exactly relate to the lyrics or even made the choreography himself, but the strong beats and emotions it managed to bring had gotten him captivated.

he knew more people were invited by royal as well, but no one he knew before. so jihoon had to stand by himself in a corridor while whoever was waiting for him inside could get prepared. he wasn’t sure what all the preparation was for. it wasn’t like they could actually know what he had chosen to show them. all he could do was stare at the door from far away before a soft female voice called him inside. the only person he managed to recognize was so jiseob, and even if he carried enough on him to make the boy glue his eyes as he passed by, there was a significant number of people around him to throw him off.

as awkward as it could be, jihoon stood in silence where they told him to go before realizing he should have already started doing something. “hello. my name is park jihoon, i’m eighteen years old and i’ll be auditioning for royal entertainment today.” it must have been obvious. if he wasn’t there to do so then security would have already taken him outside. still, he gave them a polite bow before forming a shy smile on his lips. reversal charms. it wasn’t something he planned but just something that happened.

once they confirmed he was ready the song started playing, taking over the room. he shook his arms, preparing himself for what he had prepared. there was still a bit of time before he needed to start dancing and he used the opportunity to breathe. a basic human need. it was something the lyrics told him he couldn’t do. he should be suffocating. so he reached for his neck, allowing the choreography to start. his movements had a controlled speed. jihoon liked to think it was because people were trying to stop him from doing it. all the strength he possessed was used in every single movement.

he had originally planned to move his lips along to the lyrics, but it didn’t seem to be possible. he kept gritting his teeth, and scrunching his nose, and taking deep breathes as if he was suffocating. maybe he had just forgotten about it, but jihoon didn’t think so. he sent a vibration up his legs, down his arms and until the end of his fist. and then he opened it. the position continued stable for a while before he allowed his arm to fall back to his side. the boy gave the panel another bow, thanking them for their time. it took a few moments before he was out of the room.

the kind woman explained to him about what he should expect. a call. what they’d say on the line was something she couldn’t disclose. he couldn’t guess either.

for some reason, he had expected a bell to announce his presence, but pharmacies didn’t have those on their door, apparently. the woman looked surprised to see him and jihoon couldn’t exactly blame her for it. “hey, mom.” she had her own room in the back. raising three kids wasn’t easy. “my royal audition was today so i came by.” she managed to look even more surprised, but before she could even try saying something he cut her off. “i know i should have told you. i just didn’t- i… i don’t know why i did that really.”

Of all the things he expected to face on this day, certainly it wasn’t an awkwardness quite on par with this one. It only took a single glance to locate him, and although Jinwoo was at first surprised, he supposed it was always a possibility. He knew he fucked up. Big time. By god did he know. When Minhyuk’s eyes located him as well, he simply froze in his spot, uncertain of what to do; should he put up his usual carefree personality and go over to sit with the other? Pretend like nothing had happened? Or should he apologise for not telling the truth? Unfortunately a decision was made for him, the moment Minhyuk turned away his head, he knew that the other didn’t want him to approach. Despite how nervous he had just been, how the lyrics he had prepared had been filling his mind, how his dance steps were running on repeat within his mind’s theatre, for a second all of that came to a halt, and there was only one thing he could think of: Minjyuk was mad at him. And rightfully so. Jinwoo could do nothing but lower his head and seat himself in a chair some way off his friend, if he even had the right to call himself with such terms anymore.

But now wasn’t the time to think about that. As much as he wanted to simply go over and apologise, say that he had been an idiot, acknowledge that he should have been honest and just said that he went as well, he had no time to think about Minhyuk and no time to worry about the other either. His feet were hurting, his whole body in fact was aching, and he had to put a band-aid on the blister that had formed on his heel after he had invaded the dance school in the past couple of days. But if anything would have to pull this one home, it was his dance. He couldn’t rely on his rap to be anything but the opening course.

When his name was called, Jinwoo couldn’t really tell if his heart stood still or was beating with double its usual pace. It felt as though his awareness had left his body as he stepped through the doors, eyes yet again locking on his dance school friend, but this time purely subconsciously. His body felt stiff as he walked into the middle of the room and faced the crowd, a much larger one than he had anticipated, and a face he knew to be Katie Lee herself. FIrst thing first, he bowed two times, one left and one right, and then a third one straight at the company CEO. If he did this exactly as he had rehearsed, it would be all fine. He had to do this.

“My name is Park Jinwoo,” he introduced himself although they were most certainly already more than aware of his name by now. This time he couldn’t just be dismissed as one application amongst many, barely capable of standing out, because bar himself and Minhyuk he had only noticed four other people seated in or entering the room. But nonetheless it would be outright rude to not face not only his seniors in life, but also people of such a position without even bothering to inform them of his name. “I’m very thankful to have been called in today.” Perhaps a bit stiff and maybe too formal his words were, but they were truly how he felt. Until now he had solely been words, but now it was actually time to show them what he was made of, prove to them why they had made the right decision in picking him for a callback audition.

Was it the right decision? He couldn’t tell for certain, but he had to believe in it for now. The fact that KT Entertainment were known for having more focus on singing over rapping made him question why they had shown interest in someone like him who had explicitly made it clear that he couldn’t sing, as was it extremely nerve wrecking to have the people behind masterful dancers such as LC9 judge him, but he had to believe in them, and first and foremost in himself. “Since I was talking about both my rap and my dance in my interview, those are the two skills I will show you today. My teacher choreographed this dance especially for me over the past couple of months, and I will be showing a bit of it.”

He already knew the fact that it wasn’t his own work would probably count below other more creative dancers, but Jinwoo only really did in freestyle, and he greatly feared that if he went in without a plan, his mind would shut down and he would be standing there without anything to show. This was for the better. Connecting his portable speakers to his phone, he started the mix he had created especially for the occasion, precisely timed one minute with the silent shift he had edited in between the two songs to make the switch seem more natural and give him time to catch his breath again.

As the first few tunes of Nosedive began playing, he let out his voice for the bit he had carefully chosen. If anything, Jinwoo picked the songs he practised from their lyrics, and this small bit was the very part of the song that spoke to him the most. He firmly believed that the best performance was given with lyrics you truly believed in. With how sore his throat had been this morning when he woke up, he felt really confident in how smoothly the words came out. It was a slow beat that he had picked to calm down his nerves before the shift to the much more fast paced dance break took over.

“I don’t wanna break down Should I just endure and disappear? It’s the price of holding it all in”

Pouring his heart into the lyrics, Jinwoo exhaled and let the two second silence take over, keeping his eyes locked on the floor and his body still and relaxed. Shortly after the powerful sounds of Eminem’s voice remixed made their way into the room, and the dancer in him took over with his powerful movements to dominate the room. He was nervous. He was nervous as hell. But when it truly came down to it, it wasn’t the first time he had stood before an audience and a panel that would judge him, far from. Let it be KT or any random dance competition: no matter who, he was going to show them all that Park Jinwoo existed in this time and place.

At this very moment, he was himself, and not just one random individual flowing in the stream of the masses. He existed.

As the beat marked the end of his segment and the speakers went quiet, Jinwoo’s chest rose a couple of times in controlled breathing as he took a moment to gather himself. A dance routine of around 30 seconds was not going to be enough to sent him into disarray no matter how powerful, but he still couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by everything. But as long as he was in here, he couldn’t show his concern and insecurity. With another bow he finished off the segment they had allowed him, one single minute having felt like an eternity while it lasted, but now that it was over, it had passed in nothing but the blink of an eye. Time perception was a scary thing.

A smile widened on his face when he heard his name, his body straightening up to his full height as he inhaled deeply and bowed his head to the staff member who directed him into the room. There was a giddiness fluttering in his stomach when he stood in front of the panel, eyes darting over every face until he saw So Jisub himself. Immediately his eyes crinkled, shyly dipping his head forward and one final time, he told himself that as long as he did his best, everything would work out. 

“Hello! My name is Park. Seung. Jun. It’s exciting to be here today at the Royal Starbright Auditions!” He introduced, bowing forward deeply to the panel and letting his expression fill with the rush of joy that he always had. Hosting had always been fun for him, hyping everyone up as they came up, making his voice that bit cuter; he used to play the game when Sooah was learning and he wanted to make everything more entertaining for her. Both of his hands came together in front of his chest in a small clap, dipping his head forward. “Today, we have some really, really, really special performances -- is everyone excited?”

Introducing himself in third person was not normal behaviour, but it was amusing; something that shuddered his chest with restrain chuckles as he danced his eye contact over every member of the Royal panel. 

“Our first performer today is one of a kind, and he’s told me, personally, that he wants everyone to enjoy the performance today and enjoy themselves. That is his number one request!” Seungjun continues, extending on finger and tapping it against the edge of his own hand. He grins for a second, waiting a second for the agreement he liked to pretend would happen if this were a real stage, if he were genuinely hosting something. “Please welcome, Park. Seung. Jun.”

As if pretending someone would enter in behind him, Seungjun clapped his hands together in tiny quicky movements and twisted to look behind him. The tremble of the laughter in his shoulders comes when he looks back at the panel, and then almost habitually bows forward again. “Hello everyone! I’m Park. Seung. Jun. I’m going to be performing a rap today, from Highlight-sunbaenim!” His second introduction, this time he’s more at ease; dropping his MC persona for his usual. It’s a testament to his acting, even if there are ricochets of delight in his throat and he takes a second to switch. 

“Please enjoy the performance and please, don’t be sad.”

Seungjun’s head dips forward, just as he moves a step and lowers his shoulders that fraction. One hand comes up, doing a small casual movement as he slips on his performance persona, eyes purposefully missing eyes contact with the first lines and coming back playfully. The whole song was playful, buoyant, filled with energy and Seungjun let himself focus on that joy, on expressing that with his easy movements, his momentary eye contact, his boyish expression. Even waggling his finger as they did in the song.

You’re smiling less, especially today You seem sad for some reason When I asked you what’s wrong You said everything’s fine and turned your head

There’s a sharpness added to his voice as he comes to the second verse, patting his chest with the lyrics mentioning his heart. Whether excitement, nerves, or confidence, Seungjun liked to move with the music; he liked to play on the lyrics, he liked to do it as if he were performing for Sooah. That’s who this song was for. His precious baby sister, the one who had come out of the Starbright interview and looked like the world was on her shoulders. The one who had balled up her tiny fists and cried her heart out when she was a baby, and Seungjun learned every trick for making her smile again. He would sing along with this song in the car when she had a bad day at school and he’d laugh when she said he was embarrassing. He never wanted to see her sad; not for a second. 

Your single tear drop Makes my day crumble down Your deep sighs Tear apart my heart I’ll be your light So take away that shadow From your angelic face

One hand comes up over his face to brush away any shadows, any sadness from her face.

It’s difficult to stop himself from singing on further, knowing he only had one minute -- but he was soon inching back to where he been standing when he’d first begun. His hands coming together in front of him as he stumbles a little over his own foot, catches himself and then stifles the laughter behind his hand. The flutter in his stomach had grow, full force in strength as he dipped over into a deep bow again and straightened himself up. “For the rest of the day, please be happy and have good feelings after seeing my performance. Thank you,” he finishes off, brightly, folding his body over once more and then glancing over the panel once more. A hope warm, flooding through his chest. 

As long as he tried, he had a chance.