#062424

we’re supposed to buy a gift and something to wear for the fam dinner on sat bc it’s Abby’s 18th bday~ pero mostly close na sa evia so wala we ended up eating na lang hahaha as usual

ayaw na rin naman to risk na lumayo since super rainy, anyway stay safe!!!

maybe in another universe, you weren't crying about a marriage that didn't happen. maybe in another universe, you weren't mourning over a fruitless engagement with that childhood friend you grew up with all your life.

i still remember you were wearing that white, frilly bow he got you one christmas, your hair was half-tied as the wavy strands flowed elegantly behind your back. you looked stunning, as you always were, yet your eyes held back tears of regret.

"i told him, rei," oh how i used to love to hear you call me by my nickname, but not when you were falling apart before me. "i confessed everything to him," you sobbed pitifully. i was too stunned. i thought you just wanted to meet me to escape that dinner party you dreaded the week before. "y-you did?" i stuttered in shock before guiding you down to sit on the bench of the park where you asked me to meet you. "what happened?"

thank God for waterproof mascara because you were crying your heart out. i didn't have the heart to urge you to tell me first before you went back on crying but i suppose the pain was too much to bear.

i always knew he didn't deserve you, even if you were planned to marry each other.

after a few moments of silence and multiple attempts of composing yourself, you looked up to me. "so, i told him that i liked him," you wiped a tear away, "a-and i told him even if they pushed the wedding and we did get married, i would let him have his freedom. e-even if that meant-" "what?" i snapped. i wish i didn't but my mouth spoke too soon, "clau, you can't be serious. tell me you're joking," disbelief was an understatement. it was beyond incomprehensible. you stared at me with glassy eyes, surprised at my sudden outburst. "clau, he literally treated you like shit! i thought i made that clear already from the beginning when you became /my/ friend," i gritted, anger bubbling within my system. she can't be for real with what she's saying. she's just disappointed and feeling the effects of a rejection.

"but i love him, reina. i have no say in this and you know that too," you shot back as you took a deep breath in, "you know how important all of this is to the family. /my/ family." right, i forgot. family comes first to you, of course. "all i asked from him was to let me like him and it would be fine. i can pretend for him if that meant i wouldn't have to let down both of our families," you held your head down. "you can yell at me all you want, fine. i understand because i brought this upon myself even after the times i sought you and cali when i felt delusional." i felt your hands reach out to mine as you gently rubbed over my knuckles as you tried to make me understand every single word you said, like i was even more fragile than you were. "i'm sorry if i was stubborn but all i am asking is for you to understand. please? i know i can make this work."

i tightened my grip, still in denial that you are willing to do all that for a guy who doesn't care. "reina, please? can you trust me on this one? i know you trust me, i've never been wrong when i said i can make things work before, right?" i softened at that. "yeah, i hate when you do that. you make it sound like you're a psychic," i mumbled to which you chuckled at. well, atleast you're smiling now for a bit.

"so, what now? if it did work, then what? you stay in a loveless marriage?" "it's not loveless when i like him," i slightly rolled my eyes at that, "a partially loving marriage, then."

you went silent, "i-i don't know yet. but atleast it's over, right? the business comes first but they won't have to breathe down our necks all the time." i was conflicted still, but i nodded anyways, "i see."

the far off look on your face as we sat next to each other was enough to tell me what i needed to know. and that was the thing: you almost always knew what to do after all that disappointment, as if you never saw the glass empty for it always has been half full in your eyes. you were everything i wanted to change in me because maybe then i can start to like myself. but i can never be you, even if i prayed to a million meteors falling on this defenseless planet. yet, that still sounded fine to me because i would rather look at you anyway.

i would rather look at you as you shine the brightest among all, as if your were one of those shooting stars that just came walking into my life, because you are the greatest wish the universe has ever granted me.