#16.03.2015

Es ist schwer jemanden zu verlieren. Ich habe viel Zeit damit verbracht, Gründe oder Antworten zu suchen, aber man kann nicht finden, was nicht da ist. Es geschieht einfach.

The worst is when you tired of your own consciousness and your own words disgust you as you realize, “This is who I am & I will never change,” because art never does, it stays beautiful and dies just like the body –– these fake senses reside in a mortal body that imprisons the mind in which the world has shrunken itself to revealing only the worst realities of earth and its doom –– the ocean heats, a boiling pot of acid –– guns shoot into the void –– that’s where the children have retired to –– beyond thought, the finite life decays but before it does, there you are, trying to inspire yourself, writing to yourself in the second person to detach from learned helplessness, to find a different vocabulary to embellish the anguish.

why fear ––     it’s white fear blonde haired blue eyed speaking atop the pyramid spitting fire onto dry skin oily black mane looking up at the three dimensional face glowing with lipstick turning to look at your own as the mirror cowards in fear

Inna lilaahi wa inna ilayhi raadji3oen. To Allah (swt) we belong and to Him we shall return.