we've talked about this before, but it really does help to have a little to take care of, i guess... i mean, i'm the little in this case, but i myself also have my own little. and she gets scared, and lashes out, or freezes up, or all these bad things. and she can't really do things by herself; she'd rather stay in bed until it's "safe" again. i would also rather stay in bed, and i'd rather lash out and freeze up and do all sorts of bad things to other people & ourselves, but... i don't know... it's easier to take care of yourself when there's a kid involved. like, i don't want to sit and let her do this to herself, so i shouldn't sit and let myself do this to myself, either...