#*jack headcanon

oh my gosh thanks this is so cute. okay i got this. marco is like five years old and he's literally the sweetest kid. he just needs someone to make sure he eats and stuff. bertholdt is like, gosh, seventeen or eighteen and he lives a few houses down from the bodt family.

bert is such. a good caretaker.

he's a little bit of a pushover but marco hardly tries to take advantage of his niceness. so he's all like, "no television until we have a snack first" and stuff when marco comes home from kindergarten and of course its only healthy stuff like apple slices y'know. they color together a lot and marco totally has that sweet 64 pack of crayolas.

dfab trans* karkat who is a really, really angry queer kid

dfab genderqueer aradia who uses feminine or neutral pronouns

dfab trans* tavros with stretched ears and flowers on his prosthetics

dmab genderfluid sollux who tweets pronoun changes

dmab genderqueer leaning female nepeta - super feminist and she beats up boys

dmab trans* kanaya fashionista grrrrrl who sews binders and skirts and such for her friends

dmab trans* terezi who cackles and talks loudly about her boobs growing and she wears combat boots and horrible clashing prints

dmab trans* vriska who carries a cutlass around and swats people with the flat of it b/c gender = pirate

dfab trans* equius the bodybuilder who built a ton of muscle before he was even on testosterone

dmab genderqueer gamzee who says that one's expression is a miracle and ... uh ... maybe we should all just smoke :o)

dfab trans* eridan who is a modern day wizard dandy or thats what he calls himself ... duke of seapunk 

one tiny child, four very intense parents

levi hates doing diapers but hes really particular about it so he does most of the diapers anyway. hes also in charge of baths and he chides the baby when it grows up and starts inevitably getting into shenanigans and tearing down baby gates ( baby gate maria ). he doesn't really feel bad about discipline but he has a real soft spot for the baby and shows it in ways that no one was expecting.

he gives the baby a lot of snacks and spends a lot of quality time with them; stories and books.

hanji!! is chief of child education and they are so!!! particular about the DAYCARE that they go into. hanji understands the importance of not putting a ton of pressure on such a young child, but they work in ways to teach them things. a lot of french is spoken around the house. hanji takes naps with baby and sings to them and never does baby talk. "ah! what a strong grip - you truly are mike's child, aren't you?"

mike is so confused by baby at first, scared of this small human being that wails and demands constant attention. but he loves this child so much and there's one time that hanji hands it over "just needs to be rocked to sleep, is all!" so he's overly careful and its actually just a ploy from the other three to see how mike handles the baby on his own. he ends up talking to the baby and its very sweet and everyone listens from the other room and bites their fists because its so cute. "i wonder what you'll be like when you're older. i'm looking forward to that, big guy. ... soon you'll be walking and beating me up in no time, huh ..."

hanji has such an intense thirst for knowledge but a problem with the education system - but not as much as levi does

they read and read and read and do their homework at the last minute and somehow pull off amazing essays that can be off topic

he skips class when the teachers piss him off and he's just sort of a punk with a lot of potential who would much rather get in fights with bigger kids and throw rocks off the over pass

hanji might even end up valedictorian of their class and everyone is sort of confused because hanji is very smart but theyre so eccentric

the speech they make for the graduating class is weird but oddly moving

hanji and levi and mike and irvin end up going to denny's and then drinking forties at the over pass they always hang out at

shingeki no kyojin pokemon AU

its actually really perfect and it fits so well but i have current manga #spoilers in here sorta? so take care about that! also its sorta ... long.

kankri vantas

closes an eye

whispers my love

this is kinda vague so i guess ill just ramble on a bit if thats cool

i feel like before kankri devoted himself to the pursuit of social justice ( pre game, maybe ... gosh, 4 sweeps ) he was left feeling stuck without a purpose and he couldnt articulate it terribly well

he's much better at articulating his opinions and facts about the caste system and various injustices in beforean society than he is about his own feelings

perhaps when confronted with "how does that make you feel" he stutters and goes on a tirade to dance around the subject

his snobbiness towards friends and the consequent offense they take is not at all intended but he does mean to distance himself through his rhetoric subconsciously and seem untouchable

ALL THREE ZAHHAKS? yeehaw

iiiii see human zahhaks as native american!!! probably a plains tribe? they carry a lot of pride from these roots and tbh thats why theyre all gr8 at archery ( besides poor equius :'[ )

darkleer is like insanely tall and RIPPED!!!! tbh so are both of his sons but hes the Tallest and the Rippedest. rly dark skin, kinda crooked nose, permanent scowl. hes actually noooot that mean or anything just sorta stern and uptight? ehehe uh

horuss is the golden child 'cause in canon he was described as a renaissance troll by aranea so hes academically and extracurricular ... ly perfect pretty much? he just ... happens to be pretty weird and snooty and clingy. i headcanon him as a bit wider than equius and hes pretty??? cut in his musculature

EQUIUS [ heavy breathing ] my darling

[3:07:32 PM] Pat G: what did you want to ask me

[3:07:43 PM] detective james carter.: okay so

[3:07:50 PM] detective james carter.: in snk

[3:08:04 PM] detective james carter.: the remaining human population has been sequestered in walls together for, about

[3:08:11 PM] detective james carter.: ~100 - 110 years

[3:08:29 PM] detective james carter.: asians are told to be extinct (only mikasa is left)

[3:08:43 PM] detective james carter.: so i was wondering about what their language would be reduced to in that time frame?

[3:08:48 PM] detective james carter.: language and race

[3:09:23 PM] detective james carter.: cause they had kidnapped mikasa when she was young and said something like "humans used to have races too, before the walls went up, this one is 'asian'"

[3:09:28 PM] Pat G: probably, mostly mandarin and chinese b/c of their population, and military/industrial capabilities

[3:09:41 PM] Pat G: oh, hmmmm

[3:09:43 PM] Pat G: idk mang

[3:09:53 PM] detective james carter.: im not sure

[3:09:58 PM] detective james carter.: where theyre located though?

[3:10:08 PM] detective james carter.: it just says that theyre in wall maria/rose/sina

[3:10:35 PM] detective james carter.: but theyre near a forest of "giant trees" so for some reason im thinking californian red woods ... er, that being said i dunno what their language would be

[3:10:47 PM] detective james carter.: their names seem to be all european

[3:10:54 PM] Pat G: hmmm, word

[3:10:56 PM] Pat G: who knows

[3:11:07 PM] detective james carter.: CONNY SPRINGER

[3:11:18 PM] detective james carter.: thats an american name if i ever fuckin heard one

[3:11:24 PM] detective james carter.: everyone else is german or french though

[3:11:32 PM] Pat G: yeah totally

[3:11:52 PM] detective james carter.: sasha braus, jean kirschtein, rivaille, irvin, eren jaeger, grisha

[3:12:06 PM] detective james carter.: reiner braun - HOW DO U GET MORE GERMAN THAN THAT

[3:12:11 PM] detective james carter.: BERTHOLDT HOOVER

[3:12:31 PM] Pat G: it makes sense that the germans might have a better chance at survival

[3:12:43 PM] Pat G: or like, the swiss especially, and austrians

[3:12:48 PM] detective james carter.: hmmmmm

[3:13:03 PM] Pat G: because super mountainous regions

[3:13:21 PM] detective james carter.: thats possible! they mentioned mountains in the training

[3:13:24 PM] detective james carter.: very cold mountains

[3:13:34 PM] Pat G: plus switzerland has like, entire underground cities that can hold millions of people for decades

[3:13:42 PM] detective james carter.: !!!!

[3:13:45 PM] detective james carter.: THAT MIGHT BE IT

[3:13:52 PM] detective james carter.: theres a part later on wherein

[3:14:07 PM] detective james carter.: they go to navigate the underground cities in the innermost walls

[3:14:14 PM] detective james carter.: and theres the mountains

[3:14:27 PM] Pat G: there you go

[3:14:38 PM] Pat G: although! you made a good point with redwood trees

[3:14:40 PM] detective james carter.: the mystery is solved

[3:15:04 PM] Pat G: it could have been the rocky mountains in question, housing norad and government stuff

[3:15:39 PM] Pat G: because there are extensive underground tunnels and bases, ect

[3:15:48 PM] detective james carter.: right ... hm

[3:16:08 PM] detective james carter.: i think norway/switzerland/finland is

[3:16:12 PM] detective james carter.: really viable though

[3:16:23 PM] detective james carter.: although they dont really note

[3:16:25 PM] detective james carter.: it being super cold

[3:16:31 PM] Pat G: word

[3:16:35 PM] detective james carter.: wherever they live

[3:16:38 PM] Pat G: norway and finland are like

[3:16:44 PM] Pat G: desolate

[3:16:49 PM] Pat G: no forests to speak of

[3:17:16 PM] detective james carter.: oh hmm

[3:17:23 PM] detective james carter.: the forests in wall maria

[3:17:27 PM] detective james carter.: have huuuuuuuge trees

[3:17:38 PM] Pat G: then nah

[3:17:43 PM] detective james carter.: lmfao i was trying to find a picture of reiner cause hes

[3:17:44 PM] detective james carter.: so

[3:17:45 PM] detective james carter.: ARYAN

[3:17:46 PM] Pat G: it's not in scandanavia

[3:17:57 PM] Pat G: sounds like central europe

[3:18:23 PM] detective james carter.: perhaps >:0a i think europe is very likely because if it were int he americas

[3:18:32 PM] detective james carter.: there would be more of a

[3:18:33 PM] detective james carter.: mixture

[3:18:35 PM] detective james carter.: in race and such

[3:18:41 PM] Pat G: true

[3:18:50 PM] detective james carter.: http://24.media.tumblr.com/45a99f5dbc4a14a3e1690081593b7680/tumblr_mp66bhXc2p1rx92ngo1_400.jpg lmfao reiner is the blonde guy in the 'love?!' panel

[3:18:51 PM] Pat G: maybe the guy who wrote it just looked up white people names

[3:18:56 PM] detective james carter.: aryan hottie

[3:19:06 PM] Pat G: huehuehue

[3:19:25 PM] detective james carter.: and irvin

[3:19:31 PM] detective james carter.: the blonde guy in the second panel

[3:20:01 PM] Pat G: also aryan?

[3:20:11 PM] detective james carter.: probably

[3:20:13 PM] Pat G: haha, omg

[3:20:20 PM] detective james carter.: i-irvin-sama ...