#13irgit

In all fairness, ‘treating her like she’s part of the family’ shouldn’t necessarily include tagging her along or offices events. It may sound harsh, but she’s simply not an official member of the family yet. Christmas was fine, but she should’ve stayed home today. That said, I don’t think ‘forcing’ her into the picture all the time makes her popular.

She might not be an official member of the family, but you have to remember that she is engaged to a relatively high ranking member of the family who has publicly been placed as part of the future of the family. She isn’t marrying a future King but she also isn’t marrying someone who will stop publicly working in a few years. He’s going to big things and its not absurd that she would accompany him. 

“She should’ve stayed home today”? You’re saying that as if she was the one who decided she was going to go and could have backed out if she wanted to. These decisions are so much bigger than “I think I’m just going to stay home today.” The Queen runs this show. And if she and her people decide that they want Meghan there, Meg doesn’t really get to “stay home today.” This is clearly a huge year for the family and the Commonwealth and its all hands on deck. Clearly, the family has decided that that includes Meghan.

Agree yet- I don't see why people always have to bring up that Sansa was created for Arya to make Arya seem more important. That's not necessarily true. Sansa wrote herself, and may as well be just as important, her entire arch changed so it says little to nothing anymore. Arya and Sansa can both be important, their origin is of no importance now, so stop bringing that up. It's old. Also- I love/hate how you assume she'll be one of the big five. Don't know that yet. Wait and see wait and see.

Arya is going to be one of the Big Five because GRRM explicitly said so...? Because she was one of the first characters created ? Because he’s always bringing her up in discussions about the ending ? Because he always knew what her arc was going to be, and it hasn’t changed since the beginning - meaning it’s big enough he can’t change it without going through massive incoherences ? I mean, it’s pretty obvious. Just like Bran, Jon, Dany and Tyrion are the other Four.

For the whole foil matter, I answered it here, go take a look if you’re still interested.

I think there's much to be done about it! if you are AWARE that you only read stuff by the same person, maybe your awareness could cause you to actually broaden your horizon. I mean, there are fics with thousands of kudos and they seriously never pop up in the rec lists, and I don't think that's right. I do it too, constantly (re)-read the same stuff by the same people, but I'm aware so I always look at the updated list and I read as much new stuff as I can. Support new talent is important.

So yeah, I really get all your points (I do it too), but I don’t believe it’s unavoidable at all. I don’t want people to accept that only three or four of the soooo many amazing writers are being appreciated for what they do. It’s frustrating and unfair.

And then, I mean, there was this time I only ever read my Harry Potter books, if I’d stayed in that lane I would definitely not have broadened my horizon the way I have now. It’s good for you to read different stuff, much better for the mind.

And it’s not just individuals, I mean, I asked jonxsansafanfiction once ‘why do you always recommend the same stuff’ and I just got such an annoying 'we have our list and we always tag everything, so you can find it there’ response, like, that’s a lame excuse and not at all the answer to my question. I even named stories 'why is this not in here and this?’ And the answer was literally, 'we tag everything, find it there’ dude 👎

There’s a few different thoughts here I’ve tried to respond to.

there are fics with thousands of kudos and they seriously never pop up in the rec lists, and I don't think that's right

I tried not to say this in my first post but--if it literally has upper hundreds or thousands of kudos, there’s a good chance (80%+) that I did read it and didn’t like it, and therefore didn’t rec it. Full stop.

(Or that I did like it but not enough for it to survive the winnowing to my favorite 14 or whatever. There’s only so much time and effort I’m going to put into a recs list.)

I hate being negative in recs, but I also don’t like glossing over things I dislike/things I think other people might dislike in those fics, so I end up not reccing them at all. There are whole categories of fics I’m not going to rec:

stuff that has is really good in one way but not in others (super interesting concept + iffy writing, for example, or hot smut + characterization that makes my eyes bug out)

stuff that is objectively or technically good but just doesn’t hit my buttons, or contains elements I dislike - tropes, kinks, certain interpretations of canon/characters (since we’re friends I can pick on @jonnsansa here and say I think she’s a great writer and I love her stuff, but if her A/B/O fic updates there’s a good chance I’m not going to pay much attention because that trope just isn’t for me, you know?)

WIPs that are promising but still in the early stages; if I’m going to rec a WIP, it has to be substantial (@mon-blanchetts fr ex; I really dig her writing and it makes me have a lot of feelings [THE SHEER ANGST, and also a really admirable ability to delay explanation of what’s going on in a nicely suspenseful way], but the fics I’d rec just have a couple of parts right now. So if you’re cool with that, go read her stuff! But hopefully it’s understandable why I wouldn’t put it on a recs list until it was further along?)

Maybe this is just me being super picky, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I don’t really care? It’s a free internet, I can be as picky as I want.

But if you catch me in a more private space I’m okay with criticizing more freely. If you like a story and want to ask me what I think of it, feel free to privately message me and I’ll be more candid.

Supporting new talent is important.

I am “new talent,” so to speak, so it’s not like I’m part of some cliquey cabal of “old guard” friends who only read and rec each other. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, for that matter. Life is too short. Read & rec only your friends if you want!)

But there are several new(er) writers that I did include because I really like their stuff--@jonnsansa, @toyhto, @aknightfornawt (@maybetwice? how new are you? Ugh, this is what I get for coming to a fandom super late, the room is on fire and I have no idea what’s going on). I’m pretty sure I recced literally everything @aknightfornawt has written for Jon/Sansa except maybe one (such a tremendous writer y’all), and we started writing for the ship around the same time.

It’s good for you to read different stuff, much better for the mind. 

I’m in fandom for fun. Broadening my horizons and improving my mind is what my graduate degree was for.

At a fundamental level, I’m doing this for fun. Like you, I don’t have a lot of time--it’s mostly taken up by other less fun stuff. Like, you know, my multiple jobs, and also my PhD program.

I just don’t think I have an obligation to force myself to read more of a fic if I don’t like the first chapter, or to keep giving a writer more chances if I know I just don’t like their writing style and that’s unlikely to change.

Not sure why you think ‘she should’ve stayed home’ meant ‘Meghan is making a stupid mistake’- obviously I don’t know who’s decision it was, though obviously it wasn’t up to Meghan. Whoever made the decision, he or she or they are making a mistake. And I know harry is a full time royal, but it’s not so weird to think it strange that she gets to go to all events previous fiancées definitely didn’t go to. It just sorta gives the impression of her getting favors. I’m not hating.

It’s not like she’s glued to Harry, he can go there without her, it wouldn’t be impossible. She’s not married yet so she’s not an official member of the royal family- which means she maybe perhaps shouldn’t actually go to official royal family events. It doesn’t personally bother me- I’m just saying.... I get some people don’t like it and I don’t think it’s good for her popularity.

And I personally happen to do think that taking her with them to official events is forcing her into the picture/ cause she doesn’t have to be there, they choose to do so cause obviously they want her to be part of the club.

Ok but lets remember that previous fiancees weren’t attending these events because the people they were marrying weren’t either. But... well... they kinda were. Sophie was attending huge family events two years before she got engaged and Catherine was at William’s passing out and Order of the Garter ceremony years before they got engaged. She’s not really getting favors. 

This year for the family isn’t about one person or couple or their popularity or what they want. This year is about the Commonwealth, Charles, and the family as a whole. They’re very obviously trying to present a united front and seeing as how Harry and Meghan appear to be being pushed forward as the Commonwealth representatives couple, they’re going to be a huge part of these events. Harry more so than Meghan, but she’ll pop up every now and again because she’s going to be a part of that too.

Taking Meghan to these events isn’t about trying to make her look like a part of the club. She is a part of the club. So she’s just joining them. There was no part of this that was like “You know what, we think people would like Meghan more if we stuck her in a picture next to Catherine. Let’s take her with us!” Its about the Commonwealth and the family and the powers that be (not KP, this is bigger than KP) have decided that she needs to be there. So she is.

Though this is an asshole ask, I agree that there are some jonsa fics that are being highly neglected on Tumblr and it is always the same ¾ who are praised. But I’m not the one to make a list, cause I don’t read nearly enough for that, don’t got the time!

I totally agree and sympathize. I’ve been trying to figure out ways around this, but unfortunately it seems at least a bit unavoidable, because:

There’s 5-6 years of fics to get through, and like most fans, I looked first at all the fics with the most kudos and comments on AO3, and unsurprisingly found lots of stuff I enjoyed, which obviously lots of other people had enjoyed first;

When I like one fic by an author, I look up their back catalog; and when I don’t like one fic by an author, I often don’t click on anything else by them without a rec even if I would have liked something else they wrote, which leads to my bookmarks being stuffed with a lot of stuff by the same authors;

Like most people, I tend to like a lot of stories by the same authors because I happen like their writing style, approach to characterization, typical themes, way of writing smut, etc; and

I have an unfortunate tendency to neglect to bookmark Tumblr-only fics I really like, so they get lost in the void.

I don’t think there’s anything to be done about these except for #4, which I will try to improve in the future.

ASOS really didn’t do the trick?

It's not that she's not royal. She just won't be a princess. She'll be a duchess ������‍♀️

Yes, I’m aware that she will likely inherit the title of Duchess upon her marriage, as Harry will likely be gifted a dukedom as a wedding gift, but just like Kate, she will technically never be a Princess in the manner that we typically refer to them. 

As Meghan was not born a blood princess, she is not a princess in her own right. When she marries Harry she will assume the rank of her husband, who is a royal prince, but Meghan’s own highest title will be “Duchess”.  The only way she could ever technically be a princess is if Harry were to somehow become next in line to the throne. Then she would become “Princess of Wales”, like Diana was and like Kate will be. 

@elfmaidens good point I did forget Sansaery and I haven’t actually gotten to the Jeyne Poole parts of the books yet so I’m excited to see some of that. I’m also mad at myself for missing Jamie and Brienne.