It almost happened again.
We started hanging out. You got in bed next to me. We cuddled and it got heavier. This always happens. We can’t be around each other. Is this how it’s going to be for the rest of our lives? Are we ever going to move past this? Is this ever going to go away?
At this point I’m so over it emotionally, it’s just a laughable ridiculous situation. Physically, I still want you so bad.
I sent you this message the next night
“ So uh, about last night. Idk really what that was, but I’m not going to sit here and dance around the subject so I’m just gonna say that I still wanna fuck you, I probably still will in the future, so do with that what you please. I don’t want cause problems or anything so I’m just getting it out there and leaving it alone. ”
And you know what you said? Absolutely nothing.
This seriously is so ridiculous I can't help but laugh. What the fuck is going on with us?
There was some kind of feelings there five years ago.
They were still there two years ago.
They were still there seven months ago.
They were still there two months ago.
They were still there Sunday.
Please just tell me what is going on in your head.
Do you love me? Do you hate me? Do I disgust you? Do you need me?
When we get close I can feel you shaking even if we aren't touching. I can hear your heart racing without my head being on your chest. I can feel it pounding. Your breath gets so loud it's distracting. Are your conversations short with me when we are close because you're angry or because you can't catch your breath. Do you act like I'm not here because you want me too bad or because you really wish I would go away? What does ignoring me do for you? Does it make you feel like you're in control? Or does this mean literally nothing to you? Look, I just want to fuck you so bad. My knees get so weak around you and my heart melts when I see your face. Touching you makes me feel like putty. Please, let's melt into each other
