#-nh

ngl ive realized i’m so fucking into denial i just Do Not have the self control to keep myself from cumming for an extended period of time. if someone else were ordering me not to cum though,

literally need to be someones dumb ditzy stoner boytoy… or the dumb ditzy stoner boytoy of the whole friend group lmao. like i need people to think its cute that im always so spacey and forgetful, and get turned on by how stupid i get when im high. getting teased and degraded and not even having the brainpower to deny that yeah im dumb and an airhead who needs someone else to do the thinking for them and i forgot where i was going with this lolol

i was gonna make a post like “new type of guy: takes one hit and gets a boner” but thats definitely not a new type of guy

need someone to lovingly call me dumb and ditzy etc etc while im high like rn immediately

weed? i’m horny. alcohol? im horny. when does it end

ok uhhhh big update. we are definitely fully aromantic. we went and hung our with our buddy again and they told us they decided it’d be best to not pursue a relationship together at least for now but they’re still cool with platonic sex and like. i realized it felt like a big relief???? like weve been feeling like “ok well i cant tell whats platonic and romantic but i like cute romantic stuff so if a close buddy decides they want romance from us i should probably go with it bc why not” BUT LIKE. we keep fucking getting so stressed out whenever we feel like someone wants romance from us like it gets so unbearable bc our attachment gets unhealthy and we feel the need to impress them and be THEIR ideal partner instead of just like. idfk. chilling. and im realizing we really have just been feeling like we need to live up to what others want from us fucking constantly especially in intimate relationships but then we always feel the happiest when we’re just idk hanging out with our friends instead of feeling the pressure to prioritize a single particular person or even multiple instead of being able to comfortably give ALL our friends attention. feels like a real chicken or the egg situation tbh of “did this guy become aromantic bc his trauma made it impossible to experience romantic attraction without associating it with stress or did it just take him years to figure out he was aromantic bc his trauma tricked him into thinking everything had to be romantic” do you FUCKING GET ME GUYS… but honestly the semantics dont matter bc we are aro either way and literally feels like such a RELIEF to get to just say our goals for the future dont have to include having a romantic partner. and its always felt on some level that when we say stuff like “yeah idk if i even feel romantic attraction but if someone whose company i enjoy wants romance i can say our relationship is romantic” it always feels like an imitation of romance from us even if we don’t acknowledge it. but now im gonna acknowledge it and im gonna say that i dont want a romantic partner!!!!!! i want friends who i can cuddle with and fuck and cook for and i want a bunch of foster kids and i want pets and i want a house thats MY house and i don’t wanna feel like i owe a specific friend more of my time than my other friends ahhhhhhhhh screaming and beating up the ground goodnight

ok made a tag for rambling about our new bestie :]