#07.19.15

Today we went to church--amen.  My sisters and I were just goofing off as we usually do when my littlest one turns to me deadpan, leans in v close to me and whispers “don’t steal my nose”.  Of course it’s much funnier in person but I started to laugh, no not just a little cute giggle, like a full-on hyena guffaw, shoulders trembling and all.  Then it happened.  When I tried to stifle my laugh with my hand, I couldn’t breathe for a second and snorted.  I snorted a loud, painful snort.  After that I sunk down low in my seat.

We were invited to my cousin’s godparents house for a family memorial service.  We aren’t related technically to them but in the asian community, if you know someone’s name, you’re basically related.  Well we show up--remember, we aren’t part of the family, yet--and as soon as we walk in, all heads shoot up.  Their “outsider” radar probably went off and our every move was observed and judged.  I could feel their cold, mean, squinty eyes burning into my soul, and all over the dress I was wearing.  Asian people are also really judge-y.  

The godmom came to greet us with hugs and kisses and was like make yourself at home, so I did what any normal teenager would do and headed straight for the buffet table, while dragging my sisters too so I wasn’t alone.  

We ate surrounded by the judge-y asians who had all turned their seats away from us but I didn’t care ‘cause the food was good.  Then my sisters and I retreated to the basement where we heard there were kids our age.  Same creepy stares from them when we came down.  But then I talked to them and made jokes and they liked tolerated us.  Meanwhile there was this cute asian boy who was taking care of this cute baby which makes girls swoon...I did at least.

Eventually we had to go back upstairs for the memorial ceremony part which turned out to be mass, so we didn’t have to go that morning bummers.  But everything was done in asian aka my sisters and I had no idea what was going on--this was another reason our family was judged, lols and why we sat in the v back of the house.  During the homily, the priest was going on and on about something seemingly meaningful, really getting into the story he was telling and going as far as jumping around.  I was bored and looked around and sure enough I saw people going down one by one into a deep sleep.  Then he was like “I will say somet’ing in E’glish.  I do a joke.  A little boy’s grandma had fallen asleep during a mass.  The priest said to the boy ‘Boy, wake up your grandmother’.  But the boy said ‘Priest, why do I have to do it you’re the one who put her to sleep!’”  I know it’s not that funny but after sitting there for so long I was bored and I was ready to laugh at anything.  And I did.  I laughed so loudly and obnoxiously, I’m cringing just thinking about it.  But that’s not the bad part.  The cute boy with the baby was standing right behind me--still holding the baby--and that’s when it happened.  I snorted a snort, a snort so snort-y that everyone in the room turned to look at me, including pretty boy with his baby cousin.  I died a little inside.

After the mass I was ready to run downstairs back into the basement when my mom stopped me.  “Hey Angela, have you met Vincent?” aka the pretty boy with baby?  So she stopped me and introduced me and said some nice things but I was too scared to look at him so I looked at the baby and played with him but goddamn he was so cute with the baby, sweet lorde.

Later in the day when I was playing with all of the little kids he came down to join and this time with his older brother, who sat on the sidelines and watched.  My mom came down and so did their mom and they were chatting it up when they called me over and she was like “he (older brother) just graduated from (uni that I’m going to) and he’s here so ask him a lot of questions”.  Lols @ mom. 

But yeah I talked to them--both brothers--and they were sweet and got my number and the older one was like “yeah if you ever need anything I’n here to talk *cute dimple-y smile*”.  Yep.  Later I was like “@ mom wtf was that?!?!?” and she goes, “Oh you didn’t notice when you waked in did you?  As soon as you walked into the house, all eyes were on you, then me ‘cause they knew the best way to get to you was through me.  So those boys’ mom immediately come up to ‘say hi’ and is now saying that she wants to ‘get closer and get-to-know’ our family”.  Lols.

Yep that was my day.