FACECLAIM: Lee Hayi (Lee Hi), soloist

BIOGRAPHY:

Ji-Hye is truly her mother’s daughter in every sense of those words…if as defined, the daughter becomes the mother’s replacement. When Nam Hye-Jin was born, much of her life plan had been decided for her by the men and women of the ‘miryunamu coven of gunsan’, a small community in one of the smaller cities of South Korea, but very powerful nonetheless. Hye-Jin was the foreseen daughter of the high priestess, the child who was expected to continue the Nam lineage; once she was born she would be trained diligently by those around her so that she could take the high priestess’ place when the time was right. It was almost as if she was a successor first, and a daughter second.

Hye-Jin had limited liberties in order to protect her from any unwanted influence and mold her into a witch worthy of the Nam name, and those liberties only decreased as she reached the age of eighteen. An escapade or two was allowed when her mother felt generous. It was during one of these very few escapades that she met Jun-Seo, a witch from one of the few families in Gunsan that stayed away from the Miryunamu coven. He’d grab her hand and take her somewhere mundane like the beach, right when the sun began to set and they would experience this beautiful magic…

“You know, it’s like your mom is vicariously living her life through you…” “…it’s not…I mean, this is beyond me, you know. It was decided before I was born, and-” “And, are you happy?” “I was never asked that before.” “I’m asking you now.” Hye-Jin leaned in close and whispered, “i’m not…happy I mean…I’m not happy.”

They kept meeting in secret, and with time they fell in love in a way that was imperfect and clamoring, but it was something that the young witch needed. He made her feel that her worth lay in her person, and not her title. When Hye-Jin fell pregnant, they ran away.

For a moment they were happy…so happy, and they fell into a routine of their own normalcy, where the slightly older Jun-Seo tutored his loving Hye-Jin in order to keep the expecting mother in tune with her magic, and Hye-Jin found herself living a life for the pure joy of living and not in order to fill a role.

Looking back, the pair can’t be sure just how they stayed away from the coven for as long as they did…maybe it was simply because a mother under stress would have a difficult labor and a weakened child. Unbeknownst to Jun-Seo, the last few days of his love’s pregnancy were filled with the stress and pressure that had been applied by her mother with one fated phone call…they would not leave the heir alone, as any coven would fall apart without their pawn. Hye-Jin couldn’t believe the words that came from her own mouth then; she proposed that the coven let her continue to live her life as she wished, she knew that they now saw her as a spoiled fruit, and a lesson to be learned…she could live her life as she wished, in exchange for the life of her daughter.

Would a mother go so far, to keep herself from the realities of her world? She would, and she would go behind Jun-seo’s back, and leave Jeonju (their new place of residence) for Gunsan where she would bargain one life for her own.

Nam Ji-Hye was born on the sixth floor of the Gunsan Children’s Hospital, on the fourth of March when the planet Neptune was aligned perfectly with the earth and the full moon. She was only in her mother’s arms for a fraction of a moment before the high priestess snatched her, holding her for the other high ranking officials of the coven to see, and chanting a thanks to the moon and planets above. The child was a precious replacement; of course, she was one degree of separation from the high priestess, but the position would have befallen her after her own mother’s time.

The women and men of the coven gave the child their blessings at the faux-christening, and when the last word was spoken, the high priestess pressed the blunt end of a short wooden rod against the child’s arm, and the rod, carved with the seal of the Miryunamu coven, soaked in a concoction of the high priestess’ blood, and one of the more malicious herbs of Gunsan burned it’s image into the newborn’s arm as if it were a hot poker.

The infants wailing was heard throughout the entirety of the hospital.

“Eomma…I want to be the one to name her.” She saw the way her mother’s eyes sparkled with mirth, and Hye-Jin cringed, clutching the bed sheets as she anticipated her mother’s words, “I suppose you may, a name should be bestowed by the mother, weak as she may be.” And Hye-Jin didn’t say a word because she knew was weak…so weak-willed that she was giving up her child. Her mother allowed her to hold the infant, and miraculously gave her enough space to share a moment with the crying child. “…ttal, mianhae. I’ve never been able to place myself first, and this…I need you to do this for me, and I know you are just a child, and you wont understand, but it’s for the best, okay?” And then she started speaking in a much lower voice. “You will go by Ji-Hye…an inverse of your mother’s weak will, and rotten heart. Under this moon, I ask that you be a polar of me, strong where I have been weak. I leave the dreaded ‘n’ from your name because the last name we share will be reminder enough. Now, instead of the three by three points on a shape like your mother and father, you will have two by three, the two as your foundation and the three as your roof. This forms a strong pentagon, one not unlike the shape of the houses you might find yourself drawing in your first years. I hope under this moon that you will always feel sheltered because you are your own home.”

The high priestess allowed mother to remain with child, if only for the night.

Those of the coven who had remained for the ceremonial arrival of a new child, were allowed to retire for the night, so that they could return at the dawn of a new day, and celebrate in a manner more formal than that of the night.

They missed the way in which the child rejected her mother’s breast, rejected it for nutrients, and rejected it for comfort. Both mother and child cried themselves to sleep.

A mother will run away and bear her child alone, but the child born from both a mother and father’s love, is connected to both…blood is thick, and Jun-Seo was determined to find his daughter. His knuckles white as he clutched the steering wheel, keeping his eyes on the road and making an attempt to push the malicious thoughts from his mind.

The first thought that had crossed his mind was that the witches of the coven had kidnapped the woman he loved and their child, a thought which faded after he explored the rest of their small home…and he was no detective, but it didn’t seem as if someone had taken her against her will. Of course, they were witches and it was not uncommon for someone to hex another, in order to have them do their bidding…but the wards. He had taken the utmost precaution to protect the child, the woman, and the idyllic life they had managed. Those two creatures were his chance at something more, his chance at a life where he felt that he mattered, and he was able to protect them. He needed to be needed.

He had barged into two other hospitals before thinking of GCH, a hospital in the very center of Gunsan…how poetic.

When rushing to the receptionist he asked for his wife (although they had not gone so far as to marry) and daughter, she saw the worry in his eyes and led him to the room that held both creatures…not before asking if he wanted to sign the birth certificate. The man would have been suspicious but he saw the healing disposition in her eyes…the town was filled to the brim with druids and healers. He trusted the woman and signed the documents, digging through his pockets for his identification stamp (thank god he had thought that far), and sealing the legal bond between himself and the child. The Miryunamu coven would not deny him that much…he wouldn’t let them.

He forced himself to calm down through reciting a calming hymn, too afraid that the nurse might see the fire burning so brightly in his eyes, and the uncontrollable emotion that she would postpone the meeting to another day. The woman smiled, and led him to the sixth floor, towards the west wing, where the plaque read ‘Nam Hye-Jin’…why be so brazen…did she think he wouldn’t look?

It didn’t matter as he thanked the woman in scrubs, and allowed himself into the room. An anger had bubbled within him because he had missed the birth of his own child, but it soon dissipated when his eyes took in the scene before him. The child caught his eye first, and maybe that was why the anger dissipated, she was bathed in the moonlight, eyebrows furrowed and tiny hands balled, swatting at the air as she stirred in her sleep. The little thing looked frustrated almost, and as his eyes moved towards the woman who brought her into this world, he saw that she mirrored the infant, from the furrow of her brow to the tension in her fists.

How could she be so stupid? To go back to a place that brought her so much pain?

He didn’t know her reasons, and he was no clairvoyant…besides, he had to hear it from her very lips. Any other night he would have allowed the woman the sleep she so desperately needed, but after glancing in his daughter’s direction one last time, he approached the bed and sat next to her sleeping figure. “Hye-Jin…wake up.”

She always looked so small when left to her own devices…almost waiting for her mother to find her and drag her back. Jun-Seo sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking. Her eyes opened in confusion, and she sat up in her stupor, gaze not yet registering the identity of the other figure in her room. Not until she felt the gentle touch on her shoulder, and her eyes widened. She hadn’t figured out what she would tell him…the multiple lies she had concocted had yet to be arranged in one concise order and she was afraid of the disappointment in his eyes if he learned the truth.

“Why are you here?” He couldn’t stress the words enough. “Why?” “I had to…” “Had to what, Jin? Had to leave in the middle of the night, back to this place and give birth to our child here? For what? Your mother can find you, have you lost your mind?” He was exasperated and angry…so much that the calm of his voice amazed even himself. Low as it was, Hye-Jin still averted her gaze; it must have been the tears in his eyes. “I couldn’t even bless her under the light of her moon.” “Eomma…she’ll let us live our lives in peace if she has it.” “It, Hye-Jin? Are you that disconnected from your flesh and blood already?” He pulled away from this woman and the gentle touch was gone. But he wasn’t angry, and some twisted part of him understood; the woman he loved, was so broken, after all. “What’s her name?” “Ji-Hye…” “Ji-Hye…our child, Ji-Hye.”

The words had rolled off of his tongue like velvet as he moved to the child’s makeshift crib, gently slipping a hand under her small frame and another under her fragile head. He smiled and raised her to his chest, watching as she stirred slightly, fussing over the unwelcome movement before settling down with something he wanted to think was a smile. “Ji-Hye…please forgive your mother…and forgive me for missing the very minute you came into this world…it wouldn’t feel right to bless you now when the moon is not at the exact point in the sky, but on the very day of your birth when the moon is full again you will have all of my blessings.”

Hye-Jin stayed silent as the man had a moment with his daughter, and when he placed her back in her crib she patted the space on the bed next to her…she knew he wouldn’t turn her away; he lay next to her and let her fall asleep in his arms. He fell asleep and expected to toss all night, afraid of what might happen after he closed his eyes. She fell asleep expecting to wake up and find no child. They woke up and everything was the same as they had left it, only now Hye-Jin’s mother sat in one of the chairs on near the window, cradling her granddaughter and whispering sweet, witchy nothings.

Jun-Seo sat up, and in as his first instinct dictated, he asked the woman to put his child down. He knew that she didn’t deserve to hold the child, and if his daughter was in the woman’s hands for too long, she ran the risk of being poisoned by her grandmother’s ideals.

The high priestess looked at him with disinterest and scoffed, adjusting the child in her arms, and cooing at the infant. “Your appa is upset…if you look closely the aura around him is murky and frustrated.”

“Yah…Jeong-Sun, were you not content depersonalizing your own daughter?” As he stood up from the hospital bed, Jun-Seo reached the woman and his child in just a few steps, attempting to pull the infant from the seemingly dark influence. “Please hand the child over, it is my blood that runs through her veins, and unlike yourself I wish for my child to nurture her character in an environment that is attentive and loving.” “If she were any other child…mundane and regular like your family. But she is not, are you my dear?” She cooed at the child, keeping the infants gaze as her father took her into his own arms. “There is nothing regular about my child, but that has nothing to do with the plans of your coven; plans that will no doubt smother my child and her light. She is not regular because Neptune has blessed us with a healthy girl, with two parents who love…or at least two parents who should love her. She is special because I can see a twinkle in her eye, and it reminds me of myself and her mother.”

Jun-Seo turned, and walked away from the bitter old lady, hoping to ignore the retorts she spewed. He wanted his daughter as far as possible from the high priestess and her toxic energy.

Druids were healers but that did not come before being a mother. She had failed Hye-Jin in that sense, and Hye-Jin seemed prepared to do the same.

“Children are easily influenced and have malleable psyches, Jun-Seo…a child becomes the person whom raises them, and you believe that my daughter would have thought of anything but succeeding me, had you not usurped your way into her heart? It’s laughable, children-” “Children should be children.” The words came out quietly, and although they seemed unsure, the words garnered the attention of both the high priestess and the young father. “Not when they hold a power such as yours…such as that of this child. Hye-Jin, you had a destiny written for you before you were even born and instead of living your life by those terms you chose to disobey your mother, and betray your coven? For what? A life beneath you, living with a man who doesn’t deserve you and never having the chance to assume your full potential? It’s absurd-” “Mother.” Hye-Jin’s voice was strained, quiet and tired…she wasn’t raising her voice against her mother…it was of no use. “Please, we’re leaving the child with you, now would you leave me be?”

“We are not leaving our child with your mother.” The child who had been quiet for most of the argument was fussing even more in her father’s arms, sensing the tension and beginning to cry as the energy in the room irritated her. Jun-Seo furrowed his brows and adjusted the child in his arms, excusing himself and the child in order to feed her in a place with much less static.

After he left, the two women sat in silence with one another. “Hye-Jin I just tried to do what was best for you.” “The high priestess wanted what was best for her heir…I wanted you to be my mother.” “Don’t be silly Hye-Jin…you had responsibilities, I can’t let you do as you please, look at where it got you…where it got us. The coven is behind in preparations, and-” “I don’t care about the coven.” “You don’t have that luxury, I didn’t have the luxury…you know what, Hye-Jin, why don’t you and Jun-Seo stay in Gunsan, and raise the child…under my watchful eye of course. I know the young man wont leave his kin easily, and a child needs her mother in order to find herself.” “I don’t want anything to do with the child. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

The older woman remained quiet…ultimately knowing that things would go her way. She stood up, and left the room, giving her daughter the space she needed to reflect.

Outside of the room, she found herself watching the boy who had taken her daughter from the life she had worked so hard to mold. There was anger there, and while her feelings softened as she watched him tend to her granddaughter, she could not see him as an equal. With a roll of her eyes, she approached the young man, ready for the same proposition.

“Jun-Seo…the child-” “The child, as you call her has a name. The child, as you call her needs her mother and father, as any witch does.” The woman chuckled, and sat down next to the tense man. “And that’s why I want to offer my forgiveness to the two of you. Live here and raise the child, but her destiny has already been decided, and you will raise only her for the first few years of her life with my oversight and discipline…she is ours after that.” “You must be out of your mind…Ji-Hye is not some property to be passed from us to you because her mother was afraid of you…a-and forgiveness? As if we’ve slighted you by wanting to be happy-” “Take it or leave it…think about it, live these first few years stress free; just remember…you took my heir from me, and I will not let my coven suffer for it.”

It takes a moment, but Jun-Seo seems to agree, if only to live in peace for a few years, but if the woman thinks that he will hand his daughter over she is wrong. He’d plan to take her and Hye-Jin as far away as possible when the opportunity presented itself.

Jeong-Sun smiled a knowing smile, more than prepared to cross that bridge once they got there…

The pair remained in Gunsan, much to Hye-Jin’s chagrin…the woman wanted her own life, and giving up the child could offer just that. But she would not leave the love of her life if he was stupid enough to stay.

Leaving the hospital, and settling into a house that was much too close to her mother was difficult enough; it came paired with the stress of being a mother, and at the same time maintaining a distance from the child she gave birth to because she was only out on loan. Each time she breastfed the child, or rocked her to sleep, she imagined that the small creature was a doll, one enchanted to look much like herself and Jun-Seo but something far from human. She would not become attached to a bargaining chip.

The child and her mother lived in the same house for years and barely held a descent conversation…they were cordial with one another, and shared moments of mother-daughter intimacy where they prepared family meals together, or times when Ji-Hye would sit between her mothers legs as the woman brushed her long hair and told her stories.

It all just felt empty somehow.

The woman grew to love her daughter, that was inevitable, but Hye-Jin felt much too guilty to look said daughter in the eye, and Ji-Hye had learned in her very first years of her life that it was no use loving unconditionally when such love would not be reciprocated; after all there had been a feeling in her heart for many years about her mother, and each time she thought about the fact, the marking on the innermost stretch of skin on her arm would burn. They’d sit at the same table and there was this tension…only ever alleviated by Ji-Hye’s father, and always amplified by her grandmother. It was poetic almost…the mother and child felt a large rift between them…and the child’s mother had the very same rift with the woman who birthed her. Three generations of druids, none able to show the other the familial love they craved.

Ji-Hye was spoiled by everyone around her…she was a miracle child for many different people and for many different reasons; and although she felt it, she just never truly understood what made her so special.

Her father doted on her, and she understood his love, cherished it even, but when her grandmother had her for the day, her vision was filled with a multitude of faces, all smiling, all praising her for achievements she had yet to understand. She was just a child, and the constant attention frightened her so much; it felt as if they were watching her every move, keeping her inside a glass terrarium, observing her as some sort of specimen.

The energy was loving, but it felt empty, and misplaced.

She was a child in her home, and an heir when she visited the coven’s temple.

Too soon did Nam Jeong-Sun set her plans into motion, introducing the child to the rites and traditions of the Miryunamu coven each time she was at the temple. Instead of spending a day of fun with her grandmother, Ji-Hye would sit at a desk and study the history of the coven; she would spend nights practicing incantations and understanding her role as both a druid, and an heir. She had started studying at a mere four, a year younger than her own mother (Jeong-Sun felt she was wrong in giving her own daughter time to be a toddler), and spent her time in two worlds, the one where she was an adult, and the other where she was a child.

At the temple her childish innocence is disregarded in favor of the woman she would ultimately become. At home, she is left to nurture her true character with a loving father and a distant mother.

Ji-Hye was constantly learning from the people around her, as she didn’t try to fight the waves of people who constantly had her moving, dressing her in the clothes of people who came before her, giving her their ideals, and molding her into someone she may not have otherwise been. The idiosyncrasies she picks up from her father…and even her hippie mother lends to Ji-Hye’s character; a child becomes like her parents, but she spends half of her time in a different world, in which the people around her force her to become like them.

The ideals of her actual home blended effortlessly into her mind, and for the most part, the ideals of the coven are ingrained in the same way; a child would not know better.

She was not allowed to go to public school with the other witches of Gunsan, and was home-schooled one of her father’s aunts (neutral ground for the child), with classes taught to her by her grandmother in etiquette, ritual, history, and spells. Ji-Hye was too special…a prodigy that seemed to have more potential than her own mother…that potential couldn’t be spoiled by rubbing elbows with the more common witches of Gunsan.

Her mind was constantly filled with her studies, and when it was left with its own thoughts, her mind became a battleground, simple and complex all at once because she was unsure of how to marry the person she was supposed to become at the coven, and the person she truly was at home. And as her eleventh birthday approached, there was hope that she would no longer have to wrestle with her very polar lives. Her small ears were adept at eavesdropping, and she heard snippets of hushed words, her father telling her mother that a new and better life awaited them.

For the next few days, Ji-Hye was in a state of calm, content with waiting for the day of her birthday, where her wishes would surely come true…perhaps her mother would come to love her, and her own internal conflicts would resolve themselves with some time away from the coven. She knew she would come back some day…of course in her very mature state of mind, she felt as if a person who was allowed to grow away from pressuring forces would become a better more fair leader. Her destined life as an heir was something she could not shake…or so she believed.

The eve of her eleventh birthday came, and while the coven insisted on a ‘second moon’ ritual, her father’s objections were stronger. He had not given his own blessings after their birth.

The people of the coven were allowed a small ritual as the sun went down, but were quickly ushered out of the house by Jun-Seo who had waited for this moment for eleven years. Jun-Seo’s mother (the not-so-overbearing grandmother) had prepared a cake, and presents for a granddaughter who was special no matter what title she held, and they cut the cake right before the moon was at it’s highest peak in the sky.

Once the formalities were over, Jun-Seo had been able to bless Ji-Hye once and for all, thanking the moon for the child, and bestowing the essence of his own magic over her as a form of protection. The young witch felt her heart swell at the words…and at the same time, the scar on her arm burned with a fierce intensity. She would be reminded of the coven even in the presence of a father who hated everything they stood for.

But still, she smiled. From the very beginning, the man had loved her for the pure fact that she was his daughter. He was a rare gift.

He was a stark contrast to her mother, the woman who seemed so small and unsure of her place next to the young witch…she didn’t know whether she should resent or pity the woman who had brought her into this world.

Perhaps getting away from Gunsan would allow her mother to love her.

When her father told her that they would go be going away for a while,the excitement filled her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

Her paternal grandmother had packed her bags while she was away at the temple, and the car was waiting. Ji-Hye almost asked why they were leaving without saying goodbye to her other halmonnie, but she knew better. She allowed them to usher her out of the house and into the car, where Jun-Seo’s mother waved goodbye as the car backed out of their driveway, and out onto the street…at least that was the plan…as the car had begun to back out onto the street, Hye-Jin had placed her hand over now-husband’s arm, “Yeo-bu…wait a moment, please…”

Jun-Seo stopped despite himself…he knew that they had to go, but he wasn’t always able to deny Hye-Jin’s whims. He stopped the car for a moment, and turned to the mother of his child. “What can be so important, Jin?”

“I think it’s a good idea that we’re leaving but…it’s a good idea for you and I to leave…taking her with us is a mistake…” She spoke almost as if she had forgotten that her daughter sat in the backseat. “What are you talking about?” “Jun-Seo…we can’t lead a normal life together, not with this hanging over me…we can forget…but the child…she needs to be here, she needs to learn to control her power and-” “That isn’t how it works.” “It has to…I feel like I’m going to implode whenever I’m near her. I need you to be with me on this decision, Jun-Seo.” “She needs me…she needs her father, and her mother.” “No…what she needs, she has. Jun-Seo, listen-” “I’ve listened to you…I listened to you when we left Gunsan…I listened to you when you told me you loved me but I can see that you don’t love me enough to let her go.” “What is she an old lover? Listen to the way you’re talking about your daughter, Jin…it’s sad.” “Jun…”

She allowed the silence to gather between them as her gaze wandered past his figure; her face remained unchanged as she shifted in her seat, and went to face the window on the passenger side of the car. She had said her piece.

Jun-Seo’s own curiosity led him to turn around in search of what had held his wife’s gaze, and he wasn’t surprised to find Jeong-Sun’s outside of the driver’s door, lips set in a tight line, and eyes furious. And he felt a little defeated…unsure of how to change his wife’s mind, and even more so unsure of how to console the child who sat hugging herself in the backseat, tears running down her face but not so much as a sub breaking the silence of the car.

Jeong-Sun’s stood with her arms crossed, and Jun-Seo straightened his posture, lowering the window and preparing for yet another argument.

“Jeong-Sun-” “What do you have to say for yourself? I allowed her to remain with the both of you for a few more years than I knew was convenient…you seemed content with the arrangement, and now you want to take another heir from me?” “She is my daughter before she is anyone’s heir.” The words were uttered in a soft, deflated tone…how many times had he spoken the same defense? “My coven is more important than this pathetic excuse for a family.”

Jun-Seo felt so small…the woman beside her had receded into her own little world…and Jeong-Sun had remained relentless in her pursuits. It seemed like no one would help him; and then his gaze shifted to the image of his daughter in the rear-view mirror, looking so small, and he knew he couldn’t leave her to her own devices in this town.

Why was it that the two women who needed him the most could not admit they needed each other?

He took a deep breathe, “Jeong-Sun, I can’t leave her here…some part of you knows that as a parent, your child comes before anything else, and your coven can go to shit for all I care, I wont leave her.” “Her mother doesn’t want her…she’ll feel more neglected around her own mother than me. Jun-Seo, leave her with me…she is better of with me than with her.” “I’m there.” “And you’re at your clinic tending to your animals.”

His knuckles had turned white from gripping the steering wheel…he remained silent until another voice piped up.

“Son…leave her with me. She’ll be in Gunsan under the care of myself and Jeong-Sun…you can visit whenever, and call every day. That woman is stubborn, and so is woman she gave birth to…the woman you decided to marry. When she is eighteen, whatever she decides is up to her.” “How can I just…?”

Ji-Hye simply sat in silence, the tears never stopping. She knew that her mother had tense feelings about her…but never imagined that they ran this deeply. “Eomma..it’s okay if you hate me, I’ll just hate you too.” Jun-Seo turned, eyebrows knitting together. “Ttal, no, no…don’t say that about your mother, she loves you, she’s just very hurt and that’s not your fault. Ttal…Ji-Hye, don’t hate your mother okay?” The young witch just shrugged her shoulders and looked away. “Tell her that.” His shoulders slumped, and he sat back in his seat. “I’ll leave her here…” “Appa-” Ji-Hye’s eyes widened, and she looked at him hurt, almost indignant. “Just until your mother finds herself, okay…? You’ll be fine…halmonnie Mi-Young is gonna take care of you.”

Without another word, Ji-Hye pushed the car door open and walked out, slamming the door behind her and not once more looking at her parents.

“I do think we should send her to boarding school in Seogwipo…their private school for gifted witches is more than necessary for the child to control herself…especially after such an emotionally charged night on her lunar day. And this little outburst? Her emotions can harm her more than you believe…so Ji-Hye-” “Do whatever you want, I don’t care.” She stomped back into the house after that, her paternal grandmother following behind and making an attempt to console her.

Jeong-Sun rolled her eyes, and let out an exasperated sigh…she wasted no time retrieving her grandchild’s luggage, and following after the two with a, “this is why children need discipline.”

The air hung thick in the car as Jun-Seo finally drove the car out onto the street and left, praying that this was the right decision.

Ji-Hye had refused to speak to anyone for the next few days, filled with pain and the regret of not having hugged her father as tightly as her small arms could muster. Who knew if she would ever see the man again?

Shortly after, Jeong-Sun had sent her granddaughter to boarding school…and not before scolding her about dwelling so much on her idiot father. Ji-Hye could only sigh and nod, wincing as she was chided therein for thinking one thing and expected her grandmother to believe another.

It was safe to say that the child was glad she was a way from her grandmother’s prying. She said goodbye to her paternal grandmother, who promised to call and send her care packages…but as many other things in her life, this one had felt empty somehow, and she only left with one-sided hugs and a meager goodbye.

Nam Ji-Hye’s arrival at Seogwipo was celebrated by all others but hersellf it seemed; with her coven somewhere at the top of the hierarchy of magic, she simply had to present herself for the students at the boarding school to fall in line hoping to speak to the heir. It was a school with legacy where the teachers knew her grandmother and the women who came before her, and as such held high expectations for the young witch; and to make matters all the more peculiar, Instead of ridiculing her for her mother’s leave from the coven, they mourned her loss - it seems her grandmother had preferred to concoct stories rather than face ridicule - and commended Ji-Hye for living her very life in order to make her mother and coven proud.

The praise made her uncomfortable in the very same way in which the elders at the temple had made her feel…and she welcomed this because it made her feel closer to home.

She was so young and remained in the same position of power as she had been allowed to taste at home. It felt foreign, but it was a distraction.

The confidence she had previously held below the surface began to bubble and grow. The people in school had not known her before…they had not known the Ji-Hye who stuck to her father like glue, nor the one who shed tears over a mother who held no love for her. She no longer had to be that girl.

Instead, Ji-Hye could reinvent herself…slowly but surely she became the girl her grandmother wanted her to be, a girl who kept her emotions in line, and focused on one goal and one goal only…becoming a high priestess worthy of the Miryunamu coven, and Ji-Hye knew she was worthy…at least, this is what she expressed in front of others.

She made herself someone untouchable, an ethereal stranger, mature friend, and prodigal student; she played this role so well that she began to believe this was the person she was.

She was now more of a myth than a person of flesh and blood.

Ji-Hye would hear the disappointment in her paternal grandmother’s voice when they spoke on the phone, but ignored it in favor of her maternal grandmother’s praise. Deep down she held resent for the woman, but that resent was no match for what she felt for her mother…and this resent may have been something that pushed her to strive while she was away from Gunsan. She was going to show Nam Hye-Jin what she had lost when she turned away from her daughter.  

If anyone at that school truly knew her, they would know that even at sixteen, she found herself crying over her parents when everyone else was asleep; they would know how much the Miryunamu marking on her arm bothered her when she had nightmares; they would know that she was so scared of commitment that she had never uttered the word ‘saranghae’ to anyone she had met in school…not jokingly, and not seriously; they would know about her romantic partners chiding her for her lack of ‘emotion’; they would know that she never skipped her birth control because she could not imagine bringing a child into this world and becoming like her mother; and they would know that they meant nothing to Ji-Hye. But most importantly, they would know that she had long ago managed to marry the two personalities that had arisen from the two different worlds she was raised in.

She was equal parts the woman her father would have wanted her to be - the woman her paternal grandmother raised her to be - and equal parts the adversary her maternal grandmother knew she was…it ran through her veins after all.

But she had married these two personalities as she had thought was true to herself, and her true person did not bend to anyone else’s expectations.

Throughout the years she learned to keep her mind clear around her grandmother and her prying clairvoyance. She learned to keep her smiles bright, and she learned to keep ideas to herself lest they show her true colors.

She graduated from Seogwipo with honors, and a few false promises to keep in touch. Her flight back to Gunsan was dreary and slow, but she needed the time to think of the words she would tell her grandmother. The woman didn’t think that Ji-Hye needed any formal education after graduating from such a presitigous school but Ji-Hye had already applied and been accepted to Ewha Woman’s University in Seoul…she would have to live without her heir for a few more years.

Halmonnie Mi-Young had been the one to pick her up from the airport…as soon as Ji-Hye laid eyes on the woman, she approached and pulled her into a hug, rationalizing that it had to do with the familiarity of the woman…one of the only people who had never slighted her. She almost cried, and she may have if it wasn’t daylight, and she hadn’t trained her mind so diligently to keep from showing such vulnerability. Still Ji-Hye breathed a sigh of relief. “Halmonnie…I missed you.” “I missed you too…” She smiled, and observed the young woman. “Your father tells me you haven’t been answering his calls.” “I haven’t had the time.” “The courage, you mean?” “Halmonnie, please…I just landed, I still have jetlag, and the last thing I need is you scolding me for forgetting to call.” “Okay, okay…lets go have dinner, I made all of your favorites…and that Jeong-Sun even made hotteok and makgeolli sool bbang…and maybe you can tell her about Ewha.” “Yeah…maybe.”

Well, Ji-Hye did, and their merry reunion became a mess between the three women with Mi-Young playing mediator and Ji-Hye demanding her space, and time away from the coven to grow. Jeong-Sun was having none of it, “you had enough time in Seogwipo, Ji-Hye, and that’s more than enough. I can’t believe it, just like your mother…how can you be so ungrateful?” “Halmonnie…my decision is final. You may not understand, but that much doesn’t concern me.” The woman was speechless, her own child hadn’t even spoken to her like this. “Why wont you just accept the gift you’ve been given?” “Who says I’m not? I’m not running away or renouncing this title. I’m your heir…as in, I inherit what you leave after you pass away. You’re a middle-aged woman in her prime, halmonnie…you’re not dying anytime soon, and I’ve been at the top of my studies even though I haven’t been under your thumb all of these years. I will continue studying to become the high priestess but I cannot stay in this small town when there is only so much room for growth. This coven will forever stay with me…you made sure of that but I can’t stay…I’m sorry, I have no infant’s life to exchange for my own, but I’m leaving nonetheless. If I decide that I no longer want to be a part of his coven, that will be it. Blood is not always so thick as to confine them, halmonnie. Gunsan is my home, and I will return, but Gunsan has also taken many things from me.” The older woman didn’t utter another word, a grim expression on her features and lips set in a tight line. Mi-Young was the one to speak. “Sweetheart, I’m glad you want to roam and grow, you need to see new things so that your magic doesn’t become one-sided. I’ll be here with opens arms.” “Thank you…for everything. I’ll be leaving in about three months, so for now, I’m all yours.”

And for three months Jeong-Sun didn’t speak to her granddaughter…the older woman could hold a grudge, but Ji-Hye was stubborn, and wouldn’t stay just to make her happy.

When Ji-Hye left, the only one who saw her off from Gunsan was Mi-Young…the two promised to talk each day, and unlike the empty promises at her graduation, she knew this one she would keep. Four years passed and she kept her promise. She kept it even when the two fought over Ji-Hye’s father, she kept it when Mi-Young tried to mend things between her maternal grandmother, and she would continue to keep the promise.

Keeping in touch with one of the only people she truly showed love to, managed to keep her sane, especially when she moved to Sunseong and her paternal grandmother went ballistic. ‘I promise I’ll visit.’

The new city was foreign and she needed a piece of home…Mi-Young was that piece. Her grandmothers (even Jeong-Sun, while reluctant at times) kept her grounded while she tried to fly.

Ji-Hye had settled down in a hub for magic, where her existence wasn’t the most important thing to every magical creature present…and it was exactly what she needed. She knew she was still finding herself and would do a better job in a place where she could live quietly, but grow nonetheless. She found herself a comfortable place to live, a large companion so that she wouldn’t be lonely, and most importantly, a job so that she could be independent from her grandmother and her grandmother’s money.

It seemed right, if only for the time being…and Sunseong seemed willing to give Ji-Hye lots of things. The city gave her a place to grown, and one day as she panicked and rushed her big dog to the nearest vet, it gave her a chance to forgive her father. Dragging her great pyrenees into the office was a great feet for the small witch…she kept her eyes on the dog until reaching the office, where she finally encountered a man she had no hopes of seeing again.

The man ran the clinic nearest her own home, “Appa…”

And this was only one of the many tests this city and life would surely provide. Ji-Hye thought she would cry at first, thought she would be angry…but that was in the past, she had grown and matured. She was different now, and this only proved it. The person she was then and now were different, and the magic that coursed through her veins now was different than the magic then.

She would continue to grow in Sunseong, but for now, she knew that she had come a long way from the little girl in the back of the car, crying and suffering all alone.

CHARACTERIZATION:

Afraid of Commitment (neg.) ― Her mother left much deeper scars than the marking on the inside of her right arm…the person whom should have shared the most important bond with her so easily gave her away and that is something that is ingrained in her memory. She can hold healthy relationships (platonic or not) as long as she has placed immovable boundaries and feels in control of the progression of said relationship; for Ji-Hye there is a glass ceiling, something of a baseline for the relationships she is a part of, and any threat of the other person pushing past that baseline will result in a series of acts of self-preservation from the witch.

Nurturing (pos.) ― “I’ve become something I never had.” In a sense, Ji-Hye has internalized all of the resentment she has towards her mother, and has projected it in the form of this ‘nurturing holistic’ who cares for the ailments of others. If her very mother appeared on her doorstep wounded and in need, Ji-Hye would provide her with shelter and care instead of turning her away. A therapist she had been assigned to once explained that this was one of many defense mechanisms she held, those of which were normal to have with Ji-Hye’s upbringing, and he didn’t believe they would pose trouble so long as Ji-Hye’s attitudes didn’t venture into the extreme.

Impulsive (neg.) ― Not so much with her actions, as with her words (and this could be considered a blunt tongue); when in the heat of the moment, Ji-Hye has never been able to keep her tongue from running away from her pragmatic mind. When her mind does catch up, she often knows she has done wrong but it is not often that she will apologize. “I said those things in the heat of the moment, I’m sure you’ll understand,” after all, people have done much worse when cornered. She’s learned that these bouts of verbally impulsive behavior are an outlet for emotions, and allow her a sense of calm (as one would feel after breaking a plate in their anger); it is not the healthiest form of expression, but she has refrained from working on this part of herself because the alternative (bottling up her feelings) is one of the unhealthiest decisions a witch can make.

Emotionally Mature (pos.) ― Ji-Hye’s emotional maturity ‘in theory’ should not be confused with one’s emotional maturity ‘in practice’. This is one of the many complex aspects of the young witch as she is quick to admit her own feelings (to herself, of course), but much quicker will she file them somewhere in her mind and keep them from the receiving party. However, since she can’t hold her tongue during a heated argument, there are snippets of these files that will slip out, much to her chagrin…“i’m not going to say that was a lie, but i’d prefer if we catalog that, and talk about it later…much later, arasso?” Her emotional maturity stems from a search for understanding of ‘the self’, but this becomes harder to establish when mending relationships, as she does seek want to understand ‘the self’ in relation to ‘the other’.

Needy (neg.) ― Although Ji is afraid of commitment, she wishes to feel needed, and this will flourish in the midst of an acquaintance that is entirely platonic (“I help you, so long as you need me, there is little or no emotional attachment”). This may stem from her father’s own desires to feel needed by the women in his life, and feel like he truly belongs to someone in a way that will alter their life. This is much like the transference of her resentment to her mother, as well as her nurturing nature. It’s one of her most unhealthy afflictions, also stemming from an ever so slight inferiority complex she holds towards her mother.

Adroit (pos.) ― Druids are healers in every aspect of the word, they are attuned to the connection between the physical body of man and the ways in which nature can be used to help and heal. She has always been good with her hands, almost as if the mark on her arm has both charmed and hexed her. Ji-Hye’s nimble fingers work with the finesse of a surgeon as her hands explore and prod, hoping to find and aid the ailments of others. When she is successful in finding the ‘problem areas’, she decides if this can be treated with her own medicine or if she would council her patient into admitting themselves into a hospital for medical treatment.

Reticent (neg.) ― As if it hasn’t been said enough…Ji-Hye has a difficulty working through relationships, but this goes much further than that. It’s almost this kind of secretive behavior to her person. She had learned much like her mother, that it was best to keep certain thoughts to herself in the presence of her grandmother (who swore to keep herself from prying into Ji-Hye’s mind, and obviously lied). There is a peculiar air of mystery, something effortless as she has receded into her own mind, and kept many of her plans (as simple as going to buy a dog) to herself. Sometimes she slips from this composure and throws herself into rambles, as one would when they are tired of silence (something that happens when she is around her father at most), but after that moment her face falls, cheeks flush…it’s almost like she’s ashamed.

Miscellaneous ―   001. She reconnected with her father once when her pet Yeong-Cheol was sick and she rushed him to the nearest veterinary clinic. There, she found her father whose features went from surprised, to warm and later ashamed (of himself) at the sight of his daughter.   002. Ji-Hye trusts her hands more than her eyes at times, and because of this has opted to keep from scrying with objects such as mirrors or crystal balls, especially when she has another life placed in her hands.   003. For the longest time, she has wanted to change her legal name to Byun like her father but does not have the courage to ask for his permission as it would entice conversations of her ‘connection to her mother’ and how she should ‘cherish that’…she knows he would not deny her the privilege, but keeps herself at bay with the pretense of legal hurdles…and besides, her grandmother would never allow it.   004. It started with a pregnant patient who was more than a little superstitious, and knowing how stress would affect the child, she offered to make a charm for the unborn baby “hang this over your headboard, the place of love and conception, the delivery will be fine”; the pregnancy was a success and the patient has never let Ji-Hye forget it. She now offers to make charms for those who truly believe in their potential.   005. She is many things, and she is also a hypocrite. After her 9 - 5 days at the center, she loves to go home and sit down with a drama where she will whine about how stupid the main characters are, and how things will be resolved if they just sat and communicated.   006. Yeong-Cheol is nearly two-feet tall, and people think he’s most definitely a supernatural creature but the dog is just…a dog. She’s not going to go around explaining this small detail, people will believe what they wish, and the happy-go-lucky creature doesn’t know it, but he’s been offering an extra layer of protection for his pint-sized owner.   007. She has meetings with her halmonnie from her father’s side every few months where they have tea, and dinner…her halmonnie from her mother’s side always shows up and demands for her granddaughter to return to her home; the three witches sit together and awkwardly talk about how the coven is fairing…“halmonnie, I’m not saying this is a cult, but…” she tries to joke in order to break the ice, but it never does help to joke about the woman’s very life.   008. Ji is adept at very awkward family reunions, and even more awkward birthday dinners with her mother and father where she ignores her mother completely, and then never hears the end of it from her father.   009. She is barely standing at five-foot-one, and is barely 120 lbs soaking wet, with no protective wards (except the bare minimum her father insisted she have in her apartment) or weapons and a dog that is not a familiar…but she thinks she can handle herself when truly she’s such a sitting duck…in reality, she’s much like the passive piece in a board game.   010. “What’s the farmers market when you have my kitchen?” She doesn’t cook each night (except a whole three-freaking-course meal for her little Cheols), even though she has plenty of time after her 9 - 5, but you’d think the opposite if you walk into her kitchen and see the plants (herbs, and spices as well as one or two peace lilies here, a devil’s ivy there and an english ivy in between)…she picked the apartment for that beautiful balcony with just enough sun, the space for her baby, and those perfectly positioned windows in the kitchen. The fruits and veggies are actually grown on the balcony or the window sills but the kitchen speaks for itself.   011. The young witch is frightened to death of cemeteries no thanks to a certain grandmother of hers, “you must never touch this form of magic, Ji-Hye, it will destroy you from the inside out…”, and then she went on a rant about maggots and their consumption of dead tissue in order to cleanse the still living tissue…fun times for a prepubescent witch.   012. She honestly thinks her father might be trying to talk to Cheols but…“appa, I’m pretty sure he isn’t…you know…magical.” Her father never fails to give her a look and chide her about keeping an open mind because there are some animals that are just shy or others that have simply lost their voice (“my precious baby, shy around me?” is one of many of her offended responses). But he might know more than his dear old daughter…after all, he’s been around and gaining knowledge for so long…and he runs an animal clinic no less.

SPECIALTIES:

SOOTHSAYING (40) RANK II ― Much like the skill of psychometry allows a witch to divinate events through contact with objects, soothsaying allows Ji-Hye to pinpoint the progression of one’s physical ailments through divination. She is able to do this through skin to skin contact, and as of late, she has managed to soothsay with no more than an acute proximity of fingertips to skin. These fingertips pick up traces of disease, cancerous cells, and molecular degradation in it’s early stages; and yet, this is not without her own mistakes, although that itself is a rare occurrence. Ji-Hye knows that the best witches should admit if their skill is yet to be perfected, and it’s true, the most faint trace still escapes her. Ji-Hye hopes to soon be able to identify any inkling of disease before it is present in the body, or even find them in children who are still in the womb.

HEALING MAGIC (20) RANK I ― For a druid, this power is as innate as their ability to soothsay; the soothsaying however requires much more diligent practice than does healing, as it is a skill that is much easier to muddle with external distractions. At the moment, she can heal cuts and wounds with skin to skin contact, as well as heal ailments like headaches or stomachaches, although this can leave her drained as she’s not skilled enough to outsource power from the matter surrounding her. In order to maintain a balance of the usage of her energy and that of the patient’s, she guides the body’s own energy towards the damaged area in order for the body to heal itself, and regenerate the tissue or kill the infection. Ji-Hye’s hands need to be in close contact with the organ or appendage in question in order to properly heal it (not to be confused with necromancy, as druids don’t touch this form of magic). As her focus has ventured into other herbal medicines she admits she has not been as diligent a student as her grandmother would wish.

POTIONS BREWING (20) RANK I ― This is yet another integral part of her practices as something of a ‘witch doctor’. There are ailments that just don’t require Ji-Hye to spend her energy, and if there is a plant which can alleviate a child’s stomach pain or the headaches of a workaholic woman; although healing magic could cure these ailments as well, Ji-Hye knows that brewing potions is important because she should conserve her energy and find alternative forms of healing. This is a skill that comes a bit easier to Ji-Hye…she has remembered the steps to some crucial potions (like muscle memory) but cannot yet create her own recipes and always follows the guidelines provided by her grimoire. She can however brew several (yet small) batches of different potions at once, as she keeps her hands steady with the fire magic…its tedious work, but not much different than cooking.

HERBOLOGY (0) INNATE ― This is a skill she is adept in as a ‘human’ as she has pursued a higher education and studied botany, but as a witch, there is much to learn about herbs, roots, and other flora. She is adept at spotting a plant that may be useful so long as she has her Frankenstein of a grimoire, (equal parts ‘recipes, guidelines, and tips and tricks’ of the Nam and Byun lineages), but may be otherwise confused if presented with two similar looking plants…and the scents are another story entirely. Flowers are one thing of course, but herbs and other rare species of plants are much harder to distinguish…she’d like to ask her father for help as he is far more adept in this subset of magic.

EARTH MAGIC (0) INNATE ― “My absolutely favorite hobby…I should become serious about you.” And not that she isn’t serious about her earth magic, she’s a druid after all, it wouldn’t be like her to ignore the pull of the earth beneath her feet…it’s just that she could be so much better at keeping a garden and creating the plants she needs in a shorter period of time. As of now, a plant has never died in her care but Ji-Hye is not able to conjure plants from pure matter (she can nurture seeds and control their germination, but not create them), and she is not able to grow them within minutes like a more skilled witch. She is the equivalent of a human with a ‘green thumb’ which is often laughable to her grandmother, but there is time to learn and better herself. In her pseudo-clinic as well as the balcony of her home, Ji-Hye keeps her plants and tends to them, they are maintained in something akin to a magical barrier (which does no more than control its internal temperature and act as a barrier from pests)

TRANSFERENCE (0) INNATE ― Not something she does often, as it brings physical pain to her own body, but when in need of it, she will clasp the other organism, close her eyes (as it requires much concentration, and if done incorrectly the pain can be transferred incorrectly…this would pose dire consequences) and imagine the pain as something tangible yet malleable, something she could guide from the other body into her own, the transference diluting the pain and lessening its effects; and after a few hours (more like a day or three) of rest her body has no traces of the pain. But this skill is not a way to heal another’s wound completely, and will only aid in the most minute regeneration of tissue.