#05-31

Nagyon súlyos dolog, nagyon durva fegyver. Azért kegyetlen mert nem lehet számonkérni, sokszor igazán megfogalmazni sem, hogy mit jelent a figyelmen kívül hagyás Egy biztos, aki valakivel alkalmazza, az mással is fogja.

Arra jöttem rá, hogy ha úgy írom a bejegyzéseket, hogy a nárcisztikus így, a nárcisztikus úgy... akkor a legtöbb ember besöpri az unalomig hallott megbélyegző kupacba. Miközben engem nem érdekel a nárcisztikus személye, az érdekel, hogy amiket tesz, az mitől válik fegyverré. A bántása mitől mérgező. MI miért éljük meg az adott dolgot valaminek, miért nem vágjuk pofán az elsőnél, ahogy normális lenne, miért maradunk, és miért nehéz beszélni róla, megfogalmazni, kimondani: Bántalmazó.

Azt mondani valakinek, ne haragudj, nem szeretnék veled barátkozni, járni, kapcsolatban lenni – az tök normális. Nem bántalmazás, akkor sem, ha a másiknak nem esik jól. Nem mondani, csak nem törődni valakivel, aki amúgy szeretne velünk kapcsolatba kerülni, az sem bántalmazás, miért is lenne az? Ha nem reagálunk, nem keressük, nem kapcsolódunk, akkor előbb utóbb megérti, akkor is ha nem mondjuk. Akkor bántalmazás a figyelmen kívül hagyás, ha valaki nekünk valami módon kiszolgáltatott (érzelmileg, fizikailag, anyagilag), de az ő igényeit valójában nem vesszük figyelembe. Akkor sem, ha kéri. Őt magát, az igényeit, érzéseit is figyelmen kívül hagyjuk. Önző módon csak azt vesszük ki a kapcsolatból, ami nekünk valami módon jó, akkor amikor nekünk jó. Az igényeit önzésnek, feleslegesnek, nevetségesnek állítjuk be. Ha szükség van rá (vagy vigyázunk, hogy nehogy túl messzire szaladjon), akkor foglalkozunk vele. A szülő, aki a telefonját nyomkodja, miközben a gyerek a térdébe kapaszkodva néz fel rá, ő érzelmileg elhanyagolja a gyerekét. Ha rá is kiabál, hogy minek kapaszkodik, akkor érzelmi bántalmazó is. Pedig meg fogja etetni, valamikor, és ajándékot is vesz a szülinapjára. Mégis. A férfi, aki túlzásnak tartja a párja bármilyen párkapcsolati igényét, vagy a barát, aki sosem kérdez semmit, és csak hideg empátiával van a másik felé, érzelmi kiéheztetők, érzelmi bántalmazók. Ők nem értik, képtelenek ebbe beleérzeni, nem tudják sem felfogni, sem kezelni, sosem változnak meg, mert számukra a probléma nem létezik. Ők megkapják amire szükségük van, a másik embert nem „érzik”. Egy kapcsolatban is lehet nem látszani, úgy érezni, hogy a másiknak nem vagyok tétel, nem tudja ki vagyok, mi van velem, nem lát, és el is tagad mások előtt. Figyelmen kívül hagy. És az ember szenved és sorvad és nem tudja megmondani miért, mert minden dolog egyenként számonkérhetetlen apróság, együtt viszont felteszi a kérdést: Minek vagy vele?

Robert Russa Moton (August 26, 1867 – May 31, 1940) was an African American educator and author. He served as an administrator at Hampton Institute. In 1915 he was named principal of Tuskegee Institute, after the death of founder Booker T. Washington, a position he held for 20 years until retirement in 1935.

Biography

Robert Russa Moton was born in Amelia County, Virginia, on August 26, 1867, and raised in nearby Rice, Prince Edward County, Virginia. He graduated from the Hampton Institute in 1890.

He married Elizabeth Hunt Harris in 1905, but she died in 1906. He married his second wife, Jennie Dee Booth, in 1908. They had three daughters together: Charlotte Moton (Hubbard), who became a deputy assistant secretary of state at the State Department under President Lyndon B. Johnson; Catherine Moton (Patterson); and Jennie Moton (Taylor). All three married and had families.

In 1891, Moton was appointed commandant of the male student cadet corps at Hampton Institute, equivalent to Dean of Men, serving in this position for more than a decade. He was informally known as the "Major".

In 1915, after the death of Booker T. Washington, Moton succeeded Washington as the second principal of the Tuskegee Institute. While supporting the work-study program, he emphasized education, integrating

"liberal arts into the curriculum, establishing bachelor of science degrees in agriculture and education. He improved courses of study, especially in teacher training, elevated the quality of the faculty and administration, constructed new facilities, and significantly increased the endowment by maintaining his connections to wealthy white benefactors in the North."

During World War I, Moton traveled to Europe on behalf of president Woodrow Wilson. His duty was to investigate the condition of the African American soldiers. He often witnessed discriminatory practices. For example, during his investigation, Moton was confronted by an American general regarding twenty-six alleged cases of rape by black soldiers. The general told Moton that black soldiers were dangerous to themselves and women. Moton challenged these allegations, suggesting discrimination was motivating factor, and encouraged black soldiers to protest against segregation when they returned to the US.

Moton wrote a number of books while he served as principal. He attended the First Pan-African Congress in Paris in 1919, meeting other educators and activists from around the world.

In 1922 he was the keynote speaker at the dedication of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC but was not allowed to sit with the other speakers.

In race relations, Moton advocated accommodation, not confrontation. He firmly believed that the best way to advance the cause of African Americans was to convince white people of black people's worth through their exemplary behavior. Never one to rock the boat, he didn't fight segregation or challenge white authority.

Moton sat on the boards of major philanthropic organizations with the likes of Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller Jr., and his influence was considerable. When Julius Rosenwald, president of Sears, Roebuck and Company, provided the funding to build more than 6,000 "Rosenwald" schools for rural Southern African Americans, Moton's skills were clearly in play behind the scenes.

In 1927 the Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 devastated the Delta. With the Mississippi flood waters covering the entire Delta, the Greenville, Mississippi levee was the only high, safe place for thousands of refugees. The vast majority of the people stranded on the levee were African Americans, and they were desperate for food, potable drinking water and shelter. Instead of evacuating them, African Americans were virtually imprisoned on the levee and forced to work at gunpoint. The conditions in the Greenville camp were the worst of any refugee site.

To avoid a scandal that would threaten Hoover's presidential ambitions, Hoover's friends urged him to get what they called "the big Negroes" in the Republican Party to quiet his critics, and Hoover turned to Robert Moton for the job. Hoover formed the Colored Advisory Commission, led by Moton and staffed by prominent African Americans, to investigate the allegations of abuses in the flood area.

The commission conducted a thorough investigation and reported back to Moton on the deplorable conditions. Moton presented the findings to Hoover, and advocated immediate improvements to aid the flood's neediest victims. But the information was never made public. Hoover had asked Moton to keep a tight lid on his investigation. In return, Hoover implied that if he were successful in his bid for the presidency, Moton and his people would play a role in his administration unprecedented in the nation's history. Hoover also hinted that as president he intended to divide the land of bankrupt planters into small African American-owned farms.

Motivated by Hoover's promises, Moton saw to it that the Colored Advisory Commission never revealed the full extent of the abuses in the Delta, and Moton championed Hoover's candidacy to the African American population. However, once elected President in 1928, Hoover ignored Robert Moton and the promises he had made to his black constituency. In the following election of 1932, Moton withdrew his support for Hoover and switched to the Democratic Party.

Moton was a member of the Gamma Sigma graduate chapter of Phi Beta Sigma fraternity, along with George Washington Carver.

Moton went on to retire from Tuskegee in 1935 and died at his home in Gloucester County, Virginia, in 1940 at the age of 73 where he was buried at the Hampton Institute. Tuskegee Institute named the field where Airmen trained during World War I after Robert Moton, in honor of everything he did for the institute.

Legacy and honors

The Tuskegee syphilis experiment, a notable biomedical research study in U.S. history, began while Moton headed Tuskegee Institute. A clinical study conducted between 1932 and 1972 in Macon County, Alabama, by the U.S. Public Health Service, it became notorious for ethical issues, as it failed to tell participants their diagnosis and did not treat them, even after penicillin was proven in the 1940s to be effective against syphilis. The study followed the natural progression of untreated syphilis in poor, rural black men who thought they were receiving free health care from the U.S. government.

There is no evidence that Moton, or any African Americans, had any knowledge of the unethical issues relating to the experiment during its implementation. Moton endorsed the study and provided institutional resources, including medical personnel. The study was finally shut down in 1972 amid ethical controversy. The victims of the study included numerous men who died of syphilis, 40 wives who contracted the disease, and 19 children born with congenital syphilis.

Moton Field, the initial training base for the Tuskegee Airmen during World War II, was named after him. Moton had died the year before the Army commenced formal training of African-American military pilots at Tuskegee Institute. But under his leadership, the school had established a commitment to aeronautical training with facilities, engineering, and technical instructors. These resources were a factor in Tuskegee Institute's participation in the Civilian Pilot Training Program, a nationwide endeavor which eventually led to the training of African-American pilots at Tuskegee.

Holly Knoll, his retirement home in Gloucester County, has been known as the Robert R. Moton House and was designated as a U.S. National Historic Landmark in 1981.

The former R. R. Moton High School, located in Farmville in Prince Edward County, was designated a U.S. National Historic Landmark in 1998. It now houses the Robert Russa Moton Museum, a center for the study of civil rights in education.

Elementary schools have been named for him in Hampton, VA, Miami, FL, Westminster, MD, Easton, MD and New Orleans, LA.

In 1932, Moton was awarded the Spingarn Medal from the NAACP.

Public service

Moton played a role in various aspects of public service.

1918, he traveled to France at the request of President Woodrow Wilson to inspect U.S. black troops stationed there.

1923, he played a leading role in the establishment of the Veterans Administration Hospital for Negroes, Tuskegee, Alabama.

1927, Chairman of the American National Red Cross, Colored Advisory Commission on the Great Mississippi Flood.

1932, Chairman of the U.S. Commission on Education in Haiti.

Shirley Verrett (May 31, 1931 – November 5, 2010) was an African-American operatic mezzo-soprano who successfully transitioned into soprano roles, i.e. soprano sfogato. Verrett enjoyed great fame from the late 1960s through the 1990s, particularly well known for singing the works of Verdi and Donizetti.

Early life and education

Born into an African-American family of devout Seventh-day Adventists in New Orleans, Louisiana, Verrett was raised in Los Angeles, California. She sang in church and showed early musical abilities, but initially a singing career was frowned upon by her family. Later Verrett went on to study with Anna Fitziu and with Marion Szekely Freschl at the Juilliard School in New York. In 1961 she won the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions.

International career

In 1957, Verrett made her operatic debut in Britten's The Rape of Lucretia. In 1958, she made her New York City Opera debut as Irina in Kurt Weill's Lost in the Stars. In 1959, she made her European debut in Cologne, Germany in Dmitri Nabokov's Rasputins Tod. In 1962, she received critical acclaim for her Carmen in Spoleto, and repeated the role at the Bolshoi Theatre in 1963, and at the NY City Opera in 1964 (opposite Richard Cassilly and Norman Treigle). Verrett first appeared at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden in 1966 as Ulrica in Un ballo in maschera.

She appeared in the first concert ever televised from Lincoln Center in 1962, and also appeared that year in the first of the Leonard Bernstein Young People's Concerts ever televised from that venue, in what is now Avery Fisher Hall.

She made her debut at the Metropolitan Opera in 1968, with Carmen, and at La Scala in 1969 in Samson and Dalila. Verrett's mezzo roles included Cassandra and Didon (Berlioz's Les Troyens)-including the Met premiere, when she sang both roles in the same performance, Verdi's Ulrica, Amneris, Eboli, Azucena, Saint-Saëns' Dalila, Donizetti's Elisabetta I in Maria Stuarda, Leonora in La favorita, Christoph Willibald Gluck's Orpheus, and Rossini's Neocles (L'assedio di Corinto) and Sinaide in Moïse. Many of these roles were recorded, either professionally or privately.

Beginning in the late 1970s she began to tackle soprano roles, including Selika in L'Africaine, Judith in Bartók's Bluebeard's Castle, Lady Macbeth Macbeth, Madame Lidoine in Poulenc's Dialogues of the Carmelites (Met1977), Tosca, Norma (from Boston 1976 till Messina 1989), Aida (Boston 1980 and 1989), Desdemona (Otello) (1981), Leonore (Fidelio) (Met 1983), Iphigénie (1984–85), Alceste (1985), Médée (Cherubini) (1986).. Her Tosca was televised by PBS on Live from the Met in December 1978, just six days before Christmas. She sang the role opposite the Cavaradossi of Luciano Pavarotti.

In 1990, Verrett sang Dido in Les Troyens at the inauguration of the Opéra Bastille in Paris, and added a new role at her repertoire: Santuzza in Cavalleria rusticana in Sienna. In 1994, she made her Broadway debut in the Tony Award-winning revival of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Carousel at Lincoln Center's Vivian Beaumont Theater, playing Nettie Fowler.

In 1996 Verrett joined the faculty of the University of Michigan School of Music, Theatre & Dance as a Professor of Voice and the James Earl Jones University Professor of Music. The preceding year at the National Opera Association Gala Banquet and Concert honoring Mattiwilda Dobbs, Todd Duncan, Camilla Williams and Robert McFerrin, Verrett said: "I'm always so happy when I can speak to young people because I remember those who were kind to me that didn't need to be. The first reason I came tonight was for the honorees because I needed to say this. The second reason I came was for you, the youth. These great people here were the trailblazers for me. I hope in my own way I did something to help your generation, and that you will help the next. This is the way it's supposed to be. You just keep passing that baton on!"

Autobiography

In 2003, Shirley Verrett published a memoir, I Never Walked Alone (ISBN 0-471-20991-0), in which she spoke frankly about the racism she encountered as a black person in the American classical music world. When the conductor Leopold Stokowski invited her to sing with the Houston Symphony in the early 1960s, he had to rescind his invitation when the orchestra board refused to accept a black soloist. Stokowski later made amends by giving her a prestigious date with the much better known Philadelphia Orchestra.

Death

Verrett died in Ann Arbor, Michigan, aged 79, on November 5, 2010 from heart failure following an undisclosed illness.

Merle Dandridge (born May 31, 1975) is an actress and singer. She performed in a number of stage productions, including Broadway musicals Jesus Christ Superstar, Spamalot, and Rent. Dandridge also known for her recurring role on television series such as Sons of Anarchy and  The Night Shift. In 2016, she began starring as Grace Greenleaf in the Oprah Winfrey Network drama series, Greenleaf.

Early life

Dandridge was born in Okinawa, Japan. Her father was an African-American US serviceman from Memphis and her mother was a local Okinawan of Korean descent. As well as Okinawa, Dandridge has lived in Sacramento, California, at Beale Air Force Base, and later at Offutt Air Force Base (home to the then-Strategic Air Command) in Bellevue, Nebraska, where she spent the majority of her childhood. She attended Papillion La Vista High School and participated in the play production class and theater department there. She then attended the Theatre Conservatory at Roosevelt University (currently called the Chicago College of Performing Arts)

Career

Dandridge began her career appearing in Chicago theatre productions. She has gained a wider audience as the voice of Alyx Vance in the award-winning action game Half-Life 2 and its sequels, Episode One and Episode Two, and also as Marlene in The Last of Us. On television, she guest starred on NCIS, 24, Criminal Minds, The Newsroom and Drop Dead Diva. In 2012, she was cast in a series regular role as Chief in the NBC drama series Chicago Fire, but after pilot episode was replaced by Eamonn Walker. Dandridge also had the recurring roles in the FX drama series, Sons of Anarchy as Rita Roosevelt, and short-lived The CW teen soap Star-Crossed in 2014. In 2015, she co-starred in the second season of NBC medical drama, The Night Shift as Gwen Gaskin.

In 2015, Dandridge was cast as lead character in the Oprah Winfrey Network drama series, Greenleaf opposite Lynn Whitfield. She plays the role of Grace Greenleaf, Greenleaf's estranged daughter. Dandridge has received critical acclaim for her first leading screen role.

William Thomas "Billy" Strayhorn (November 29, 1915 – May 31, 1967) was an American jazz composer, pianist, lyricist, and arranger, best known for his successful collaboration with bandleader and composer Duke Ellington, lasting nearly three decades. His compositions include "Take the 'A' Train", "Chelsea Bridge", "A Flower Is a Lovesome Thing", and "Lush Life".

Early life

Strayhorn was born in Dayton, Ohio. His family soon moved to the Homewood section of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. However, his mother's family was from Hillsborough, North Carolina, and she sent him there to protect him from his father's drunken sprees. Strayhorn spent many months of his childhood at his grandparents' house in Hillsborough. In an interview, Strayhorn said that his grandmother was his primary influence during the first ten years of his life. He first became interested in music while living with her, playing hymns on her piano, and playing records on her Victrola record player.

Return to Pittsburgh and meeting Ellington

Strayhorn returned to Pittsburgh, and attended Westinghouse High School, later attended by Erroll Garner and Ahmad Jamal. In Pittsburgh, he began his musical career, studying classical music for a time at the Pittsburgh Music Institute, writing a high school musical, forming a musical trio that played daily on a local radio station, and, while still in his teens, composing (with lyrics) the songs "Life Is Lonely" (later renamed "Lush Life"), "My Little Brown Book", and "Something to Live For". While still in grade school, he worked odd jobs to earn enough money to buy his first piano. While in high school, he played in the school band, and studied under the same teacher, Carl McVicker, who had also instructed jazz pianists Erroll Garner and Mary Lou Williams. By age 19, he was writing for a professional musical, Fantastic Rhythm.

Though classical music was Strayhorn’s first love, his ambition to become a classical composer was shot down by the harsh reality of a black man trying to make it in the classical world, which at that time was almost completely white. Strayhorn was then introduced to the music of pianists like Art Tatum and Teddy Wilson at age 19. These musicians guided him into the realm of jazz where he remained for the rest of his life. His first jazz exposure was in a combo called the Mad Hatters that played around Pittsburgh.

He met Duke Ellington in December 1938, after an Ellington performance in Pittsburgh (he had first seen Ellington play in Pittsburgh in 1933). Here he first told, and then showed, the band leader how he would have arranged one of Duke's own pieces. Ellington was impressed enough to invite other band members to hear Strayhorn. At the end of the visit, he arranged for Strayhorn to meet him when the band returned to New York. Strayhorn worked for Ellington for the next quarter century as an arranger, composer, occasional pianist and collaborator until his early death from cancer. As Ellington described him, "Billy Strayhorn was my right arm, my left arm, all the eyes in the back of my head, my brain waves in his head, and his in mine."

Working with Ellington

Strayhorn's relationship with Ellington was always difficult to pin down: Strayhorn was a gifted composer and arranger who seemed to flourish in Duke's shadow. Ellington was arguably a father figure and the band was affectionately protective of the diminutive, mild-mannered, unselfish Strayhorn, nicknamed by the band "Strays", "Weely", and "Swee' Pea". Ellington may have taken advantage of him, but not in the mercenary way that others had taken advantage of Ellington; instead, he used Strayhorn to complete his thoughts, while giving Strayhorn the freedom to write on his own and enjoy at least some of the credit he deserved. Though Duke Ellington took credit for much of Strayhorn’s work, he did not maliciously drown out his partner. Ellington would make jokes onstage like, "Strayhorn does a lot of the work but I get to take the bows!"

Strayhorn composed the band's best known theme, "Take the 'A' Train", and a number of other pieces that became part of the band’s repertoire. In some cases Strayhorn received attribution for his work such as "Lotus Blossom", "Chelsea Bridge", and "Rain Check", while others, such as "Day Dream" and "Something to Live For", were listed as collaborations with Ellington or, in the case of "Satin Doll" and "Sugar Hill Penthouse", were credited to Ellington alone. Strayhorn also arranged many of Ellington's band-within-band recordings and provided harmonic clarity, taste, and polish to Duke's compositions. On the other hand, Ellington gave Strayhorn full credit as his collaborator on later, larger works such as Such Sweet Thunder, A Drum Is a Woman, The Perfume Suite and The Far East Suite, where Strayhorn and Ellington worked closely together. Strayhorn also often sat in on the piano with the Ellington Orchestra, both live and in the studio.

Detroit Free Press music critic Mark Stryker concludes that the work of Strayhorn and Ellington in Anatomy of a Murder is "indispensable, [although] ... too sketchy to rank in the top echelon among Ellington-Strayhorn masterpiece suites like "Such Sweet Thunder" and "The Far East Suite", but its most inspired moments are their equal." Film historians have recognized the soundtrack "as a landmark -- the first significant Hollywood film music by African Americans comprising non-diegetic music, that is, music whose source is not visible or implied by action in the film, like an on-screen band." The score avoided the cultural stereotypes which previously characterized jazz scores and rejected a strict adherence to visuals in ways that presaged the New Wave cinema of the ’60s."

In 1960 the two collaborated on the album The Nutcracker Suite, recorded for the Columbia label and featuring jazz interpretations of "The Nutcracker" by Tchaikovsky, arranged by the two. The original album cover is notable for the inclusion of Strayhorn's name and picture along with Ellington's on the front.

Personal life

Shortly before going on his second European tour with his orchestra, from March to May 1939, Ellington announced to his sister Ruth and son Mercer Ellington that Strayhorn "is staying with us." Through Mercer, Strayhorn met his first partner, African-American musician Aaron Bridgers, with whom Strayhorn lived until Bridgers moved to Paris in 1947.

Strayhorn was openly gay. He participated in many civil rights causes. As a committed friend to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., he arranged and conducted "King Fit the Battle of Alabama'" for the Ellington Orchestra in 1963 for the historical revue (and album) My People, dedicated to King.

Strayhorn's strong character left an impression on many people who met him. He had a major influence on the career of Lena Horne, who wanted to marry Strayhorn and considered him to have been the love of her life. Strayhorn used his classical background to improve Horne's singing technique. They eventually recorded songs together. In the 1950s, Strayhorn left his musical partner Duke Ellington for a few years to pursue a solo career of his own. He came out with a few solo albums and revues for the Copasetics (a New York show-business society), and took on theater productions with his friend Luther Henderson.

Illness and death

Strayhorn was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 1964, which eventually caused his death in 1967. Strayhorn finally succumbed in the early morning on May 31, 1967, in the company of his partner, Bill Grove, not in Lena Horne's arms as has often been falsely reported. By her own account, she was touring in Europe when she received the news of Strayhorn's death. His ashes were scattered in the Hudson River by a gathering of his closest friends.

While in the hospital, he had submitted his final composition to Ellington. "Blood Count" was used as the third track to Ellington's memorial album for Strayhorn, …And His Mother Called Him Bill, which was recorded several months after Strayhorn's death. The last track of the album is a spontaneous solo version of "Lotus Blossom" performed by Ellington, who sat at the piano and played for his friend while the band (who can be heard in the background) packed up after the formal end of the recording session.

Legacy

Strayhorn's arrangements had a tremendous impact on the Ellington band. Ellington always wrote for the personnel he had at the time, showcasing both the personalities and sound of soloists such as Johnny Hodges, Harry Carney, Ben Webster, Lawrence Brown and Jimmy Blanton, and drawing on the contrasts between players or sections to create a new sound for his band. Strayhorn brought a more linear, classically schooled ear to Ellington’s works, setting down in permanent form the sound and structures that Ellington sought.

Strayhorn’s own work, particularly his pieces written for Hodges on alto saxophone, often had a bittersweet, languorous flavor.

A Pennsylvania State Historical Marker highlighting Strayhorn's accomplishments was placed at Westinghouse High School in Pittsburgh, from which he graduated. In North Carolina, a state historical marker honoring Strayhorn is located in downtown Hillsborough, near his "boyhood home".

The former Regent Theatre in Pittsburgh's East Liberty neighborhood was renamed the Kelly Strayhorn Theater in honor of Strayhorn and fellow Pittsburgher Gene Kelly in 2000. It is a community-based performing arts theater.

In 2015 Strayhorn was inducted into the Legacy Walk.

In his autobiography and in a spoken word passage in his Second Sacred Concert, Duke Ellington listed what he considered Strayhorn's "four major moral freedoms": "freedom from hate, unconditionally; freedom from self-pity (even through all the pain and bad news); freedom from fear of possibly doing something that might possibly help another more than it might himself and freedom from the kind of pride that might make a man think that he was better than his brother or his neighbor."

Discography

For albums where Strayhorn arranged or performed with the Duke Ellington Orchestra see Duke Ellington discography

Great Times! (Mercer, 1950) - piano duets with Duke Ellington

Cue for Saxophone (Felsted, 1959) - Johnny Hodges small-group session released under Strayhorn's name

The Peaceful Side (United Artists, 1961) - Small group sessions recorded in Paris. This was the only Lp released by Strayhorn during his life where he had complete artistic control; other Lps released under Strayhorn's name while he was alive (such as "Cue for Saxophone" on the Felstead label and "Billy Strayhorn!!! Live!!!" on the Roulette label) were released under Strayhorn's name for contractual reasons.

Lush Life (Red Baron, 1992) - composed mostly of 1965 studio recordings of a small group featuring Strayhorn, Clark Terry, and Bob Wilber. The group had played these arrangements at a tribute concert on June 6, 1965 at the New School for Social Research in New York City which was organized by the Duke Ellington Society. The CD also has two Strayhorn-composed tracks recorded live in 1961 at a Duke Ellington show at the Basin Street East club in New York, and a handful of studio duets by Strayhorn and singer Ozzie Bailey and piano solos by Strayhorn.

As arranger

Johnny Hodges with Billy Strayhorn and the Orchestra (Verve, 1962)

As sideman

With Johnny Hodges

Castle Rock (Norgran, 1951 [1955])

Creamy (Norgran, 1955)

Ellingtonia '56 (Norgran, 1956)

Duke's in Bed (Verve, 1956)

The Big Sound (Verve, 1957)

Blues-a-Plenty (Verve, 1958)

Not So Dukish (Verve, 1958)

A narcisztikus érzelmi képlet: hazugság és manipuláció. Nem azért hazudik, mert élvezi a saját lehetőségeit a hazudozásra, bár a manipulációt a hatalmat mások felett, azt élvezi, hanem azért hazudik, mert a valóságot nem találja elég szépnek. A narcisztikusnak van egy világa, és bár mindannyiunknak van, abban tér el a normális embertől, hogy ő a valóságot ferdíti, kalapálja addig, amíg az (látszólag) beleillik a saját világába, míg az egészséges ember a saját világát idomítja a valósághoz és igyekszik minél jobban közelíteni. A narcisztikus beléd beszéli a saját képzelgéseit, elbizonytalanít benne, hogy mi a valóság. A narcisztikus a szeretetért küzd, de nem tudja megélni a szeretetet, csak a rajongás az ami eléri az ingerküszöbét. Többnyire belegabalyodik a saját hazugság és manipulációs csapdájába amiből úgy tud csak kijönni, hogy eltávolítja azt az embert, aki belát a színfalak mögé. Nem bírja elviselni a gondolatát se, hogy őt valaki olyannak látja amilyennek érzi magát. Kicsinek, sebezhetőnek, megbántottnak, meggyötörtnek. Soha semmikor nem írna vagy mondana magáról ilyet egy narcisztikus. Ő nagyszerű, csodás, és egyszerűen isten adományaként jobb és sikeresebb másoknál. Vannak érzései. Csak nem tudja kezelni őket, nem következetes, és fél tőlük, megmutatni is fél. Persze az önsajnálat és az önimádat mindenek felett áll, az empátiája csak olyan dolgokkal kapcsolatban jelenik meg amit ő maga is megtapasztalt. Az empátiája is következetlen, az érzelmi ingerküszöbe ingadozó. Széles skálán mozog ez a kórkép, a nevetséges önimádótól az agresszív önérvényesítőig. Mentális betegség, nehezen gyógyítható, mert gyermekkorig kell visszfejteni a személyiséget és újraépíteni. Nagyon sokan közülük a kreatív szakmában dolgoznak, de más területen a nagyzási mániájuk, a grandiózus terveik is sikerre viheti őket. Szórakoztatóak tudnak lenni, ha nem agresszívek. A pszichopata érzelmi képlet: hazugság és manipuláció. Kontroll és hatalom a többi ember felett. Élvezi a hazudozást és a manipulációt, mert azt bizonyítja, hogy okosabb a többi embernél. Nem okosabb, csak a moralitás és a társasági szabályok nem akadályozzák abban, hogy kimondjon dolgokat amiket egyébként sokan tudnak. Fogalma nincs róla, hogy mi a szeretet, intimitás, mély kapcsolat. Vannak számára hasznos emberek, vannak az érdekes emberek, és van a többi. A hasznosak hasznosak neki, az érdekesek szórakoztatják (folyton unatkozik), a többiek még ennyire se érdeklik. Az ingeréhsége mérhetetlen. Arra is képes, hogy hazugsággal, manipulációval kavarjon hullámokat maga körül, hogy a szükséges ingerekhez hozzájusson és lekösse az agyát. Ha valakit kiválaszt magának, mert hasznos vagy érdekes... egér a laboratóriumban. Normális embernek felfoghatatlan dolog, hogy nem képes a szeretetre. Nem képes rá. Talán a legjobb példa rá amit egy pszichopata maga mondott. Amikor szembesült a dologgal, hogy ő pszichopata, és végighallgatta, hogy mennyi fájdalmat okozott a családjának, akkor egyre jobban elhatalmasodott benne az a mélységes felismerés, hogy NEM ÉRDEKLI. Empátiája nincs. Színháza az van. Megtanult, másoktól ellesett, ellopott dolgokat vetít, hogy leplezze magát és manipulálni tudjon másokat. Sosem téved el az érzelmi útvesztőben, mindig tudja hogyan kell reagálni, hogy az neki hasznos legyen. Ha nem tudja, mert a dolgok meglepő módon nem úgy alakulnak ahogy tervezte, akkor nem reagál. Ezzel is visszakényszerítve a másik felet a megtervezett csatornába. Mindennek csak ára és haszna van. Saját magával kapcsolatban vannak érzései. Önsajnálat. Ezt az érzést képes valamennyire kivetíteni, ez néha az empátia látszatát kelti. A skála széles itt is. A csendes, visszahúzódó, kíméletlen kritikustól, a gyilkosig. Ingeréhség, szükségletek, logika, tervszerűség. A skálán ezek kombinációjától függ, hogy hol állnak. Az ingeréhségében hullámokat kavaró lehet akár sikeres TV-s személyiség míg a szükségleteinek alárendelt lehet szexuális gyilkos. Nem nagyon gyógyítható, de mint a felhozott példa is mutatja van akik képesek együttélni egy pszichopatával mivel a saját mentális problémájuk miatt

fogalmuk sincs, hogy amiben élnek az nem normális. Már sokszor mondtam, hogy az emberek elképesztő érzelmi és társkapcsolati nyomorban képesek elvegetálni. Túlélni egy kapcsolatot egy narcisztikussal vagy egy pszichopatával az bár rettenetes éveket jelet, de elképesztő dolgokkal gazdagítja az embert. Persze, csak az után, hogy újraépítette magát a romokból, viszanyerte a saját valóságát, az önértékelését és a bizalmat a szeretetben. És hiába látod a másik embert a ketrecben, nem tudsz segíteni neki. Nekem se tudtak.