#-agata

TODAY JESUS EXITED THE HOLY WOMB AND REBELLED AGAINT HIS PARENTS AND BECAME SANTY CLAWS

AND BROUGHT US THE FIRST PRESENT 

DEMOCRACY

i was at my friend’s house and i got rly rly baked. we’re just chilling and my ex is like “oh i wanna show you guys this anime”. i’d never watched anime before and i thought that anime was kids’ shows (not that i had a problem with kids’ shows, it’s just that i was expecting one). so we start watching and i’m like holy fuck all of this is so intense and the music is so eerie and the foreshadowing and just fucking titans eating humans i was sitting there with every muscle in my body tense as fuck just completely absorbed by the story.

and then there’s the scene where the old lady is given her son’s severed arm. and they show the severed arm. and my world fucking fell apart. why the fuck are they showing this in a kid’s show???? what the fuck this is so fucked up?? and i look around but no one else is reacting in the slightest. i thought i was fucking going crazy.

so, being stupidly baked, instead of coming to the conclusion that oh, this isn’t a kids’ show, i figured that my idea of a kids show is just warped and this is what childrens’ shows are actually like. maybe this is normal?? is this what kids watch these days?? so i ignore my racing heart and keep watching.

eventually we arrive at the end and carla is trapped under the house. hannes shows up and i feel relief take over my entire being. yessss hannes is here he’s gonna save carla! of course he is, thank god! 

but then hannes runs away with eren and mikasa and i feel death grip my heart once again. but i’m still hoping. ok so his mom will get eaten and provide tragic backstory. that’s ok. but never for a single fucking split second did it occur to me that they would show her being eaten and blood fucking raining everywhere as eren watches his mother be fucking devoured. and i swear to god my hemispheres swapped places in my skull. i was fucking sitting there with tears in my eyes, my mouth literally hanging open, shaking bc WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS and still NO ONE else is remotely moved and then they all went about their lives like normal while i was stuck in a state of perpetual horror and grief and literally thought i was losing my fucking mind or that all my friends and my ex were emotional zombies and STILL thinking that all along it was a fucking kids’ show.

for literally two weeks afterwards i was not ok and still recovering from all the fucking emotions i experienced that day. i remember standing in the shower staring dumbly at the wall and just thinking what the fuck over and over again