I’m sooooooo sorry nothings ever perfect enough for you, mother. I’m sorry you’re leaving us to deal with a mess that’s only half ours and expecting everything to look perfect. I’m sorry I had to lie to the cops to make it seem like you would neeeeever hurt us, not in a million years!! I’m sorry your standards have decided to raise themselves after you’ve trained us to be set at your former low ones! I’m sorry that you’ve decided that NOW you’ll change your life after having raised us wrongly.

We’ve done so much work today to increase the spider population

Dean, I do not eat gay bacon.