CV: Stop digging
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to stress over being the best, or the top, at everything I do. I think so much about failing myself if I don't get the highest score. I think I just kept feeling like I shouldn't even try if that was the case, which in turn made me not show any effort at all. I recently re-read this quote from a quote book I downloaded on my phone. Between the lines of "If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging." That is entirely true. It was just one action (or lack of) after another, and I ended up digging myself in a deep hole. I need to stop that. Just my effort for doing something, or starting something, is enough. I just need to START something and typically I'll finish it. I also visited a doctor about this feeling finally. Got prescribed an SSRI. Its only been a week and I don't necessarily feel any changes. Maybe less anxious, but that can also be because I stopped drinking caffeine. A rockstar and a sugary coffee drink a day was doing me no good I guess. Though the surge of energy was really helpful at times. Hopefully I don't relapse. I honestly just have to get through this program. I keep forgetting that it's not endless, unless I make it that way. I can pass. I know I can.
