As I showered I felt aches in my lower back but at nine months pregnant aches were kind of my new normal. By the time I made it to bed I was exhausted and blocked everything out as best I could trying to get just a few hours of sleep. Restlessly, I tossed and turned like most nights and it wasn’t until early in the morning when I got up to pace to try and relieve the aches that I realized something was very wrong as a trickle of moisture ran down my leg as I leaned against my kitchen island. There was no way this was happening and I winced as the ache returned and all at once I realized I was in labor. 

Trying to quell the panic rising in my chest because it wasn’t time yet, she wasn’t supposed to come for at least another two weeks, I waddled back to my bedroom to get my phone. Now realizing the aches were contractions I tried my best to think about how far apart they had been. It had to be close to 25 or 30 minutes still so I knew that I still had time before going to the hospital and that it could be hours or even close to a day before my labor progressed that far. 

By the time I finally had my phone I was starting to lose the battle with my own panic as I dialed the familiar number praying that he would pick up even though it was ungodly early in Arizona. 

“You’re up early.” The familiar voice greeted me, sleep still lingering in his voice until he heard my panicked whisper of his name. “What’s going on?” He questioned quickly, the rustle of bedsheets moving around him. 

“My water just broke.” I whispered, absolutely terrified. “I’m in labor Paul.” 

A litany of curses fell from his mouth and I could hear myself being put onto speaker. 

“How far apart are your contractions?” He asked, his voice sounding somewhat far away. 

“Close to half an hour.” I replied just trying to breathe slowly and steadily not because of any pain, but rather to manage the fear. 

“Have you started for the hospital?” I replied to his question in the negative telling him that it was a little too soon for that and I would rather wait in my own space until things progressed a little more than go to the hospital and have to wait there. He didn’t seem thrilled with this response but he was clearly too preoccupied to fight me on it too heavily. 

“Promise me you’ll get yourself to the hospital.” He insisted. “Take some deep breaths. I’m going to be there as soon as I can. I’m on my way.” He promised. “Tell dustbunny to hang in there until I arrive okay. You are so strong and you’ve got this. Just breathe and try to relax. I’m on my way.” Nodding my head even though he couldn’t see it, I tried to control the tears. This couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to be here. Not on the other side of the country. The fear that he wouldn’t make it, that I would have to deliver this baby all by myself crept into my mind and after hanging up the phone I sobbed softly just praying that somehow that wouldn’t be the case. 

Just as I thought I was going to be able to pull it together, another contraction hit and the pain brought fresh tears to my eyes as I sobbed trying to take any breath at all let alone a deep one. 

Repeating to myself that Paul had told me to breathe, I focused on controlling that before getting up to change my wet bottoms and double-check that I had everything I needed in my hospital bag. Going through all the items and the checklist I had made, I grabbed a few more things before setting the bag at the door. When another contraction hit, I whimpered through it before checking to see how long it had been since the previous one. 

Still about 25 minutes. 

Once they got to fifteen I knew that I would need to leave for the hospital. If Paul were here it would be possible to wait even longer but with having to drive myself there, I knew it would be better safe than sorry even if it was only like a five-minute drive away, ten if there was any traffic.

Knowing that the longer labor lasted, the more likely Paul would actually make it in time, I tried to stay calm and murmured to my bump for her to stay put a little longer. Putting a true crime show on tv, I settled onto the couch, phone beside me with a timer running. 

As the episode came to an end, a contraction hit once more and I breathed through it, wincing, before resetting the timer. 

The end of a second, third, and then a fourth episode were accompanied by additional contractions all still relatively steady at 25 minutes apart. 

Unable to focus on the details related to true crime anymore, I pulled up the latest podcast episode and started to listen hoping that maybe with Paul’s voice in my ear I could doze for a little while, feeling more and more exhausted by the minute. After another contraction, I must have dozed off a little because suddenly the guys were knee-deep into their interview with Ben Bishop as a contraction rolled through me making me wince even more because shit that one hurt. 

Twenty minutes. 

That was definitely closer and with it being more intense, I swallowed a wave of panic. I had no idea if or when Paul was going to be able to find a flight and the flight time alone was 4 hours if there was no layover anywhere. He might not even be in the air yet and yet dustbunny seemed like she really didn’t want to wait. 

Swallowing hard I rubbed my bump softly pleading with my daughter once more. 

“Please sweetheart, wait a little longer. I can’t do this alone.” 

By the time the podcast ended 45 minutes later, I’d had 3 more contractions, one 18 minutes after the last and the other two 16. 

Trying to call Paul, I was sent straight to voicemail and I could only hope that meant that he was in the air though I had no idea how far into a flight he may be. It had been 4 hours since I had realized I was in labor so there was a chance he was only a couple of hours away, though that chance seemed slim. 

With another contraction coming 16 minutes after the last, I knew that I needed to call my doctor and start making my way to the hospital. Using the bathroom one more time, I double-checked once again that I had everything I needed before alerting my doctor that my baby had decided she didn’t want to wait until her due date and that I was headed to the hospital. 

As I hung up the phone, another contraction hit that almost doubled me over and I cursed, already over the entire process of labor knowing full well that I hadn’t even reached the hardest part yet. It was terrifying and I sobbed for a moment before getting myself some water and moving to load the bag into the car. 

Waiting for the next contraction to pass, I started the car and made my way to the hospital, pulling into the closest spot I could find. Gathering my bag I held myself up against the side of the car as yet another painful contraction tore through me.

When it subsided I waddled my way to the front doors, never more relieved than to find a nurse waiting for me with a wheelchair to take me up to labor and delivery to be admitted. 

Completing paperwork while experiencing regular intense contractions was difficult, to say the least, and by the time I was settled into a room, hooked up to all the monitors and an iv just waiting for a doctor to come to check me almost an hour had passed. Trying Paul’s phone again, I was sent straight to voicemail once more and that once again brought tears to my eyes filling my chest with panic that he wouldn’t make it. 

The next contraction made me scream and at that moment a nurse and my doctor rolled through the doors, immediately looking a little alarmed. 

“Let’s see how we’re doing.” My doctor’s voice said in a tone that would have been soothing if I was not already panicked. A gloved hand slid under the blankets and after a moment she pulled back sending the nurse a look. 

“Are you feeling any pressure or need to push yet?” She asked me and my brain immediately went into a fog. If she was asking me that, that meant that things were really really close, closer than I expected them to be. 

“She can’t come yet.” I insisted frantically. “She can’t. I can’t do this until Paul is here.” 

Ever patient, my doctor rested an ungloved hand on my knee. 

“Leigh. I don’t think your little girl is going to wait any longer. We’re going to get ready for you to push because you’re fully dilated.” 

“I can’t…” I insisted, shaking my head. “She needs to wait.” 

My face scrunched with pain as another contraction rolled through me and my doctor must have given the nurse a few instructions because after a minute she was standing there with a mask. 

“It’s laughing gas…it will help take the edge off the pain. Just hold the mask and take a few deep breaths.” She instructed. 

“I’m not ready.” I repeated, needing someone to listen to me that regardless of what my body was saying, she couldn’t come yet. 

The same nurse remained beside me, urging me to take the mask and breathe as a few more bodies flooded into the room, quickly gowning up and putting gloves on. 

Another contraction came with pressure and I resisted, choking out a sob and some verbal signal of pain. 

“Leigh. Next contraction I’m going to need you to start pushing.” My doctor directed. “We need to get your daughter here so she’s safe.” 

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and dug my nails into the mattress, continuing to sob. 

“I can’t do this!” 

“Leigh. Push!” My doctor demanded as another contraction tore through my body. “Push!” My body must have reacted on impulse because a “good, that’s good.” left her lips shortly after. 

“I can’t. I can’t.” I repeated as soon as the wave of pain was over. 

“Yes, you can.” In the chaos, it took my mind to register that that was a new voice, a familiar voice…

Opening my eyes, I looked to my left and gasped seeing Paul standing there. 

“You can do this Leigh.” He insisted, reaching to pull my hand from the mattress to lace with his. “You are strong enough and I’m right here. Listen to the doctor and push.” 

Crying now for an entirely different reason, I nodded weakly and when the next contraction came I pushed with everything I had. 

“You made it.” I whispered between the next contractions before taking the mask from the nurse and taking a few deep breaths. 

“I told you I’d be here.” Paul insisted. “Now let’s have a baby okay.” 

Continuing to push on each contraction was the most exhausting experience of my entire life. It felt like it had been forever and I wasn’t sure I had the energy to keep going. 

“Leigh. Look at me.” Paul said. “You’re doing so good. Just keep going. You are strong enough.” That wasn’t true and I shook my head a bit as Paul squeezed my hand. “You are.” 

Pushing again, my doctor stated that she could see the head and to give her another big push on the next contraction. 

“That’s it. Pause Leigh.” She instructed. “We’ve got a head.” 

Taking a few more breaths of gas, I swallowed hard when she asked for another big big push to get the shoulders out. My entire pelvis felt like it was on fire and I screamed again as I tried to push with everything I had left. 

And then suddenly, my scream wasn’t the only one in the room. In that moment, the entire world froze as the most magical sound I’d ever heard filled my ears. 

“Here you are mom.” A nurse murmured softly while laying the most beautiful screaming thing carefully onto my chest. 

“Oh my god.” I couldn’t help but whisper taking in the features of the tiny person I’d made. 

______

Paul’s POV

There was absolutely nothing pretty about childbirth. It was loud and it was messy and bloody. But watching Leigh calm the baby girl she had been carrying for so long, I could finally see why people said it was one of the most beautiful things. 

Getting here had been difficult and included renting a private charter which Leigh would never find out about, but now that I was here I couldn’t imagine having missed this for the world. 

“Do you want to cut the cord dad?” A nurse asked me, offering up a pair of scissors. Opening my mouth to correct her, I looked at Leigh, and then all I could do was nod. Taking the scissors, I cut where the nurse instructed me to and then handed the scissors back as another nurse came to gather the baby from Leigh’s chest. 

“Go with her.” Leigh whispered, her voice showing just how exhausted she was. “I’m okay, just stay with her.” She pleaded softly. 

Hesitating for only a moment, I followed the nurse carrying the baby girl as they moved to clean her better and take all of her measurements, and run a few tests as she was a few weeks early. 

By the time we returned to Leigh’s recovery room, she was changed and resting in bed, her eyes fluttering open at the sound of the door. 

Leaving the bassinet containing the baby beside the bed, the nurse stated that she would let me give the updates and to just call if we needed anything. With her baby back in the room, Leigh relatively quickly - she had just given birth - sat up and gathered up the clean and dressed baby girl from the bassinet. 

“Everything okay?” She asked me, brushing a finger lightly over her newborn daughter’s cheek. 

“Yeah. She passed all her tests, no surprise considering her mom.” I assured her, a smile on the corner of my lips. “Just over six pounds, I can’t remember how long but it’s on the label.” I pointed to it on the side of the bassinet where it just read “Baby Girl Thompson.” 

“Good.” She breathed, just taking in the baby girl for a few minutes before patting the spot on the bed beside her for me to sit. “You made it.” She whispered looking up at me in a way that made me want nothing more than to kiss her even though I couldn’t. 

“Told you I’d be here.” I shrugged, giving in to the urge to at least lean in and kiss the top of her head. “You made a really cute kid.” I added, swiping a finger lightly over the arm of the baby girl. 

Leigh just smiled and continued to hold her baby for a few minutes before asking me to call a nurse to get a bottle ready. She had decided against breastfeeding a while ago and while I knew that wasn’t the most popular choice all that mattered was that the baby was fed. 

Watching her feed the baby for a few minutes, I excused myself to the bathroom to piss and splash some water on my face. I hadn’t been able to sleep on the flight, worried the entire time about Leigh, and having woken up at 4am Arizona time, I was exhausted and starving. 

Stepping back into the room, I couldn’t help but smile despite it all, Leigh just had that effect. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” I questioned and the look of not knowing that crossed Leigh’s face told me everything. “Okay…better question what do you want to eat?” 

“A steak would be good.” She murmured and immediately I fished my phone from my pocket to pull up a list of local restaurants. 

“Steak it is,” I assured her, finding the place locally with the best reviews and showing her the menu so that we could place an order for pickup. “I’ll go grab this and bring it back, okay? You’ve got the nurses if you need anything in the meantime.” 

Receiving her nod, I kissed her head again murmuring that I was proud of her before slipping from the room to go get an early dinner. 

****

By the time I returned to the room, the curtains were drawn and the lights were dimmed signaling that Leigh had settled in for a short nap while her baby also slept. Moving quietly, I unpacked the take-out containers before kissing her head softly and murmuring to her that food was here. I knew she needed the sleep but she also needed the food to give her strength after her ordeal. 

Watching her stir, I smiled softly. 

“You should eat while it’s still warm,” I commented while digging into my own food. “Thank you.” She said and the way she looked at me suggested that the words were meant to extend beyond just thanks for the food. 

“It’s no problem.” 

After eating in silence, I moved to retrieve a small box from the bag I had brought up with me this time since I wasn’t in a rush. Sitting it on the table in front of her I moved to slide into the chair on the other side of the bed. 

“What’s this?” She asked me and smirking softly I just gestured for her to open it. Inside was a simple opal necklace on a silver chain, representative of the baby girl she had just delivered. 

“Paul.” She breathed softly. 

“Dustbunny is lucky she was due close enough to the end of October that I had a contingency plan in place already.” 

“Paul. You shouldn’t have.” Leigh insisted. “It’s too much. You just being here is already too much.” 

“It’s not too much,” I informed her. “You just gave birth to a six-pound human, you deserve something that’s a little sparkly.” 

Not letting her argue, I took the box from her and gently removed the necklace before urging her to move her hair aside while I clasped the chain around her neck. 

“There. Perfect.” 

Sighing, Leigh gave in and ran her fingers over the necklace. Her face was thoughtful for a moment before she opened her mouth. 

“Do you want to hold her? Have you held her yet?” She asked. 

“I haven’t,” I replied, stomach swirling with nerves at the thought of hurting her. “But I don’t want to hurt her. 

Leigh looked at me like that was the stupidest thing I’d ever said which we both knew was far from true. 

“You’re not going to hurt her. Come here.” She directed, picking up the baby girl from the bassinet before patting the spot beside her. 

Sitting where she directed, I peered down at the tiny infant in Leigh’s arms. 

“Just slide a hand under her head and support her butt.” Leigh directed, carefully transferring the baby, my dustbunny, into my arms. She was so small and after a moment, tiny eyes fluttered open to look up at me. 

“She says hi,” Leigh murmured. 

Staring at those tiny eyes and that sweet button nose, it felt like nothing else mattered and I knew that I would do everything in my power to protect her always. 

“Do you want to know her name?” Leigh asked me. 

“Sure,” I replied, not daring to take my eyes off the baby for even a second. 

“Allison Kinsley Thompson. Little Allie.” She declared and hearing the name the baby girl turned her head to look at her mom like yes that’s me. 

“Beautiful just like her.” I agreed. 

“It seemed fitting.” Leigh nodded. “Especially since the feminine forms of Paul just aren’t my cup of tea and Alberta is a province in Canada. We decided we’d just steak the first syllable instead and that was good enough.” 

When her words finally sank in, my throat got thick and moisture pooled in my eyes. 

“Wait. Are you…is she?” 

“Named after you? Yeah, Paul.” Leigh stated, sliding a hand along my knee. “I wouldn’t have made it through the pregnancy or delivery without you. It’s only right she’s named after you.” 

“Leigh…” I wasn’t regularly a crier but at the moment it was inevitable. Laying her head on my shoulder, Leigh just watched Allie as she stretched and wiggled a bit before yawning and closing her little eyes again. 

“Nap with us for a bit.” Leigh insisted, showing me how to shift the baby to rest against my shoulder and making room for me beside her so we could all lay down. 

****

When we awoke, Leigh changed and fed Allie again before finally making the phone calls to her family announcing the baby’s arrival. She then insisted I call the guys, first to finally explain why I missed recording today’s podcast but also to introduce them to the newest member of the crew. 

It was only after all of that was done and Leigh was settled into bed, Allie in the bassinet beside her once more so they both could rest that I looked through the pictures we’d taken over the course of the afternoon. There was no way to even describe everything I was feeling now but as I selected a few pictures I did my best to put it all into words. 

There was no doubt in my mind that tomorrow I would be waking up a different man than I was this morning. 

And that was all because of Leigh and Allie. 

Social Media: 

Leigh’s necklace: 

“What in the world?” I found myself mumbling as a cheer took over the group at the sight of me. 

“It’s a baby shower.” Grinnell voiced. “Well sorta.” Immediately my eyes filled with tears at the fact that they had even thought to put anything together for me. 

“Don’t cry.” Paul murmured, appearing beside me, his hand falling to my lower back as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “It’s just a little something. No big deal.” He insisted. He guided me to sit in one of the more comfortable chairs, quickly handing me a bottle of water. As the stack of presents was moved to the ground beside me, I could feel Paul’s eyes on my body. The weight of his gaze made me uncomfortable because the last thing I needed was more people taking note of how large I was. 

My focus was shifted when a present was set on top of my bump by Whit and everyone settled back into chairs to watch me open them. By the end of my work baby shower, it was clear that my little girl was going to be decked out in spittin chiclets merchandise. The guys had gifted me everything from onesies to hats to matching pink denim jackets for the pink whitney girls. Additionally, there was a stack of children’s books and a plush hockey stick along with a few other toys. It was all so incredibly sweet and I felt so loved, even if I was still annoyed at them as sweat gathered along every crease of my skin. Just when I thought we were done, Paul handed me one more present and I opened it to find the softest stuffed rabbit. 

“A bunny for dust bunny.” I breathed, tearing up once more. “Thank you,” I added, directing the comment at all of the guys though my eyes stayed locked on Paul’s. Leaning down, he moved to pull me into a hug and as he stood back up his hand rested against the side of my bump for just a moment. Almost immediately though, a sharp kick resounded from inside me, directed right at Paul’s hand and his eyes went wide. His hand didn’t move right away and a second and then third kick quickly followed the first. 

“That’s…” Paul said, his voice suddenly tight.  

“Okay, little one that’s enough,” I replied, my hand falling to my stomach right beside Paul’s. “I know you just wanted to say hi but that’s mama you’re beating up in there.” Though Paul pulled his hand back, a look of shock remained on his face. 

“Is that the first time you’ve felt a baby kick?” I asked him, reaching my hand out for him to pull me to my feet because I had been sitting too long and needed to stretch. He nodded, still at a loss for words, and I smiled drawing his hand back to my stomach to see if it would make dust bunny kick again. It was clear she sensed the new touch because she once again responded immediately, her tiny feet shifting inside of me. 

“Fuck.” Paul cursed, his eyes wet by the time he finally pulled his hand away. Seeing his reaction to her movements was a moment I doubted I’d forget any time soon but those emotions were quickly quashed by the feeling of the sun beating down on me. 

“Alright...it’s time for me to go back inside. It’s too darn hot out here.” I explained. “And I don’t want to hear a word about it. When you guys are heavily pregnant during the summer, then you can throw around chirps. 

______

Propped up in bed later that night, I watched as Paul lay with his head on my thigh, talking to and pressing the occasional kiss to my bump. It was so obvious that he was going to be completely wrapped around her finger once she was born if he wasn’t already and for the first time in weeks I felt an unknown tension slip out of my body. 

“You’re incredible you know…” Paul whispered, lifting his head just a bit to look up at me. When my eyebrow quirked in response, Paul leaned up a little more. “I mean you’re growing another person inside of you right now. You’re providing her protection and food and oxygen and soon she’ll become her own little entity. It’s incredible.” 

“Women do this all of the time,” I replied, sure it was cool and pretty incredible but it was how nature worked so it wasn’t like I was doing anything that was any more special than any other mother. 

“That may be true but it’s still incredible.” Paul insisted. “Only a bit longer until she’s here.” He mused, his fingers tracing over the area where my little girl had just kicked, having watched the way my belly flexed because of her tiny feet. 

“Don’t remind me.” I sighed, biting gently at my lower lip. 

“What’s wrong Leigh? I thought you’d be so ready for her to be here?” He asked, his hand sliding to lace his fingers with mine. 

“I am ready for her to be here.” I insisted. “I’m just not ready for the whole labor thing.” 

Paul’s face went pensive, his fingers just tracing patterns against my own. 

“I mean you’re going to have your mom there right?” He questioned causing me to let out an even bigger sigh. 

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “My mother is the queen of all worriers and I don’t know if having her there would help or just cause me more stress.” This wasn’t the first time I’d thought about this and time and time again I’d come to the same conclusion. “I guess I’m just going to be on my own.” Paul was silent for a minute, multiple emotions shifting across his face. 

“Is there someone you’d want to have there?” He eventually inquired, his voice barely audible. Hints of a frown appeared on my face as what seemed impossible crossed my mind once more. It wasn’t something I’d ever ask, not after everything. “Leigh…” Paul trailed off. “Do you want me there when she’s born?” Weakly I nodded and Paul immediately sat up, pulling me against his chest as best he could. 

“You make me feel calm,” I mumbled into his shoulder. “You make me feel like I can do anything.” My voice dropped significantly as I started crying into his shoulder, all of the overwhelming thoughts bubbling over the edge. “I can’t imagine doing it without you.” With his lips pressed against my temple and his hand rubbing up and down my back, eventually, I regained control of my emotions. 

“I’ll make some calls in the morning okay.” He promised. “I’ll do everything in my power to be there.” With what felt like an elephant-sized weight lifted off of my shoulders I let Paul shift the two of us into our usual sleeping position, one of his knees pressed between mine as his hand rested against my stomach and his body spooned behind me providing a welcome support to my aching back. 

______

When I woke, the sun was peeking through the bedroom curtains. Reaching for my phone I discovered that it was nearly 8am. Needing to pee, I slipped out from under Paul’s arm and moved to the bathroom. This was the first time in over a month I had slept through the night and it didn’t take a genius to figure out just why that was. 

Slowly making my way downstairs, I found Whit sitting at the counter with a mug full of coffee in front of him. 

“Want some breakfast?” I whispered planning on making up a few eggs for myself because I hadn’t had my multiple middle of the night snacks and I was starving. With the launch party scheduled from 12-4pm, I knew everyone would need to get moving sooner rather than later. A large breakfast for everyone was soon made up, and after eating, I made my way back upstairs to shower and get ready while the guys cleaned up the kitchen. 

I’d slipped into my swimsuit before throwing on a maxi dress. Not long after my hair was straightened and I’d put on just some light makeup, certain that anything more would just melt off my face from the sun.  However, there was still one task I needed to take care of and it happened to be the most difficult. 

Twenty minutes later, I was precariously perched on the edge of the tub which contained an inch or so of water when Paul knocked on the door. 

“The guys are ready to go.” He called out through the wood. 

“I need a few more minutes.” I declared, my voice exasperated as I attempted to lean forward to drag the razor along the skin of my legs. After a moment the door gave way and Paul stepped into the small bathroom. 

“What are you…?” He trailed off before quickly shaking his head. 

“Don’t look at me like that okay,” I grumbled. “This is not easy with little miss in the way,” I complained. Another slow pass of the razor up my leg almost sent me tumbling into the tub. 

“Give it here,” Paul demanded. 

“I am quite capable.” I insisted, my stubbornness showing. 

“Leigh just give me the damn razor before you hurt yourself,” Paul repeated, his large frame moving to sit on the lid of the toilet seat. 

“You don’t even know what you’re doing.” I continued, struggling once more to reach my ankles. “I’d rather not have cuts everywhere.” 

Paul ultimately won this battle, and soon I was sitting on the toilet seat while Paul balanced on the edge of the tub, his hands gently holding each of my legs in turn as he slowly and carefully pulled the razor blades along my skin. It was such an intimate action that I struggled not to shiver under his touch. When he was done, he dried my legs off before pulling me to my feet, and after a moment, my sandals were dropped in front of me so all I had to do was slide into them. 

“Now are you ready?” He murmured softly, his gaze soft but teasing. 

“I mean I guess so.” I sighed although today was even hotter than yesterday had been and I was not looking forward to melting under the sun. The guys complained about how long I had taken as I walked into the living room and after flipping them off I grabbed the beach bag I had packed before waddling my way out to the van New Amsterdam had sent. 

____

The Jersey shore was pumping and alcohol was flowing by the time we finally arrived at the beach. Representatives from New Amsterdam met us in a staff tent and it was explained that the guys and drink would be introduced and then they would just have to mingle, chat and take pictures with fans who were trying the drink for the first time. While they did the official things, I sat in a shaded tent trying to keep my water intake up. Soon though, the guys returned and urged me to come out and socialize with people because apparently, people wanted to talk to me too. I wasn’t sure how much of that I was buying but complaining hadn’t seemed to be doing me much good so I went along with things, walking around the beach to talk to people. 

Soon, the guys were pulled into a beach volleyball game. With Paul having tossed his shirt off into the sand at some point, I was met with an eyeful that sent my body temperature spiking even higher. Needing to cool down, I dumped my things somewhere safe and made my way down into the ocean, letting the cool water lap at my skin as it helped make the heat a little less unbearable. 

The heat was back full force though as soon as I climbed out of the ocean and slipped back into my dress and shoes. Running back into Paul I was pulled into the conversation he was having with a group around him and soon I found myself leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped lightly around my waist. As the conversation continued, I closed my eyes and just tried to relax, feeling fatigued and overwhelmingly hot. 

“Leigh?” Paul’s voice filtered through to my ears and I hummed in response. “I called your name multiple times and you didn’t respond...are you okay?” He questioned. 

“Tired. Headache. Hot.” I mumbled and immediately Paul excused us from the group of fans surrounding us. I was led into a tent and Paul disappeared but when he returned I found myself being helped back into the same van as earlier. “Hmm?” I questioned, full thoughts not really forming in my brain right now. 

“Taking you back to the house before you pass out from heat exhaustion,” Paul explained and it wasn’t much longer before he was leading me into the beach house, his hands providing additional balance support as I moved into our bedroom. Already the air conditioning felt wonderful and the feeling of softness along my entire body took the edge off of the achiness that lingered everywhere. 

I must have fallen asleep because the sun was no longer pouring through the window when I next opened my eyes. A bottle of water and some strawberries were sitting on the bedside table. I was finishing off the bowl when Paul appeared in the doorway, concern etched into his expression. 

“Feeling better?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” I replied, rubbing my hand gently over my bump and smiling when I felt my little girl shift in response. 

“Why didn’t you speak up sooner?” He wondered as he moved to sit beside me. 

“I told you guys for weeks that it wasn’t a good idea and no one listened to me,” I mumbled. Immediately concern shifted to guilt and Paul sighed, scraping his nails over the back of his neck. 

“I should have listened.” He admitted. “I’m sorry. I let my desire to see you in person drown out your wants and needs.” Shrugging, I sent him a soft smile to let him know that all was forgiven. “So I have some good news for you.” He declared, shifting topics. “The coyotes agreed to give me two weeks off. So I was thinking I’d come out a week before your due date and stay the full two weeks so hopefully, I can help you out for at least a few days once she arrives.” 

The knowledge that he was willing to fly across the country to be there to support me and this little girl through labor and the first little bit after her arrival meant the world and I couldn’t control the tears pouring down my cheeks. As quickly as they fell, Paul’s thumbs were wiping them away. “I take it that works for you…” He surmised. “At least I’m hoping these are happy tears. Sometimes I can’t tell anymore with the way you start crying at the drop of a hat.” He teased. 

Though he teased about my emotions going haywire, he never complained and took whatever I threw at him, letting anything negative roll right off of his back. I owed him more thank yous than I could ever say and shifting my body, I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly as my little girl squirmed inside of me. 

“Paul…” I breathed, not sure myself whether my intent was to tell him to stop or to encourage him to keep going. This was wrong on so many levels but at the same time, my hormones were going crazy and they were going crazy for this man. 

“What sweetheart? Did you really think you wouldn’t wake me with all of the shifting and moaning you were doing?” He questioned, his voice deeper than before as his mouth shifted to the shell of my ear. “You must have been dreaming about something good…” He teased. “Dreaming about me?” He inquired and though I couldn’t remember what I had been dreaming about, I now realized the wetness that had flooded my core creating a sticky feeling between my thighs. 

With Paul’s hips still rocking against mine, it was impossible not to let out another moan. It had been so long since I had been wanted and I was at the stage of my pregnancy where my body was screaming to be touched. 

“Need you to tell me you want this Leigh.” Paul groaned. “Need your permission to touch you.” Without my brain actually engaging, a soft ‘yes’ slipped from my throat, my body arching into Paul’s. Now that the offer was on the table I needed to know if the man was as good in bed as he claimed to be. 

The second he gained consent, Paul’s fingers slipped from their place at my hips, down to where I needed him most. 

“Fuck...you’re so wet.” He hissed, his fingers sliding easily over my flesh as he urged my clit out from under its hood. “You need me as bad as I need you, huh gorgeous?” He rambled. Words were not a thing my brain was able to form as I just focused on the way Paul’s touch was making me feel. Instead, my body just melded to his, silently encouraging him to continue everything that he was doing. 

“Need to be inside you. Can I?” He questioned, his hands making me whine as he pulled them away to shift them to push at the fabric of my underwear. 

“Paul...please.” I managed to gasp and without another word, Paul maneuvered our bodies to slide into me from behind. The stretch of my body around his cock ached for just a moment before I relaxed around him. His breathing was heavy in my ear as he forced himself to remain still while my body adjusted. It was only after I nodded that I was good that his hips moved once more, his body setting a steady and gentle rhythm of movement inside me. 

Despite the lazy pace, my body was buzzing with pleasure. Everything about this felt incredible and I couldn’t believe that it was all real after denying that things between us had been shifting since I found out about the baby. The sound of Paul’s murmurings and grunts in combination with his easy movements inside of me was quickly pushing me closer and closer to climax. The way his body felt against mine was like we were made to fit together and I cried out as he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of me. 

“You feel so incredible. I’m so close.” Paul groaned against me. “Please tell me you’re close.” He added and for a moment I could feel that familiar warmth and tension starting to spread inside of me, ready to crest and send me flying. It was right there....close enough to touch. 

And then suddenly...I woke up. 

My skin was drenched with sweat and my heart was racing but it felt like a cold bucket of water had been dumped on me as I let out a shaky breath. Glancing behind me, Paul was snoring loudly, his left hand pressed against my bump while his right rested under my head. Tears pricked at my eyes as I realized it had all just been a dream and I slowly shifted out from under Paul’s arm to retreat to the bathroom, quickly checking to ensure that my movements hadn’t disturbed him. 

Of course it was a dream. Of course it wasn’t real. My hormones had been so crazy lately that of course it was all just some crazy fantasy. 

But it had felt so real and I hated myself for that. 

Staring at my reflection in the mirror I tried to tell myself that it was just the hormones, that there wasn’t anything else at play. Paul and I were just coworkers and friends and that was all we would ever be. Any thoughts to the contrary were just childish daydreams. 

Needless to say, the second half didn’t go as well as the first...the damn yips taking over. Though we’d had the lead and secured dinner, for some reason Whit felt like giving the losers a second chance to redeem themselves so it was determined that we were only up 1 hole with two remaining. Whit came up just short for birdie leaving us square to start the 18th hole. 

Just as we reached the final tee, my phone rang, Leigh’s picture filling my screen. If it had been anyone else I would have ignored it but there was no way I could ignore her so I grabbed my phone and stepped slightly away as I answered. 

“What’s up?” I questioned. “We’re on the 18th hole with Sid and Nate.” Before she even responded I could hear the hitch in her breath and my heart raced with concern for why she would be crying, though lately, it didn’t take much to make her cry...pregnancy hormones. 

“I forgot.” She admitted, her watery voice cracking. 

“It’s fine. What’s up?” I repeated my question, my stomach twisting as I waited for her answer. 

“It’s a girl.” She whispered. Immediately my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

“What?” The word slipped out while my brain was rushing to process. 

“Dustbunny...she’s a girl.” I had totally forgotten that Leigh had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for today. Without even realizing it, tears had pooled in my eyes and I let out a shaky laugh as I tried to blink them away. Deep down I knew that she was hoping for a girl and so I knew just how much this news meant to her. 

“That’s incredible.” I finally managed my throat tight. “Congratulations.” Though the concept of her really having a baby had become more concrete for me in Vegas seeing her bump, now it really did feel real. In just a few months there would be this little human who looked like her mom hanging around and the thought of that was almost too much. 

With Whit calling my name from the course, I signaled for him to give me just a minute but it was clear that Leigh heard it and she murmured that I should get back to the game. But before she hung up she made one final statement. 

“You can tell the guys if you want. And uh...let them know I’ll make a public announcement in the next couple days but to keep it to themselves until then please.” 

“Course.” I murmured, my brain still operating mostly on autopilot as it worked over the news she’d just dropped on me. “I uh...I’ll talk to you and dustbunny later.” 

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Now go have fun.” She added just before the line went dead. Frantically I tried to pull myself together, wiping at my eyes and pocketing my phone.

It was my turn up at the tee and as I tried to focus, laughter came at me from all directions. Whether it was the laughter or the thought of Leigh and her daughter racing through my mind, as I swung at the ball I sliced it way left and the laughter took full force. 

“Fuck off okay,” I mumbled, moving to sit on a bench, my nails scraping over my scalp. 

“What the fuck was that?” Whit demanded. “You take one phone call and make the worst shot of the day?” There was nothing but silence as we made our way down to the green and as we waited for Sid to putt Whit looked over at me. “Everything okay?” He asked, voice calmer. “I’m assuming that was Leigh.” 

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Everything’s good.” Whit looked at me skeptically before taking his turn and after sinking his putt for the win he paused. 

“Okay, Biz...spill.” He stated, leaning against his club. “You’ve been all hyped up all day and now you’re quiet. What was that call about?” 

“She’s having a girl.” I breathed, tossing my club back in the bag before reaching for a bottle of water to try and calm my still racing heart down. 

“Who’s having a girl?” Nate inquired, clearly confused by the statement. 

“Leigh. Our business manager.” Whit explained. “That’s awesome, I’m sure she’s over the moon.” 

“Wait...she’s pregnant?” Sid asked, having obviously paid no mind to her growing bump when they met just a week or so ago. 

“Yeah. It’s complicated.” I expressed. “And she is over the moon. She was crying over the phone.” I added, once again scratching my head. It was left unspoken, but not unnoticed by Whit that I had been crying over the news too and we made our way over to a little cafe to record both interviews, my mind gradually refocusing as I focused back in on hockey and the world surrounding it. 

~~~

It wasn’t until we were a few drinks into a delicious dinner courtesy of Sid and Nate that Leigh was brought up as conversation again. 

It had happened casually, Sid inquiring as to what we had upcoming for the podcast. Whit went into a ramble on the secret project we’d been working on for months, a Pink Whitney vodka, and how we had a launch party for that planned for Labor Day weekend. Then RA brought up how each of us was working to pick up some of the management job duties so that Leigh could have a proper maternity leave when the time arose. That triggered Nate inquiring about the whole baby thing and I quickly had to vaguely explain that Leigh wasn’t with the baby’s father and that we were close friends because she’d been with me in Arizona when she found out. 

We’d just downed another round of drinks when Whit threw the first real punch. 

“So Biz….when are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...we’re just friends.” I lied, doing everything I could to keep my facial expressions neutral. 

“That’s bullshit and everyone else can see it besides the two of you.” He tossed back. “You look at her like she’s the goddamn stanley cup. I haven’t seen you even look at another woman in months. If you aren’t talking about work you’re talking about Leigh and the baby so stop playing. You’re in love with her.” 

If it weren’t for the drinks I’d already consumed I probably wouldn’t have admitted to anything. But with the drinks, I felt my palms start to sweat and my filter let a few too many thoughts slip through. 

“Of course I love her,” I mumbled. “She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s absolutely stunning, and she has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. She’s handled everything thrown at her with far more grace than I ever could have and she’s going to be an absolutely incredible mom.” Downing the rest of my last drink I sighed heavily. “But we’re just friends and it’s going to stay that way.” 

“So you love her and you obviously love her baby...what’s the fucking problem?” Whit pushed. 

“The problem is that she deserves more. Better.” At those words, every head at the table turned to look at me. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” RA questioned, his tone brusque. 

“It means that she could do so much better than me. I don’t exactly have the best reputation with women or in general. She deserves someone that can match her in intelligence and who won’t fucking stain her name with his own. She deserves someone who isn’t mentally fucked up...who doesn’t experience episodes where he can barely take care of himself let alone her and the baby. She deserves stability.” 

After spilling out all of the reasons why friends was all we were ever going to be, I expected some resistance, what I didn’t expect was Whit to bust out laughing at me. Glaring at him I clenched my jaw and he just shook his head. 

“You’re a fucking moron Paul. You’re making excuses as to why you aren’t good enough for her and she’s making excuses as to why she’s not good enough for you when in reality you’re perfect for each other.” 

“What are you talking about?” I pressed, swirling the ice in my glass aimlessly. 

“I’m talking about the fact that she told Brie she didn’t think that you’d ever even have sex with her because she’s not your type. She minimizes anything you feel for her proclaiming that it’s just the baby you’re attached to. She thinks that all you’d ever want to be is Uncle Paul so how could you possibly want to pursue more when a relationship with her would come with the baggage of a baby that’s not yours. She’s just as insecure as you are….but I guarantee you that the way you’re shaking your head about the things she’s worried about would be the same way she’d react to the things you’re worried about.” 

It baffled me to think that Leigh thought I wouldn’t want her. At the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if that expression meant that she actually did want me. For a while, conversation traveled back to less serious topics but before we headed back to the hotel for the night Whit pulled me aside one more time. 

“Look I get you have your own concerns and that you’re worried about unnecessarily dumping something else onto her plate but don’t let either of those fears keep you from something that could be great. Now may not be the right time, but I’ve seen the two of you together and you both bring out the best parts of each other...so just be patient and things will work out like they’re supposed to.” 

It wasn’t until I was settled into bed that I was able to watch the ultrasound video Leigh had sent me. Between that and dinner’s conversation, the moment that I closed my eyes, too many thoughts, thoughts of Leigh and the baby she was carrying, filled my mind making sleep impossible. Was it really possible that she felt the same way I did? Did I want to play a role more than Uncle in this baby’s life? Was she ready to move on after having her heart crushed not once, not twice, but three times? 

~~~

Just like she had said, Leigh dropped her pregnancy announcement as we were leaving Nova Scotia. Swiping through the photos I couldn’t help but be mesmerized at the way her bump had grown in the short time since I’d seen her last. She was very obviously pregnant now and though her photos only barely showed her face it was easy to see how much pregnancy suited her and how she was glowing because of it. 

Unsurprisingly the announcement garnered some attention both positive and negative. There were people both in her personal life and around the league that were absolutely thrilled for her. Then there were people that had very much jumped to conclusions as she expected they would and though there really wasn’t anything I could do, I was angry that I couldn’t protect her from their harsh words and suspicions. If I thought she’d let me, I’d chew out every idiot on the internet but deep down I knew that kind of attention would only make things worse. Instead, I focused on distracting her away from that content, asking questions about her plans for a nursery while trying to hide the feelings that were getting harder and harder to suppress.  

By the time her birthday arrived in the second week of July, I was determined to do something special for her. Though we were once again on opposite sides of the country I had been planning for her birthday since we left Vegas. In addition to sending flowers, I’d booked her a pregnancy massage session hoping to help alleviate some of the aches and pains she’d been complaining of. It didn’t seem like much to me but when she called after her appointment raving over how much better she felt, it was evident that my gesture was appreciated. Though I didn’t generally make posts for others on their birthdays, I felt compelled to share a few photos of the woman who had brightened my life up just by being a part of it. It was a little sappy but if anyone deserved it, it was her. 

Though we talked almost daily and her selfies came more frequently as dustbunny continued growing, I still found myself counting the days until I would see her in person next. And to be frank, it couldn’t come soon enough. I was completely screwed...but to be honest there was a part of me that knew that the moment I first laid eyes on her. 

Chapter 10 Social Media:

Though he hadn’t said it, I knew Paul was trying to get me to forget about the red carpet so that it didn’t dampen the rest of the evening. After all, we still had the awards themselves as well as the after-party ahead of us. As we made our way to our seats, Paul occasionally stopped to talk to someone he knew, taking a moment to introduce me as his favorite business manager and date for the evening to each person. The more introductions we got through with no one even noticing my baby bump, the more relaxed I became at the thought that maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as I feared. As Paul had assured me through his texts when he invited me, even if it was noticeable, now that we were mostly away from the media, no one seemed likely to bring it up. 

Settled into my seat next to Paul as the awards started I couldn’t help but feel my natural smile returning, the forced smile I had plastered on in the car slowly leaving my face. The first trophy presented was the Calder and it was no surprise when Elias Pettersson was announced as the winner. He’d had such a stellar season and it was really cool getting to see someone so young experience their first career award knowing that it was likely to be the first of many. 

Next came the Lady Byng award, and I couldn’t help the laugh that spilled out of me when Aleksander Barkov commented on there being more fans from Finland than from Florida present. It was a classic hockey chirp and I peeked over at Paul to find that he was looking over at me, a lazy grin on his face. 

The GM of the year award was given to Don Sweeney from the Bruins and I felt Paul squeeze my hand a little tighter as he talked about his premature sons being his inspiration in his acceptance speech. The moment was heavy for me personally and it was clear that it was for Paul as well by the change in his breathing. As soon as Jason Zucker finished his speech for the King Clancy Award, Paul and Whit moved to slip backstage to prepare for their presentation and Brie slid over a few chairs to sit next to me. 

The Norris was given to Mark Giordano of the Calgary Flames and I smiled as he thanked his wife and kids for always putting a smile on his face after a rough night. Hockey is about family after all and it’s always nice to see more of the behind the scenes people get the credit they deserve. Following the presentation of the Norris, Auston Matthews was named as the cover athlete for NHL20 and I couldn’t help but cringe at the fact that he had sweat through his suit. 

Paul and Whit presented the Masterton Trophy, and knowing the struggles that Paul had with depression toward the end of his own career it seemed fitting. The award was given to Robin Lehner and his quote on the fact that being mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re mentally weak stuck with me because it was something that could apply to all of us at times. I could see Paul almost getting emotional on stage and it made it hard for me to fight back my own hormonal tears. 

The Selke was awarded to O’Reilly and the Jack Adams to Trotz while we waited for the guys to return to their seats, Brie sliding back to her own after sending me a smile and squeezing my hand gently. As Paul settled back in beside me I felt the baby shift, a soft flutter followed by pressure against my bladder. Thankfully the show was more than halfway over and while I wished the baby would shift off of my bladder it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle. 

Any thoughts of my bladder were quickly silenced as a discussion about Anderson Whitehouse’s prior meeting with Carey Price was brought up as the next segment for the NHL Fan Choice Feel Good Moment. I remembered having cried the first time I saw it and it was clear that I was going to cry again as tears filled my eyes when Anderson was brought onto the stage and the presenter cued up a video from Carey Price himself. 

“Carey is here.” I leaned over and whispered to Biz who looked at me like I was crazy until the man himself appeared on the stage to surprise his biggest fan. The second the two embraced the tears poured and Paul had to reach over with his pocket square in an attempt to prevent me from completely ruining my makeup. At the same time, he was openly crying as well and my heart panged once more knowing that this was affecting him as much as it did me. Men not being afraid of showing emotion was something I loved and was clearly just another factor that drew me to appreciate Paul as a coworker and friend. As the whole audience gave them a standing ovation, Paul’s hand drifted once more to my back rubbing gently. 

The Vezina, Messier, and Willie O’Ree awards were some of the last of the night and as each was presented, my growing need to use the bathroom lingered in the back of my mind, slowly becoming more urgent. 

It wasn’t at all surprising that Nikita Kucherov won both the Hart and Ted Lindsay trophies for MVP after the season he’d had and I laughed softly as Paul whispered that they were working on scoring him for an interview at some point. As the award show concluded, we lingered in our seats for a moment before Paul moved to track down more people to talk to. He was such an extrovert that it honestly made me cringe sometimes and as he engaged himself in another conversation I moved to steal Brie from Ryan. 

“I need to use the bathroom asap. Come find it with me?” I requested. With Ryan aware of where we were, the two of us headed off and by the time I finished using the bathroom given the bump and the dress, Ryan had texted that the guys were waiting for us in the lobby so that we could head to the after-party. 

___

By the time we got through Vegas traffic to the after-party, music was already playing on the rooftop bar, alcohol was flowing, and trays of food were being passed around. Leaving me with Ryan and Brie, Paul went to grab drinks for the four of us and when he returned he passed me a cup murmuring that I should just trust him. There was never a doubt that I trusted him so while I had expected to be drinking water all night, I tried the drink Paul had provided and immediately I was hooked as a sweet fruity tang hit my tongue. Chatting with Ryan and Brie for a few minutes about the awards, it wasn’t long until someone approached to chat with the guys. For almost an hour I just stood, tucked into Paul’s side as he chatted with various players about the podcast, hockey, and any shared histories. 

Eventually though, my back started to ache and my feet hurt. I didn’t want to interrupt so I didn’t say anything at first, but eventually, Paul leaned down to whisper in my ear that I should go sit on one of the many couches for a bit and just rest. Nodding, I sent him a soft smile before bowing out of the conversation and heading across the room toward an unoccupied couch. 

I’d been just people watching for about ten or fifteen minutes when another woman approached. 

“Mind if I join you?” She questioned and after assuring her she could my brain finally pieced together who it was that had joined me. Vero Fleury. While Flower hadn’t been nominated for any awards tonight, clearly they had decided to take advantage of their residence in Vegas to come hang out with friends and enjoy the party the NHL put on. 

Though I knew who she was, she introduced herself after a moment. 

“Leigh Thompson,” I replied. “I’m here with Biz.” I clarified knowing that she was probably wondering how I made my way into a private party. 

“Biz’s date...how’d you get wrapped into that?” She teased and I laughed in response knowing that question was beyond accurate. 

“I’m the business manager for the podcast and he knows I owe him,” I responded my tone light. “I just don’t owe him enough to endure a sore back and achy feet the entire night,” I added, causing her to laugh softly. For a moment I could feel her eyes on me and she shifted a bit closer so she didn’t have to speak as loudly. 

“I remember those days.” She murmured. “It’s all so worth it though.” She assured me and realizing that she had noticed my bump I nodded. 

“I sure hope so. Because this little one is wreaking havoc on my body already.” I replied. “Don’t get me wrong...I love them. But single parenthood is hard.” For just a moment I let my hand brush over my bump before resting it at my side again. 

“I can only imagine.” Vero murmured and instead of dwelling on that she pulled her phone out of her clutch, opening it to pictures of her girls and their newborn son. For the next little bit, I chatted with her about what to expect with a newborn, the joys and hardships that being a parent brought. I mentioned having to figure out how to make a nursery look like a nursery without being able to paint or hang more than a few things on the walls and Vero immediately jumped into suggestions. 

Eventually, Marc-Andre came over to join her and after pushing back my star-struck expression, he chatted about his son and daughters before diving into some stories I could use against Paul if I ever needed them. It wasn’t long before I was laughing with the two of them and had lost track of time. It had been nearly an hour since I had sat down before Paul appeared beside me, his brown eyes just a little glassy from the alcohol he’d consumed so far. 

With Paul insisting that there was someone he wanted to introduce me to, I was pulled away from the couch...but not before exchanging cell info with Vero who had insisted that I reach out if I had any questions or just needed someone else to talk to about everything that was rapidly changing in my life. She added that she would send me product suggestions and ideas for the nursery once she was home and had more time to check some things out. I was absolutely interested in whatever advice she had to give because it had been almost two decades since my mom had my sisters and having a baby was certainly different now than it had been then. 

With Paul’s guiding hand on my back again, any unease I’d been feeling from being by myself vanished. Crossing the room, Paul immediately butted his way into a conversation. 

“Sid...this is who I wanted you to meet.” He declared and instantly a flush crossed my cheeks as I realized that I was now standing in front of the first player I’d ever had a crush on. “Sid. This is our business manager Leigh. She’s a lifelong pens fan.” A million different thoughts flooded through my body, the first of which being that I needed to kill Paul for not giving a girl some warning. Instead, though I did my best to compose myself, reaching out a hand to shake Sid’s outstretched one. 

Sid was gracious as always, immediately inquiring about how I’d picked the pens as a team and after responding that it was just kind of what happens when you’re born in Pittsburgh he laughed and nodded, his familiar giggles even better in person than they are on video. Pausing, I commented on how I needed to thank him because it was his being drafted that had gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life and while the rest of the conversation was honestly a bit of a blur, at the end of it, Paul insisted that I take a picture with Sid for posterity's sake. 

Sid was subsequently pulled away and immediately I leaned into Paul’s chest, trying to quell the rapid beating of my heart. 

“I hate you. Give a girl some warning next time.” I mumbled, causing Paul to laugh. 

“Do you hate me too much to dance with me?” He inquired, his gaze soft as he looked down at me. The song had just switched to something slow and without even really thinking about it, my hand accepted Paul’s extended one letting him lead me out to the dance floor. 

Swaying softly, his hands fell to my waist and mine drifted to link behind his neck. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” He questioned softly. Nodding in response, I bit back a yawn. “Good I’m glad.” He added. “Thank you for tonight. I know this isn’t really your scene but it means the world to me that you agreed to come.” We danced until the song came to a close and after talking with a few more people Paul asked if I was ready to head out. 

Back at the hotel, Paul helped me with the zipper on my dress before disappearing into the bathroom to change from his suit. After changing, we readied for bed in a comfortable silence and then slid into bed together, Paul’s arms wrapping back around me, his hands stroking over my belly until my eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. Even more so than before, I felt safe, warm, and cared about while cuddled against his 6’2” frame. It was a feeling that was welcome but terrifying all at the same time. 

Chapter 8 Social Media: 

The sensation was gone as quickly as it had started until another laugh sounded from the living room. Walking toward the bedroom door, I opened it quietly and stood there just listening and waiting for another laugh, hoping it would make this little girl or boy move again. Though the boys were in the middle of an interview, the moment Paul saw me and the tears rolling down my cheeks he sent me a concerned look and moved to get up. Shaking my head, I motioned for him to continue, now drawing the attention of the rest of the boys and their guest. Keep laughing. I mouthed, causing Paul’s eyebrow to raise in confusion. The story being told continued on and after a minute or two Paul’s laugh sounded through the room again, followed by the rapid flutterings of the baby’s movements. 

I remained in the doorway to the living room until the boys wrapped things up a few minutes later and as soon as they were done recording, Paul was out of his chair and moving over to me. 

“Is everything okay?” He murmured softly and I found myself laughing softly as I nodded. 

“Your laugh woke me up because apparently dustbunny likes it. I just felt the baby move for the first time Paul.” His eyes grew wide as he looked down at me, his hand falling to my waist. 

“Wait what? The baby moved?” He questioned. 

“Yeah... I’ve been waiting to feel it because all the books say you should by 22 weeks and I was beginning to worry that I hadn’t yet.” I knew without him even asking that he was wondering if he’d be able to feel it and I shrugged softly. “It’s not a kick or anything yet...more like a feeling of bubbles or something. It’ll be a few more weeks before someone else could feel but god Paul...it’s incredible.” 

The smile on my face made him smile, though I knew he was slightly disappointed that he couldn’t feel. Hugging me gently, he murmured that he was glad that everything was okay and then looking at the clock murmured for me to go get my shower. 

“Fine...if you insist.” I teased softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek before turning to slip back into our room to gather my things for a shower. 

_____

Half an hour later I was clean, shaven, and moisturized. After quickly blow-drying my hair I returned to the bedroom, smiling when I found a button down shirt laid out with a scratchy handwritten note on top of it.

Here’s the button up I promised. Also Brie expects you to take your things over to get ready with her just FYI. The boys and I will bring you back some food in a bit but I probably won’t see you until it’s time to go. Enjoy your girl time. 

Paul

It made me smile that he remembered our conversation from a few days ago where I’d demanded he bring me a spare button up because none of my own fit anymore and I didn’t want to have to struggle with getting a normal shirt off over completed hair and makeup. 

I was a little surprised that Ryan’s wife, Brie, wanted to get ready together because I actually hadn’t met her yet. Still, I gathered up my makeup bag, hair supplies, dress and sandals and headed across the hall, knocking gently at the bedroom door that Ryan had walked out of this morning. 

Brie was so welcoming as she took my things, hanging my dress over the door before taking the rest into the bathroom where her things were already spread out over the counter. As soon as her hands were free, her arms were wrapped around me in a hug. 

“I’m so glad I finally get to meet you. Ryan has not shut up about you since you started working with them. He’s constantly bragging about the events you’re planning and how revenues have grown already.” She exclaimed, causing me to blush having never been one to take compliments well. As she pulled back her eyes widened for a moment. “And oh my god. The baby. Look at you...you’re glowing.” Her excitement was a little bit overwhelming but nice all the same. 

“I just felt the baby move for the first time so that probably has something to do with it.” I explained. 

“It’s the most incredible feeling isn’t it?” She declared rhetorically and I nodded trying to fight back the tears that were threatening again. 

“Yeah it really is. God I am so emotional lately that it’s driving me crazy.” I admitted, and my confession made her laugh as she nodded in sympathy. 

“I know that feeling well.” Looking over the supplies gracing the counter I realized that her hair was already mostly done and she looked absolutely beautiful. “So..this is your first big event right?” She asked, looking over her shoulder at me. 

“Yep. And I wouldn’t be here if I knew how to tell Biz no. But he’s so goddamn insistent and he’s done so much for me that I guess this is the least I could do.” For a moment I couldn’t read the expression on her face before she turned back to me. 

“We’ll get to all of that…” She trailed off, smirking a bit which scared me just a little. “But first, please tell me that you’ll let me do your hair and makeup.” Neither of those areas were really within my expertise, especially not for something like this so I bit my lip for a moment before sighing. 

“Yes please...I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and I’m already nervous enough about tonight.” Her face was giddy as she quickly looked me over once more, paced out of the room to look at my dress, before returning to plug the curling iron I’d brought into the wall. 

“What are you so nervous about?” She finally asked as she quickly finished up her own hair while waiting for the curling iron to heat up. 

“That the entire world is gonna take one look at me on camera and immediately rumors will be flying about my pregnancy. I mean everyone who matters already knows, and I know I’m going to have to make an announcement eventually because I don’t think I can avoid it working this job, but I want to do it on my terms and not because millions of people see me on the arm of Paul Bissonnette and jump to conclusions. That’s the last thing that either of us need.” Brie was silent through my rant before resting a hand gently on my shoulder. 

“It’s all gonna be fine. You and I can sneak down the red carpet ahead of the guys if we have to and once we’re inside there isn’t anyone who would dare say a word about it even if they did notice.” Her face was reassuring as she took two steps out of the bathroom again before returning and motioning for me to sit on a chair she’d brought in from the living room. “But you’re wearing a maternity dress and your bump isn’t that big so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She added, quickly sectioning my hair before spraying a portion with heat spray and beginning to curl it. 

She worked in silence on my hair for a few minutes, leaving me to my own thoughts. Now that I was fully awake, my brain started to wander. Brie had mentioned vaguely that we’d get back to the subject of Paul and what she was implying by that made me nervous. Then Grinnell’s assumption about Biz being the baby’s father and Ryan’s comment about Biz being differently lately both popped back into my head and suddenly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My hands started shaking and didn’t stop until Brie was squatting in front of me, her hands holding mine. 

“Hey...what’s wrong?” She murmured. “Take a deep breath….in…..out….again.” Following her guidance I forced myself to start breathing again though the implications that everyone was making wouldn’t leave my mind. Brie didn’t say anything else right away, letting me try and put my thoughts into words. 

“Sorry....” I whispered, taking a few more deep breaths. “Just fuck...Mikey assumed Paul was the baby’s father and your husband commented on Paul being different lately and just...what does all of that fucking mean?” Brie’s hands were still resting on my own until I finished and then she stood up again. 

“Well...I mean we all know Mikey isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed…” She declared. “So I wouldn’t really read into that. That assumption is probably more on Biz anyway than it is on you.” 

“Still...that assumption is premised on the idea that Biz would even have sex with me…” I trailed off, flushing slightly. 

“What...you don’t think he would?” Brie asked and when she looked down at my face she nearly gasped. “You really don’t think he would…” 

Flushing further, I shrugged. “I’m just...I think it’s clear that I’m not his type okay. We’re talking about the man that has been with models and porn stars…” Ducking my head, I brushed a hand over my bump and sighed. “As much of a man whore as he is, no I don’t think he’d have sex with me. So Mikey’s assumption could not be further off.” 

For a moment it seemed like Brie wanted to push but then she decided it wasn’t a good idea and instead picked the curling iron back up. 

“I think you’re wrong but I’ll drop it at that.” She murmured curling a few more strands of my hair before speaking again. “As far as my husband’s comments go... you have to at least admit that he is different lately because of you.” My face crinkled with confusion, causing Brie to sigh and continue down her train of thought. “Okay so obviously you didn’t know him before he met you...but Ryan and I did and he is so different now. He doesn’t go out as much, doesn’t talk about his hookups as much. Instead, he’s constantly talking about you. You do realize that he spent the entire morning while they weren’t recording talking to Ryan about the baby right? And he’s happier...so much happier than I’ve ever seen him. He cares a lot.” I couldn’t help but think about all of the nights that were spent with Paul on the other end of the phone. But with the time difference I’d assumed that he was just having his fun once I was asleep.

“I know that he cares about the baby...he’s been such a great friend with all of that.” I could see Brie purse her lips from above me before shaking her head. 

“He cares about you too you know...not just the baby.” 

“I mean yeah...we’re friends…” I breathed and Brie got that look on her face that suggested that I was completely daft. 

“Oh...Leigh...I don’t know whether you’re lying to yourself or if you honestly don’t see it.” She mumbled under her breath. Setting the curling iron down for a moment again she leaned against the counter in front of me. “Just...keep an open mind. I know you’re going through a lot but....don’t write things off yet.” 

After a moment’s pause she quickly changed the subject to the baby, what plans I had, when and if I was finding out the sex. She continued curling my hair until there was a knock at the bedroom door and when she called out that it was okay to come in, Grinnell appeared carrying a take out bag from Chick-fil-a and a container of fruit. Brie eagerly grabbed the food from him before shooing him out of the room with a quick thanks. 

I munched on the fruit, somehow knowing that Paul had picked it up specifically for me, while Brie finished my hair. After that, we took five to finish eating and so Brie could start on her own makeup. Scrolling through social media I couldn’t help but laugh seeing the chiclets page’s latest update on Instagram. 

Brie was much faster with her makeup than I could probably ever be and so it wasn’t long before she was digging through my bag and her own figuring out what she was going to do to enhance my look for the night. We talked about her and Ryan’s baby boy who was at home with his grandparents and I couldn’t help but smile thinking about that sort of future with my own baby. It was definitely going to be hard, everything she dealt with when Ryan was on the road would be my life all the time but I loved this baby so much that I couldn’t wait. 

By the time she finished with my makeup, we had about ten minutes before we needed to leave and Ryan had already come banging on the door once to insist that we were ready on time. 

Thankfully, with Brie’s help it didn’t take me more than a minute or two to change from the button down and shorts into my dress. With my bump in the way, putting on my shoes took me a little longer but we were still ready to go and grabbing clutches with a couple of minutes to spare. 

Brie left the room ahead of me and I heard her murmur something to the guys but when I stepped out of the room I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I received. Immediately my ears were met with teasing catcalls coming from RA and Whit. When I looked up, Grinnell wasn’t even paying attention but Paul’s eyes were focused directly on me. Brie smirked at me and motioned to the silly little grin on Paul’s face while she worked on fixing her husband’s tie. If asked, I wouldn’t admit that my heart skipped a beat at the way Paul was looking at me, his eyes soft with a twinkle I’d never noticed before. Still, when he didn’t say anything I was worried that he didn’t like the dress or something. 

“So…?” I whispered softly, trying not to bite my lip and ruin my lipstick. Hearing my voice, Paul blinked rapidly for a moment before striding across the room toward me, his hand falling to my hip. 

“Wow...you look wow.” He breathed, dropping a kiss to my forehead as he looked me up and down. “You look incredible.” He eventually added, a lazy, happy grin taking over his face. A warmth spread through my entire body at his words, but before I could comment on how well he cleaned up, Whit was practically dragging us out the door declaring that we were going to be late. 

Chapter 7 Outfit:

______

So, because I lacked all capability to tell Paul Bissonnette ‘no’ when he asked me to do something, I was currently pulling my suitcase through the Vegas airport at almost midnight the night before the awards. Checking my phone I saw that Paul had texted me one message with the room number and which room in the suite was ours as well as another saying that the rest of the boys had gone out but that he’d be there when I got in. I had previously told him not to wait up for me and had even fought with him when he wanted to come to pick me up. It was completely ridiculous for him to even think about taking an Uber to the airport just to uber back to the hotel. 

Grabbing a cab, it wasn’t long before I had arrived at the hotel and after stopping at the front desk for a key to the room and to make sure the boys hadn’t had any problems with the reservations, I took the elevator upstairs and let myself into a dark and silent suite. Part of me had expected Paul to be up watching tv or something but it was too quiet for that. He’d said that we were staying in the first room on the right and so I quietly headed over, pausing in the doorway when my eyes caught sight of him. 

The only light in the room was coming from the open blinds letting in the city lights and Paul was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach fast asleep. The way the light and shadows highlighted the muscles of his naked back made my body react involuntarily and I took a deep breath trying not to gasp. Reminding myself that this was definitely just the pregnancy hormones getting the best of me, I slipped into the room and closed the door to the living room behind me. 

As quietly as I could, I hung my dress up in the wardrobe and got my pajamas and things for bed out of my suitcase before sneaking into the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep. It was beyond late and with the time change, I was exhausted. Paul was still taking up most of the bed when I stepped out of the bathroom and flipped off the light, using the flashlight on my phone to guide me across the room to close the curtains and then to the edge of the bed. Perched on what little bed was not occupied by a large man, I gently reached out and rubbed my hand over his back trying to stir him just enough that he’d roll over and make room. Getting no reaction I sighed. 

“Paul...are you actually gonna share the bed like you promised or am I stuck sleeping on the couch tonight?” I whispered. Rubbing his back once more I felt his muscles twitch and suddenly his body was moving, arm reaching out to take my hand and pull me into him. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I settled into his embrace, his solid chest pressed into my back. As his body shifted to surround me further, the hand that had grabbed mine moved to drape over my waist. 

We’d snuggled like this before, but back then I didn’t have a 21-week baby bump protruding from my front. It was clear that in his sleepy state he expected what he was used to before because the moment his arm didn’t drape the way he expected he froze against me. A change in his breathing signaled that he was now actually awake and his hand gently caressed my stomach for a moment. 

“Holy shit Leigh…” His sleep laden voice murmured from behind me. “You...that’s...I didn’t...wow.” Shaking my head at him a little I rolled onto my back so that I could look over at him. As I shifted, Paul reached over to tap the bedside light on, allowing us to actually see each other. 

“It’s called a baby bump Paul...this is kinda what happens when you’re pregnant and the baby starts to get bigger. There’s only so much space in there for the baby to grow otherwise.” His gaze was dark and lazy as our eyes met before he swept a look up and down my body taking in the changes that he’d missed due to living on separate sides of the country. 

“I knew that…” He declared, glaring at me softly. “I just...I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a few months and I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting you to be showing. Not like this.” I knew he wasn’t implying that I was fat or anything, just that his brain hadn’t actually processed the changes that my body would undergo during pregnancy. 

“Not so easy to hide anymore huh?” I questioned and he nodded but his eyes hadn’t left my stomach, nor had his hand. 

“Fuck...I...are you okay with me touching?” He asked at least being conscious enough to know that women frequently complained about people touching their bellies. It was clear that he wanted to touch and explore. To make the connection between the baby that we so frequently talked about and how said baby currently existed inside me. Smiling over at him I nodded, though he wasn’t looking and therefore didn’t see it. 

“Go for it,” I assured him. “You are one of the few people I think I can put on my approved bump touch list.” I teased. Part of me had at least expected him to crack a smile at that but I don’t think he was paying attention to my words since the second I gave him permission to touch. 

The way his strong fingers grazed over my belly so gently caused a shiver to run up my spine and I just watched him for a moment before closing my eyes and relaxing. For a few minutes, he just caressed and pressed his palm to my stomach before his fingers dipped down to the edge of my shirt. Peeking up at him I could see the adoration in his eyes as he looked at the way my body had adapted to growing the little boy or girl inside of me. I felt blessed to know that he already loved this baby so much even though he had no real reason to and it made me want to give him as much as I could so far as letting him bond with the baby went. 

“Here…” I breathed, rolling just slightly to adjust my shirt so that it rested just under my breasts, exposing the skin of my stomach to him, stretch marks and all. I knew that touching through clothes was one thing but letting him see the way that my skin had stretched, and letting him touch without that barrier in the way was something else entirely. 

Paul’s hand quickly found its way back to the bump and when he looked up at me again his eyes were moist with tears. Meeting his gaze with concern, I reached over to brush my thumb against his cheek. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, his body leaning into my touch as much as I had his earlier. “I just...this is incredible. I...I didn’t expect that this would affect me so much.” It was totally understandable for him to have that reaction and I did my best to communicate that to him without words. My own voice was stuck in my throat seeing him get emotional over something that I’d personally gotten used to because it was my new normal. “You...I hope you know that you were beautiful before...but you’re absolutely gorgeous like this. Pregnancy suits you.” The intent behind his words confused me but he was so sure of them that I couldn’t help the flush that came over my entire body. Catching my breath after a moment I glanced over at the alarm clock beside the bed. 

“So...can we go to sleep now...because it’s the middle of the night back home and being pregnant is exhausting.” My words seemed to snap Paul out of his trance. 

“Fuck...of course. I...goodnight Leigh.” His words were spoken with a soft kiss to my temple, but before I could attempt to roll over, Paul had shifted, leaning over me. “Goodnight dustbunny.” He added and for a split second his lips were pressed against my stomach before he was laying back down beside me, a sheepish look on his face. “Didn’t want baby to feel left out.” He mumbled before switching the light back off so that we could all get some sleep. 

Tucked back against his chest, I was nearly off to dreamland when I heard him whisper softly into the room. “I’m here for whatever you and your mama need dustbunny...that’s a promise.” 

__________________________

When I woke the next morning, Paul was still passed out beside me. Gingerly, I slid out of his arms needing first to use the bathroom and then to get some food before the baby decided to protest. After taking care of my bladder needs and slipping on a pair of shorts, I quietly opened the door to the living room wondering if the boys had any food in the kitchen or if they’d eaten out for every single meal since arriving in Vegas. 

Padding softly through the living room around to the little kitchen in the suite, I could hear RA and Grinnell talking softly from over by the patio doors. When I arrived in the kitchen I found a couple of small boxes of cereal as well as a small bottle of milk in the minifridge. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes before moving back to lean against the counter dividing the kitchen and living space while I ate. It was only then that I addressed the crew’s oldest host and our production manager by saying good morning. 

Both quickly returned my greeting but didn’t look over at me right away. However, upon finishing their conversation, they turned to me and it was comical to see the double-take that Mikey did when his eyes saw me. 

“What the fuck is that?” He asked only to be scolded by RA murmuring a ‘dude…’ in his direction. Swallowing the bite of cereal I’d put into my mouth I started laughing at how thrown these two grown men seemed at the sight of a pregnant woman. 

“Um...surprise?” I stated, trying to downplay things in order to not generate a large reaction. 

“Why didn’t Biz fucking tell us he’s gonna be a dad?” Mikey exclaimed, visibly getting worked up and speaking without really thinking about his words. Again RA tried to get him to shut up for a minute but he continued to rant for a moment about how ‘this was a big deal’ and ‘since when did Biz keep secrets like this….’ 

“Michael Grinnell...will you shut up for a minute?” I declared, setting my now empty bowl down on the counter. “Biz didn’t tell you that he’s gonna be a dad because he’s not…” I immediately motioned for him to let me continue but before I could, a voice sounded from my left.

“How far along do you think she is dumbass?” Ryan Whitney chirped as he made his way into the kitchen for his own breakfast. His lack of reaction to what he’d just walked into caught me off guard for a moment before I turned to look at him. 

“How long have you known?” I asked accusatorily.  He at least had the courtesy to look guilty as he mumbled that I probably already knew the answer to that. Carding my fingers through my hair, I sighed and shook my head. “You’ve known as long as Paul has…” I was slightly annoyed by that and it clearly showed on my face causing Whit to backpedal. 

“I didn’t know know…” He explained. “Yes...Biz texted me asking if you being sick the way you were was normal and the suspicion was kind of unspoken. He never actually told me that you were though...it was just pretty obvious when the two of you posted scenic pictures when I knew he was taking you to the doctors’. If it was a bug you would have been in bed resting, long drive implies a distraction and it wasn’t hard to figure out from that, that his suspicions had been right.” I couldn’t really be angry about the fact that he’d deduced it based on information obtained before anyone knew for certain that I was pregnant. “Plus...Biz has been different the past few months and it’s pretty obvious why…” He added, gesturing toward my stomach. 

“So….if Biz isn’t the dad…” Mikey jumped back into the conversation, his expression suggesting that he’d been thinking a little too hard about all of this. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Oh...shit.” He murmured like it had all hit him at once. Needing to take control of the situation back I placed a hand on my stomach, taking a deep breath. 

“Yes. I’m pregnant. No, we’re not talking about the whole paternity situation. Yes, Paul and evidently Whit have known for a few months. I didn’t tell my parents until last month and I’m not ready to go fully public with an announcement yet which is why I hadn’t said anything. Now, if we can just move on...that would be wonderful.” 

Thankfully Whit was able to distract RA and Grinnell with a discussion of setting up for the interviews they were recording before the awards tonight and I was able to slip back to the bedroom, suddenly feeling like I needed a nap even though I’d just woke up. 

I’d been staring out the window, trying to clear my mind and decide what I wanted to do until I had to start getting ready when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and I was pulled back into a firm chest. 

“You okay?” Paul asked, his fingers once again rubbing gentle circles over the expanse of my stomach. Leaning into him I nodded and just focused on his touch and soothing presence. 

“The boys know.” I eventually whispered and I could feel him chuckle softly. 

“I mean...I kind of figured...it only takes one look at you like this.” Feeling his lips press against my hair I sighed. “Plus I could hear Grinnell freaking out. Are you okay with the cat being out of the bag so to speak?” Shrugging I sighed but didn’t say anything. I kind of had to be okay, though it did again bring the fear of the world finding out tonight on national tv to the front of my mind. I could only pray that the dress I’d found would do a sufficient job of hiding my growing stomach in the way that a pair of shorts and a clingy tank top couldn’t. 

Spinning me around Paul pulled me into a hug. We stood like that for a few minutes before there was a knock on the bedroom door with RA calling out that Paul needed to get his ass into gear so they could get started. When he pulled back reluctantly, he kissed the top of my head. 

“I’ll be fine...go,” I assured him. “Dustbunny and I are just gonna lay back down for a little while. I’ll set an alarm to wake me in a couple hours so I can start getting ready for tonight.” 

With one more caress of my bump, Paul retreated to the living room to work and I slipped back into bed, pulling his pillow from his side of the bed to cuddle. With sounds of laughter coming from the next room I quickly drifted off to sleep, hoping that I would wake up more excited for the awards than I currently felt.