I Don’t Fit In (With Your New Friends) for @bylermicrofic
AO3 vers
“Oh, there he is!” Will exclaimed, smile stretching wide as he stood up.
His new friends exchanged knowing smiles at his excitement to greet the dark-haired guy who’d just entered the bar. Will had been talking up Mike ever since he’d become their friend months ago.
They were eager to meet him. Will’s stories had set a very high bar, which he had told many of since he’d first found out Mike would be visiting him. As far as Will was concerned, Mike was the funniest person on planet Earth, a natural comedian.
So as Mike approached the table, hand rising in a wave, they greeted him warmly.
“Welcome, Michael. We’ve heard so much about you,” Sandra chimed in, a girl with blonde, spiky gravity-defying pigtails. Nods of agreement and snickers went around the table, and Will’s face turned red as Mike sat down with his friends, shooting them warning looks.
“Yeah, uh… Will talks about you guys on the phone all the time too. Hopefully he hasn’t been telling you all I suck.” Mike laughed, awkwardly rubbing a hand over the back of his head.
Danny coughed out a laugh and hid his smile behind his hand. “Definitely not that, mate. Don’t worry about it.”
And like that, they settled into getting to know Will’s charming, handsome, comedian of a childhood best friend.
By the fourth round of drinks, it became apparent that Will’s description of Mike was… questionably reliable.
Mike was undeniably handsome, albeit in a nervous, lanky, bird-like way that didn’t match the valiant protector they’d expected from Will’s stories of Mike facing down childhood bullies for him.
Charming was also up for interpretation. He wasn’t unlikable exactly, but he stumbled over his words, made odd comparisons and inside jokes that had Will snorting but the rest of them confused, and hovered around Will like a magnet. Both times that Will got up from the table, Mike followed without glancing at anyone else.
And then there were the jokes.
God, the jokes.
It turned out Mike wasn’t just not the comedian he’d been touted to be—he was dreadfully unfunny. Every joke earned strained laughter, drowned out by Will absolutely losing it like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
Emboldened by Will’s reactions, Mike launched into another as they finished the last of their drinks, all of them ready to escape dad joke hell for the night.
“A zombie shambles into a bar,” he started, talking with his hands. Danny shuffled his chair aside to avoid getting whacked. “The bartender says, ‘first time I’ve seen a zombie in here. Did you know there’s a drink named after you?’”
The table was silent, fake laughs ready. Will, beyond tipsy, stared up at Mike, enraptured.
Mike caught his look and ducked his head before straightening, puffing out his chest. Putting on a croaky voice, he finished.
“The zombie replies, ‘A drink named Kevin?’”
Will was off again, dropping his head to the cool wooden table as drunk giggles spilled from his lips. “See? Told you guys he was the funniest.”
Sandra and Danny locked eyes across the table and, for the first time all night, let out genuine belly laughs as Mike beamed proudly.
