#11.18.13

I wish I had my pictures from the last day of school from 2009 and 10. More so, I wish that you were still with us so I wouldn't have to worry about that. It's been two years now without you, and I still haven't come to terms with it completely. We hadn't talked for a long time when I found out you were gone, and I regret not calling or texting you more often. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I still remember you being overprotective of me, while still making jokes at me and messing with me. No matter how long it was that we hadn't seen each other we would still always laugh and talk just like we used to. You were like my big brother, even though you were younger than me. I will always remember you, miss you and love you very much. I

It's getting terrifyingly close to Friday... I'm torn in two. I want to go and be there already but I know that would mean its real. It really has been a year without you. I don't know if I can handle that... I'm scared. I feel the anxiety getting the best of me and i know its only a matter of time before it takes over and I have a panic attack... Help me please.. don't let me drown.. I'm scared.

first - 08.23.13 second - 11.03.13 third - 11.18.13 i can see the city lights, we're here

Looks like the That Moment photoshoot/video happened in the early morning, with plenty of time left in the day for Access Hollywood interviews and their Where We Are book signing that afternoon/evening.

Niall's talking about how great it's been to do two world tours.... And then there's Louis.

Now we are here, walking home in the rain that's not fully committed to falling. Three walk in line and I don't count the steps or the breaths we take. I count the times our hands squeeze and the distance between us and her, whether there is anything I can say.