#10tapes

📼 --- 10TAPES ( may 2021 - march 2022 ), created by jeffiot

He kept his eyes glued to the screen of his computer. The words are a blur, whatever pictures there were nothing but a mesh of colors the more H focused on them. A deep swallow -- hard to even keep down without it hurting his throat. Anything to keep his attention away from...from...

Don’t you want to see him again?

H ignored how fingertips slid along his forearm, goosebumps rising after them. He resisted the urge to lean back into the weight settling behind his chair. Locks of hair can be seen at the corner of his eye, prompting H to clear his throat as if it was nothing but a trick of the mind. A cruel joke. Another clue that this is nothing but a fucking dream. H blinked back tears with a sniff, the hand holding at his computer mouse trembling. 

Go away. Please go away. I don’t want to see you...

Another hand reached from behind him, taking hold of it.

“Stop-” H choked out, only for those fingers to intertwine tightly. A nose burrowed into H’s hair, lips felt at the back of his head where they curved up in a pleased smile. A doting smile. A sweet smile. His smile.

“Look at me.”

When H hadn’t complied, a laugh is heard through an amused sigh. Those fingers pulled H’s away from the mouse, gently turning the chair around so he’d face the other. H kept his gaze down to watch feet setting on the ground as the man sat down on another chair. He rolled it forward. His forehead touches at H’s one, making his breath hitch in anxiety. His sigh became blurry just as his hands are taken to be held. They were...so warm. He always wanted to believe that these hands are frigid as ice -- what was there to keep warm and so...so full of life? Isn’t he just a walking corpse at this point?

“H.”

...

...

Silence.

“No more, X. Please... You’ve got what you wanted.”

A loud ringing is heard in his ears. The silence enveloping them constricted hard in H’s chest, hoping that it would suffocate him at long last. Anything to get him out of this. To get away from him.

Finally, H brought his eyes up. Hatred swirled in them. How lovely~.

“See? Was that so hard?” Lips brushed against his, H grimacing at the unnatural taste from him. A chuckle rumbled from X as he pulled away, his own eyes glimmering with mirth. It’s his fucking eyes-- how could it still be HIM? “You didn’t answer my question, H.” The man tore his gaze away at long last. He swallowed down the unpleasant taste at the back of his throat.

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked instead. Challenging, even.

X’s lips returned to touch at his skin; this time, at his cheek where his beard tickled at him.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” It wasn’t his...voice. ITS voice.

A pitiful sob came out of him. H couldn’t stop the tears falling down his cheeks with his glasses falling to his lap, then clattering to the ground. Arms wrapped around him, a large hand rubbing along his back. His eyes closed as he took in that familiar scent emanating from X.

J’s jacket. He’s still wearing it...

...

...

...

His eyes opened. He’s slouching on his computer chair, facing the screen with the cursor still in place where he had been writing. Glancing around the room and squinting at the sunlight peeking through the blinds, H straightened up with a groan before his eyes caught a sight. A tan jacket draped along his body, large enough to reach down to his knees. H scrambled to pull his legs in to have his knees up in his chair, curling up with the jacket tightly wrapped around him. He dug his nose into the fabric, shuddering at the scent from it.

He turned towards the window, hearing chatter and laughter from people walking by his apartment. H curled more into it, remembering what he thought of as he watched that last video. The way HE sneered at the camera and thanking his most precious lilies -- his beloved dullard.