#09.21.2016

today i went to my classes without makeup on and didn't once feel the urge to go look in a mirror and check my appearance. i haven't been in public without makeup on and not continuously looked at or thought about looking at myself in the mirror to try and fix myself for as long as i can remember. i can't look at myself and not feel an overwhelming anxiety to fix my hair, face, whatever issue i imagine there to be. i spend most of my day in front of a mirror checking and rechecking how i look, spending hours doing and redoing my hair, makeup, changing clothes multiple times because of how they look on me. today my bdd didn't affect me; i didn't judge my body or my weight negatively once. i didn't have to pep talk myself to walk away from the mirror. today i felt amazing in my skin and for that i felt strong. i've been monitoring everything i eat and taking care of myself and today it paid off. today i had hope that i will continue to feel this relief from my anxiety, my paranoia, my bdd. today i felt beautiful, confident, and healthy and today i am grateful for the temple i've been given, and for my field for providing me with the insight that i need to strengthen myself.