#062711

11th

Didn't go much today besides just going to cheer practice. Unfortunately, I started doing choreo for my cheer and dance at like 12am and slept at 5am. Even out of school, I procrastinate.

12th

I taught my captain chant but I decided not to do the dance because it wasn't done. Everyone got the cheer and we ended up doing tumbling. Got my front walk over and flip and worked on my back tuck. I feel like I go all the way around and coach said I did it on my own but idk I don't believe her words on that because I know I couldn't do it after 2 months of not doing anything. Went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned and she asked for my retainers. I told her I lost them. This is the 3rd time. I'm fucked. After that I told my siblings to wake me up at 3 so I can get ready for basketball practice at 4. First practice coming back from February. It was pretty fun and tiring. I did work and sweat it off a bit. Got home and watched Thor online (x thanks Tumblr!

13th

June 27, 2011

Monday. Random ass day. Woke up and went online for a bit. Then got ready. Phone on the way to the bus stop. Hot as bawls. Frkn people honking and whistling at me, hate! Frkn pervs. Walked to Mel's and Rae, Jawstin, Vince, and Linds were there. Hookah sesh! Rae and Linds left. Then Jawstin. Mel made food. Watched The Killers for a bit then realized we watched it already. Then started watching this one weird movie, I don't even know what it was. Then watched American Pie: The Naked Mile Run. Whoo, titiez everywhere! Yee, Mel and I like that shiet. Hah ;D Mel and Vince start tackling each other and I somehow got in it and got away. Mel hit her head all hard on the fold out couch and got a big ass bump. D: Vince left and we started watching That's So Raven. I left for a bit then her stepma took over. I got picked up. Home. Yee, my head hurts.

i definitely needed this weekend. i had to get away from it all and just relax and be with the people i love the most. having a few good laughs and surrounding myself with the people who've always understood me best is beyond words.

i don't think we ever know what we're missing until we find it, and i think this weekend i found some of that. being around my family always puts my mind at ease, i don't know if its because when i'm around my family, i for once don't have to worry about taking care of myself. that's what parents are for. they're there to take care of you. and goodness, i absolutely needed that care. as for my heart, i think its heal(ed)(ing).

i came to a conclusion this weekend. or rather, something felt different this weekend. i guess, the weight of the hurt lessened... or it was lifted off my shoulders. everything just made sense. and it all hurt less consequently. i've got nothing to regret. & i think i will be moving on now. no more waiting. no more wishing. no more hoping. no more us. and surprisingly i think i'm okay with that. i truly wish nothing but the best for him. and i wish nothing but happiness for myself.

being around my siblings also made me feel different. they're all so big and grown up now. they're like little people of their own. they have their own thoughts and feelings... and best of all their own sense of humor. lol. they made me laugh so much this weekend and i loved being silly with them. yes, we drive each other insane, but we're always there to balance each other out too and we seem to always mediate our own problems. keke. i adore them all, and i hope they know how much they mean to me.