#-smile-

even I fail to understand myself

I hate how fashion, tv, magazines, ect portray beauty along with being skinny

yet on those days that I feel fat I automatically feel ugly

yet when I draw girls I draw them skinny and "perfect"

yet there are days I hate my body for not being more like "them"

makes me do things like eating less and exercise but for all the wrong reasons 

yeah there are those days

that I fall into the same trap

of wanting to cut pieces out to "fix"

I hate it

unfortanatley

all I can do is recognize when it starts to happen

and stop it

need to stop it within myself

before I can demand of others to stop

so yeah I confesss

I need to learn to love myself