#03242015

make yourself your definition of love and passion.

 since this blog is about some young woman’s mentality and psyche, let me tell you a bit about this lady’s day. today wasn't particularly a good or bad day. it was partially pleasant with a side of panic attacks and a bit of twinges of pain of my face, and my left arm and thigh.

last night, my father beat me. i suppose it was out of anger, i was scared, hurt, and feeling like shit. of course i felt degraded, but again i remind myself that i have lived in fear my whole life, i was beat with his fist and a solid pipe of an unknown material. i was struck three times on the forehead, twice on each eye and once on my left ear, i couldn't count the strikes on my arm or lower body, but all i could tell you was that it was hard to get into bed that night, not to mention the lack of sleep i had due to my pain and trauma. 

the tear-soaked teddy bear was the only thing keeping my warm, i eventually passed out from pain and shock and woke up a few hours later. 

as i embraced my stuffed bear i just wish i was in the arms of someone i’ve taken a fancy to recently. 

this morning i have done my schoolwork, i am home-schooled so the work was very easy and didn't take that long, i sat in the dark and tried to watch movies to lift my spirits. it helped. 

if you really want to find yourself in your own state of mind just spend a few hours alone in the DARK. you go insane but in a beautiful way, you are stripped down to the core of your very being and you are filled with emotion. so over zealous when i think about it.

my life may not be perfect. i know i need to remove myself from this toxic household. but i cant.

i suppose i’m a coward. i’m scared. i want to make people happy.

art art art art art ar ta rt art artartartartartrt.