#11.09.13

so i had a tiny bit of hope or err, more like wishful thinking that he would text me first over the weekend but obviously that didn't happen. so i texted him thirty minutes before the review session for linguistics. he didn't reply to me so i just went to the review session by myself. he then later texted me that he was at a review session for cs, which was nice. his text patterns are like mine so that's really cute. but yeah, i texted him back and he never texted me back and wow i don't think i've ever waited so long for a text message. every time my phone got a notification, i would get excited but just find out that it was something else and then get disappointed. i guess that's what it's like to have a crush? i don't know, this is my first actual time? except i'm confused about how to feel because maybe he actually is a jerk. but then again what if i'm accusing him but he's actually injured and lying in a hospital somewhere or something. or maybe his battery just died? ......sigh, my imagination gives me too many different ideas that i can't come to a conclusion. i'm just going to give myself the best thing for me and say that he's a jerk and try to forget. he probably didn't want to be my friend in the first place. you're still a butthole though.

Ricordo perfettamente quel momento. Non era ancora iniziata la scuola, ma entrambi i miei genitori avevano già ripreso a lavorare. Nono potendomi lasciare a casa da sola, mio padre mi portò da lui in caserma.  Dopo pranzo era andato a letto per riposare un po' ed io ero rimasta con i suoi colleghi, che erano molto gentili e simpatici con una bambina piccola come me. Uno di loro impose agli altri di mettere la televisione sui "Simpson", perchè a tutti i bambini piacciono i "Simpson", ed io ero un'ospite quindi ci siamo messi tutti a guardare quei mostri gialli che facevano ridere.

Ma ad un certo puntò squillò il cellulare, era la moglie di uno dei colleghi, che dopo aver risposto mi guardò e disse: "Scusa piccola" . Prese il telecomando e cambiò canale.

Rimasero tutti pietrificati. Bocche spalancate, orrore negli occhi, frasi sconnesse. Io non riuscivo bene a capire. Vedevo solo fumo nero. 

Non ricordo molto da lì in poi. So solo che in qualche modo mi fu spiegato, o forse capii da sola che era un momento brutto. Talmente brutto che neanche i "Simpson" potevano risollevare l'animo.