#*tgcf

I have seen even by sane fans of the book at like that obedience = devotion when for FX is the opposite- FX is the way he is because he is born to be obedient and be devoted to the idea of rule of law and interpersonal relationships that governed his kingdom and govern the devotee-God relationships. So much so one can never be convinced if he is devoted to you because he loves you or because he is doing his duty as is taught him since birth( the fact we never hear anything about his parents tells me he is a state Orphan raised with express purpose to Guard Xie Lian since birth) .

This is why it is a thing in book 4 that we have two characters- Xie Lian and Jiang Lan- who both leave FX because both of them have same anxiety aka they can never be sure in times of crisis that the devotion FX displays for them is motivated by purely emotion or because that is what he thinks he ought to do. It may be unfair to FX but he also had done nothing to alleviate the anxiety both of them had about his loyalty.

800 years later, FX improves in being a better friend by not acting like he would be there for XL when he cannot be and fails at being an ex-lover/co-parent/Husband to Jiang Lan because even after all these years he couldn't realize that accepting people to "improve" or save them is not the way to be. Incidentally the only reason he even succeeded 800 years later to be a better friend to XL is because XL no longer depends on him or devotees like him to get any sense of validation from them and hence burden them with the need to support him- that is where Hua Cheng comes in and he outdoes everyone including FX who symbolizes the best of XL's devotees because his devotion comes from his heart. He believes in XL because he believes in him as A PERSON even when nobody trained him to believe any of that( more remarkable for the fact in every sense of the word in this fantasy, Hua Cheng is an AN AGNOSTIC. He believes in Xie Lian because he believes in him as a person not because he thinks doing that would mean he would reward him by being the best infallible God ever( that FX wants), validate their desire for strength and clout( that QR does) or literally reward him( that MQ wants) . He believes in his fallible goodness. He de-objectifies Xie Lian from the idea that his sense of self is dependent on these kind of people's fallible. dehumanizing idea of Godhood. YES, I am saying that Feng X*n also dehumanized Xie Lian by putting him on an impossible pedestal )

This is why when people act like FX is some kind of a "true" friend and devotee who truly cares for XL, I cannot help but smile in irony because the whole point of his existence , alongside QR is to show the irony of the word "true" in the believer part. You can be opposite of Qi Rong where you are very obedient and devoted and still not be a good believer because your obedience also comes from a place of blind faith and need for validation which makes it all one sided.

"San Lang. Don't idealize someone too much. It's fine if you only view them from afar for a lifetime. But once you get close, get to know them. Perfect illusions will eventually shatter. When that time comes, you'll be greatly disappointed. So, forget about it. No one will remember it soon anyway."

"Your Highness! It won't happen! I won't forget! I'll never forget you!"

30 Days of Pride: A Queer Character A Day