#*old notes:*

Not that he’s unattractive; that’s beside the point. He’s a puppy-ish guy, a loud lanky ray of sunshine in contrast to Kaneki’s quieter, sun-peeking-from-clouds demeanor (fully-awake Touka would strangle half-asleep Touka for thinking such poetic sap). He had a crush on her once, a traitorous voice in her head whispers. Maybe he still does.

Well, if he does that’s his problem. She’s become his (close?) friend, and she would be sad if he chose to leave her life (where had that come from?), but she’s with Kaneki, and she’s happy with him. Ridiculously happy; she’ll never admit to herself how much.

As she gets closer and closer to sleep, her brain gets farther and farther from sense. A sleepover, she thinks, with her boyfriend and best friend. That’s all it is, and it’s totally normal, and why hasn’t it happened before now?

Because. It’s not a thing. That they do. (Mentally, she nods sagely.)

Then Hide’s arm falls across her waist and suddenly she’s more awake, but not thinking any clearer. Her awareness shrinks down to the band of warmth on her stomach, Hide’s fingers curling around her side. The room’s too dark to see if he’s asleep but his soft slow breaths near her ear are the answer.

She swallows, heart thrumming. This is… Not Good. Right?

To her left Kaneki snuffles and her heart may have actually stopped for a painful second. He cuddles up against her side and Hide’s hand is still there–

And Kaneki’s arm settles right below Hide’s.

Well. This could mean more than one thing. It definitely means she’ll need to talk to them both. But what if they don’t remember? What if you’re dreaming?

There’s no chance of them not remembering because they’re so deeply asleep that they won’t wake up until the morning; no time to creep out, hoping she slept through it. And she isn’t dreaming because she never has dreams like this.

It is now 2:30. She is overthinking the situation. The world will not, in fact, end if she allows herself to enjoy whatever this is. Warmth on all sides, surrounded by two people she cares for and who care for her.

Wanting it to continue beyond tonight? That might be apocalyptic. But she’ll worry about it in the morning, when she probably won’t be alone in feeling terribly awkward. And also actually find out what they’re thinking instead of freaking out disproportionately, the rational part of her brain says from somewhere far away.

Very slowly, she eases onto her side to face Kaneki. His arm ends up nestled between them, while Hide’s arm– Hide moves, settling against her back, hand slipping to her hip, his breath ticklish on her neck and oKAY not okay, she tenses at the tidal wave of want and is-he-awake panic racing through her. She buries her face in Kaneki’s hair, shuts her eyes and tries to just breathe.

Kaneki mumbles in his sleep, nudging into her chin, and she breathes.

Hide’s honest smile and gentle eyes fill her mind, and she breathes.

I am doing nothing wrong, she thinks, and she breathes.

She breathes, and falls asleep, and doesn’t dream of kissing Hide while Kaneki watches. Doesn’t dream about her lips on Kaneki’s cheek mirroring Hide’s. Doesn’t even dream about them standing a little too close to her back when they show her an arcade game’s controls.