#17mayestreet

Growing up with two cultural identities I learnt early on in life that everyone older than me would be called Mr, Ms, Mrs, Dr, Chief, Auntie, Uncle, Sister, Brother, Senior etc as a prefix to their name. That was always normal to me and I view it as a sign of good home training, courtesy and respect.

Then I got older and began to mix with children and teenagers from other cultures.  I got the shock of my life when I visited a school in the USA where my auntie was a teacher.  Children young enough to be her grandchildren called out to her by her name without the prefix of even a measly “Miss”. This experience got me thinking about my own views and why it bothered me so much.

  The truth is I have always felt that adding a prefix as a sign of courtesy towards an elder shows respect towards them, and makes the junior person a little less likely to be rude. It also creates an appropriate boundary between people with different life experiences and levels of insight.

  When children are young it is good to inculcate in them the idea that one should be courteous to everybody, especially one’s seniors. However, it is also important to show them that respect needs to be earned and does not come automatically with seniority.

  I also feel that people who were raised in a culture that teaches this must understand that the prefix alone is not what creates the respect. However, it is a great way to show courtesy to seniors especially those who have earned respect.

  When children from such cultures rebel against showing such courtesy, that may be because they perceive respect differently to what it really is. They associate courtesy with respect and respect with fear, and fear with the need to control their own lives. 

Amina rocking her Natural Hair