#00916

Ty,

You aren't a bother and you're so important to us. We are about you. I copied this list that I made for myself, and I think it will help you out as well. It's 100 reasons, so take your time and read them. Really read them. Let it sink it. This feeling you have? It's not going to last. Don't make a permanent decision on a temporary problem, okay? We believe in you. You've got this <3

1. We would miss you. 2. It's not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There's so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don't let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you've battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won't regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you've always wanted to do? What about the things you've planned, but never got around to doing? You can't do them when you're dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that's still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won't be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You'll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You're preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You're gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favorite music artist, you'll never hear their voice again... 19. You'll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day. 20. Listening to incredibly loud music. 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soul-mate. 24. Red pandas. 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on road trips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favorite movie, you'll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it's for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Tree houses. 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a tree house. 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees. 56. I don't even know you and I love you. 57. I don't even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won't be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. FOOD!61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it's up to you to find out what it is. 65. You've changed somebody's life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that's perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody's life. 70. If you end your life, you're stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn't exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down. 80. Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favorite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you're proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn't commit. 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate. 94. All the reality TV you will miss. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. Being able to hug that one person you haven't seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is just being able to experience life because even if your life doesn't seem so great right now, literally anything could happen.

I love you. Stay strong okay, Ty? <3

Hey, darling :)

I wanted to start off by saying this made me very sad. You are so, so important and you deserve happiness. I can tell you right off the bat that we definitely care about you here and we want what's best for you. As for the dating thing.. I've only dated one man in my whole life (I'm 27) and he's now my husband of one year. It will happen, darling, because it's the right time for YOU, not what society thinks is a good time.

Now.. here are some tips that I think will help:

1. Set an intention. Before you get out of bed, decide what kind of day you want to have. Make a deliberate, conscious decision about how you want to create your day. Write it down. Play a little with how it might feel. When you get up, act accordingly. Remind yourself throughout the day of your intention. Look for ways your intention is playing out in your world. Suggested intention: Today is full of joyful miracles!

2. Be true to yourself. Live your life doing what feels right to you, not what someone else thinks you should do. It’s ok to listen to advice, but in the end, make the decision that feels best for you. Being a people pleaser is a very frustrating way to live. Get in the habit of pleasing yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness. Your feelings are important. "Our self-respect tracks our choices. Every time we act in harmony with our authentic self and our heart, we earn our respect. It is that simple. Every choice matters." -Dan Coppersmith

3. Change your mental diet. Read uplifting books. Listen to uplifting tapes and CDs and attend uplifting workshops. What you focus on expands. What you put your attention on becomes more real. So focus on what you want to create, on what makes you happy. Don’t focus on negativity. Stop watching the news. Avoid whiners and complainers. Walk away.

4. Be aware of what your monkey mind, the voice in your head, is saying. Widen back and observe your thoughts. If a particular thought isn't kind or isn’t serving you, note this and redirect your focus to what you are wanting. This may take a bit of practice. Remember to be kind to yourself as you are gaining awareness and strengthening your will.

5. Upgrade your physical diet. Processed foods contain very little nutritional value when compared to raw, organic fruits and vegetables. Eat fresh produce rather than processed foods whenever possible. Drink plenty of water, fresh juices and smoothies instead of caffeinated beverages or energy drinks. Add nutrient dense super foods to your diet. When you take care of your body by supplying it with good nutrients, you will naturally feel better and have more energy.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not supposed to be like anyone else. You are you. You are the only one who can be you. Your perspectives, gifts and value are exclusively yours. You are a unique expression of the divine. Revel in it! If you want something to measure yourself by, compare how you were yesterday to how you are today, and be kind.

7. Create an uplifting environment for yourself. This can be joyful colors, uplifting music, nature photos, plants, uplifting posters, open windows… you decide. Wear clothes that you feel good in.

8. Celebrate your successes. Even the small ones. Don't wait to get perfect. Any progress at all is worthy of celebration. When you celebrate, you are telling the universe “I am loving this. Please give me more!” Yay!

9. Be grateful. You have much to be grateful for. Before you go to bed each night, write down ten things you are grateful for that day and why. This is an important step. Gratitude alone can turn things around for you. What are you grateful for right now?

10. Create a list of accomplishments and review it often. We tend to get overwhelmed looking at what’s left to be done and forget to give ourselves credit for how far we’ve already come.

11. Don’t take yourself, or life, too seriously. Lighten up. Dare to have fun. “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly” -G.K Chesterton

12. Learn something new. Become an expert. Get curious and learn all there is to learn about what interests you. Learning is growing, and it feels good.

13. Do things that stretch your comfort zone. Anytime you feel fear, as long as it isn't life threatening, is an opportunity to grow! "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin

14. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it! Maybe a massage, a bath or nap. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself with the same honor, courtesy, respect and kindness you would if you were taking someone else out that you really, really liked. The key here is to enbrace and enjoy the experience. Feeling guilty defeats the purpose.

15. Do something nice for someone else. Volunteer. Being of service, without expectation of reward, feels really good.

16. Spend time regularly doing things you find joyful. What make your heart sing? Do more of it! Remember being happy is not a selfish act. Your joy is a gift to the world! When you feel joyful, your joy is contagious.

17. Do something physical. Clean out a closet. Get out of the house. Go for a walk. Do some gardening. Visit the nature preserve. Exercise. Fly a kite. Ride a bike. Exercise produces endorphin's that help you feel better. Also, being outdoors in the sunshine helps the body produce vitamin D, which contributes to a healthier, happier you.

18. Spend time with supportive, uplifting people. We do exist!

19. Create positive affirmations about yourself. Post them about your home. Say them often and out loud.

20. Allow yourself to be where you are. Just feel whatever you are feeling, without judging it or judging yourself for feeling it. Let go of the story you have created around it and just be with the feeling. Embrace it. Explore it. Feel it. All any feeling wants is to be felt fully. This can only be done when you let go of your resistance to feeling it, which is kept in place by the story and the judgment around it. Without the story and the labels, feelings are inherently neutral. Feel the feeling fully, then just let it dissolve.

21. Remind yourself often you are a miraculous, sacred, perfect expression of Life. Amazing, incredible you are worthy and loved always, without having to do a thing.

22. Spend some time just being. This is much easier in nature. Go camping. Take a walk. Climb a tree. Sit by a stream. Put up a hammock and climb in. In reconnecting with the Earth and Nature, we slow down and have time for some inner reflection. Priorities become clearer. Who you truly are is more easily recognized here.

I hope some of these helped. I found them here: http://www.spiritwire.com/selfesteemtips.html

Hey, love :)

Oh, my gosh.. me either! I have a hard time socializing in small groups, especially if I'm the only one not drinking. The way I get myself to be part of the group is actually a really fun app on my phone xD It's called: Head's Up! I saw it on The Ellen Show, and I want to say she created it or something. It's similar to charades where people try to guess what person/place/thing is on your head, and when you guess the phrase right, you tip the phone and move on. It's lots of fun, and everyone can do it! You can also look back on the game played because it records the whole thing while you do it.

You could also try music, food, or other games. Don't be afraid to have fun even when you aren't drinking, and people won't think less of you if you aren't. Does anyone have any other tips to try? 

Hi, love!

When I was your age, I was definitely similar. I liked to read and be with my family and take care of my little brother, and when my friends took a different path than I did, I still maintained a friendship with them, but when they were doing something I wasn't comfortable with, I just didn't do it. Especially if I knew it could possibly get me into trouble or harm myself or someone else. Sometimes I could get made fun of for my decisions, but in the end, I knew I wouldn't be happy with myself if I went ahead and did what they were doing.

You like to be outside and being active, maybe join a physical activity? The best thing about that is when you're doing the activity, that's your common thread. You can talk about that. Then, when you are comfortable, it can lead to other things (going a movie you both have wanted to see or going to a theme park) that will be just as fun.

I hope this helped, and try not to be afraid of reaching out to new people. You're a good person and other people will appreciate that. Best of luck to you, darling, and have fun :)

(SAVT part 2) understands that I'm comfortable with having sex with other girls, just not with guys, and I really want to get intimate with her. Any advice?

Hi, love :)

It's good that your girlfriend is trying to be careful so she doesn't hurt or scare you. Have you talked to her about you being okay with intimacy with her? It's important to be open about what you're comfortable with, especially when you've experienced something as traumatic as you did in your past.

You may have to lead the way, and be the first one to initiate intimacy in the bedroom. Talk with her, show her what you like. If you have things you aren't comfortable with, then you should tell her. Take it slow, so if you aren't comfortable with something, she doesn't get scared and not want to do anything else.

I wish you the best of luck, sweetheart, and be safe!

Hi, Hannah!

Thank you so much for your kind words, darling :) You're pretty amazing yourself!