#...if i'm lucky

If anyone's reading this, be prepared as I bore you with my idiocy and inadequate intelligence...

I know two classes I need, but I have no idea what else to take and I'm just internally freaking out because if I tell anyone in my family they'll just give me that look that screams, 'why were you born in this family you bring nothing but shame'.

And for those reading (if there are any readers), please don't tell me that it's all in my head. My brother shook his head at me a few days ago after an incident I'd rather not recall in full.

He knows how I am and yet does nothing to help, just like the rest of my family who wants to believe there's no one with "problems" in this family and refuse to accept that I may suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder.

So now I'm scared to go get tested because someone in my family will find out and then confrontations will happen and I'll be a sobbing/wailing mess and everyone will treat me differently.