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girl : (this body is every wild animal and vulnerable to everything and climbing just to see better. I sink into it. I canāt say what I am no matter how loud they think what they think. itās all softness and bared teeth. itās all hot blooded panic while a silence pounds in the ear. so thereās not much to tell. somethingās already running)
I actually got some pretty solid sleep last night. Full 8 hours entirely uninterrupted as far as I'm aware. So why don't I want to get out of bed? Why do I want to sleep more when I'm honestly not tired?
Fuck.
made amino acids on index cards
did cs proj
reviewed polar stuff
Almost midnight 30. Taken meds. Mind racing. Not in a bad way, just very ADHD and restless.
Spent a lot of time today browsing the internet for people to meet in Idaho Falls. Not much luck. Reddit and FetLife don't have much to offer. Don't even get me started on Plenty of Fish, which I logged into after 3+ years of forgetting I had a profile. I think Tinder may serve me better once I'm there. I'm just anxious to talk to people.
Also spent a fuck ton of time looking at hair dye. Finally landed on Arctic Fox's Poison and Wrath. The goal is to get a nice, vibrant, deep red that won't fade to orange. I ordered a total of 16oz, so I should have plenty left over to make my own colour restoring conditioner, I hope. My hair is past my shoulders to about my shoulder blades. It's been weird since moving out West, away from the constant 100% humidity. Sometimes it's thin, sometimes it's thick. Seems to always be dense in the back though. Order should be here Monday, which means I need to collect some bleach, a mixing bowl, Suave conditioner, and clarifying shampoo.
I miss Trevor. If there's anything today's Reddit adventures have shown me, it's that. Looking at personal ads and profiles just feels aggravating. I want my friend back. I wanna go explore mountains and rivers and museums and coffee shops. I don't wanna have to deal with getting to know a whole new person, figuring out if we sync up or not. Trevor is just so easy to get along with. Very easy going, calm, fun, smart, bomb proof if you will. (Horse reference, but if you've got a sick sense of humor that could be an Army joke too.)
How do I meet people, make friends, and have good sex with zero drama? Is that too much to ask? Maybe the red hair will help.

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Looks like Iāll be getting the last season of Game of Thrones for my birthday in April.